A Letter to Commercial Drivers Concerning the Road (Explicit Language As Needed)

wordsmythe wrote:

Wait a minute, did you just transition into Alan Jackson?

Almost, it was Jimmy Buffet into Alan Jackson & Jimmy Buffet. As an aside, there's side by side houseboat front porches, with astroturf, lawn chairs & tiki torches sittin out all summer lawn, it's the redneck yacht club.

Jayhawker wrote:

For you, Chiggie, great American hero that you are.

This is so NSFW.

That is freaking beautiful!

AnimeJ wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:

Wait a minute, did you just transition into Alan Jackson?

Almost, it was Jimmy Buffet into Alan Jackson & Jimmy Buffet. As an aside, there's side by side houseboat front porches, with astroturf, lawn chairs & tiki torches sittin out all summer lawn, it's the redneck yacht club.

I'm ashamed that I'm following this.

Chiggie Von Richthofen wrote:

Honk would mean that you need to go at a green light. Screaming women would mean that you are about to roundhouse kick my van with an oversized pallet of steel girders.

Awesome.

Tobyus wrote:

I am seriously considering inventing some type of weapon system for dealing with people that ride on my bumper when I have my wife and son in the car. For now, I'll continue to slow down to the speed limit and continuously spray my wind shield wiper fluid all over their car until they decide to back off or go around me.

Note: if you're going the speed limit in the right two lanes with the other cars that are also generally doing the speed limit.. then by all means. More power to you. If you cut in front of traffic that was previously moving at 5 to 10 miles per hour over the speed limit, smoothly I might add, then expect people to get pissed off at you and tailgate.

Can we get another rant about people that cruise in the left lane between the speed limit and 5 over when half the traffic on the road is going 10 or 15 over? You should never be forced to pass on the right.. and yet it happens all the time because drivers (they always seem to be from out of state.. you jerks!) just cruise in the passing lane.

If you cruise in the passing lane you will get the finger from the driver of every vehicle that pulls up behind you and then has to get over to the right to get around you.

Sh*t man, that was me truckin' on I-30 at the three in the afternoon!

No seriously though, I feel your pain. I deal with NJ/NYC drivers on the road every day and have been in some close calls with truckers. The most common occurance is being in the right lane about to get off an exit and the @sshat trucker in the middle lane wakes up and realizes he needs to get off the same exit. Trailer > Sedan so I have to get swerve into the shoulder unless I have a death wish that particular day.

What's better is when they do actually run you off the road and then drive away. Then, in some moment of crazed determination.. you chase them to the next stop light and actually run up and knock on their door and inform them that they hit your car.

What's even better than that is when they look you in the eye and say "No I didn't" and then calmly shut their door in your face and go back to waiting for their turn arrow to come on.

And the best part is when you get like the 6 cars behind you that watched it happen as witnesses and call the police and then the trucking company and report his plates.

*note*

This didn't happen to me but to a friend of mine. The friend was in a right turn lane. The truck was in a center lane that's supposed to go straight across only. He made a right turn and his trailer just shoved/dragged my friend's Escort right into the ditch on the side of the road. His car was still drivable and he had time. I think I probably would have driven out into the road and parked my car sideways in front of him at the light.

I'm reactionary like that though.

I don't know why, but I really want this stickied. Nice rant.

I figure I'll just keep going until I've got a book's worth.

Take that writers who work on plot and narrative!

Chiggie is the Lewis Black of this forum.

Chiggie Von Richthofen wrote:

Take that writers who work on plot and narrative!

Plot and narrative are overrated anyway! Keep those rants coming!

Thin_J wrote:

Note: if you're going the speed limit in the right two lanes with the other cars that are also generally doing the speed limit.. then by all means. More power to you. If you cut in front of traffic that was previously moving at 5 to 10 miles per hour over the speed limit, smoothly I might add, then expect people to get pissed off at you and tailgate.

If I'm in the left lane, I'm passing somebody, and I will speed up to whatever speed it takes to get out of the way of the traffic behind me and past the slower traffic. I'm talking about being in the far right lane or middle lane, driving a safe distance behind the car in front of me, at the exact same speed as the car in front of me, with the left lane wide open and no cars in sight...and some jerk still gets so close I can no longer see their headlights in my rearview mirror.

The other instance would be on a two lane road, where I am either driving behind someone else and at a safe distance driving the same speed as the person in front of me, or I have no cars in front of me and am already going 10-15 above the speed limit, and someone feels the need to get so close that it looks as if I could be towing them.

Those two situations make me want to have rear facing rocket launchers, oil slicks, smoke screens, nails, or something I can use to put them at a safe distance so I don't have to worry about their engine ending up sitting in my son's car seat when someone pulls out in front of me, or the traffic ahead suddenly stops for no reason (happens a lot on I-40/640/75). Plus I just got rear ended on a 2 lane road a few weeks ago with my wife and son in the car, and the guy ran before the police got there...so I have even more motivation to "teach" these idiots how to drive.

If you cruise in the passing lane you will get the finger from the driver of every vehicle that pulls up behind you and then has to get over to the right to get around you.

I completely understand, and feel the same way. People that ride in the left lane that aren't keeping up with the car in front of them need to get out of the way.

wordsmythe wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:

Wait a minute, did you just transition into Alan Jackson?

Almost, it was Jimmy Buffet into Alan Jackson & Jimmy Buffet. As an aside, there's side by side houseboat front porches, with astroturf, lawn chairs & tiki torches sittin out all summer lawn, it's the redneck yacht club.

I'm ashamed that I'm following this.

Were you sellin turnips on a flatbed truck, crunchin on a pork rind when she pulled up?

AnimeJ wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:

Wait a minute, did you just transition into Alan Jackson?

Almost, it was Jimmy Buffet into Alan Jackson & Jimmy Buffet. As an aside, there's side by side houseboat front porches, with astroturf, lawn chairs & tiki torches sittin out all summer lawn, it's the redneck yacht club.

I'm ashamed that I'm following this.

Were you sellin turnips on a flatbed truck, crunchin on a pork rind when she pulled up?

Eugene, this is genius.

momgamer wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:

Wait a minute, did you just transition into Alan Jackson?

Almost, it was Jimmy Buffet into Alan Jackson & Jimmy Buffet. As an aside, there's side by side houseboat front porches, with astroturf, lawn chairs & tiki torches sittin out all summer lawn, it's the redneck yacht club.

I'm ashamed that I'm following this.

Were you sellin turnips on a flatbed truck, crunchin on a pork rind when she pulled up?

Eugene, this is genius. ;)

I'm currently lost and looking for the interstate, needing directions, and you're the mom for the job.

AnimeJ wrote:
momgamer wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:

Wait a minute, did you just transition into Alan Jackson?

Almost, it was Jimmy Buffet into Alan Jackson & Jimmy Buffet. As an aside, there's side by side houseboat front porches, with astroturf, lawn chairs & tiki torches sittin out all summer lawn, it's the redneck yacht club.

I'm ashamed that I'm following this.

Were you sellin turnips on a flatbed truck, crunchin on a pork rind when she pulled up?

Eugene, this is genius. ;)

I'm currently lost and looking for the interstate, needing directions, and you're the mom for the job.

Well, way up yonder past the caution light there's a little country store with an old Coke sign...

momgamer wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:
momgamer wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:
AnimeJ wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:

Wait a minute, did you just transition into Alan Jackson?

Almost, it was Jimmy Buffet into Alan Jackson & Jimmy Buffet. As an aside, there's side by side houseboat front porches, with astroturf, lawn chairs & tiki torches sittin out all summer lawn, it's the redneck yacht club.

I'm ashamed that I'm following this.

Were you sellin turnips on a flatbed truck, crunchin on a pork rind when she pulled up?

Eugene, this is genius. ;)

I'm currently lost and looking for the interstate, needing directions, and you're the mom for the job.

Well, way up yonder past the caution light there's a little country store with an old Coke sign...

You got to stop an ask Ms Bell for some of her sweet tea!

The only difference I see with our driving styles, Toby, is that my Corolla means that I'll always see the guy behind me's lights. If he's riding my bumper, they're just about all I see.

*grumble* SUVs *grumble*

AnimeJ wrote:

Were you sellin turnips on a flatbed truck, crunchin on a pork rind when she pulled up?

A parallel: Just because I speak Spanish doesn't mean I'm from Mexico.

...But sometimes good directions are just as good as unanswered prayers.

And may I add that for some reason Good Directions keeps transforming in my head into Chatahoochee, and that's not OK.

Chiggie Von Richthofen wrote:

I don't think it's me you all really miss. You just miss my edgy, in-your-face attitude.

You never had your edgy in my face... nor is it aplicable to my world... so i definitely don't miss that.

Also, my disdain for Monkees.

IMAGE(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000033O3.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg)

Sacrilege!

I get to pull over every big rig I see, then I get to turn them around. I'm pulling for yah chiggie.

wordsmythe wrote:

And may I add that for some reason Good Directions keeps transforming in my head into Chatahoochee, and that's not OK.

And you accuse me of giving XP to Old Nick!

Hey chiggie, We gotta great big convoy truckin through the night. We gotta great big convoy, ain't that a beautiful site. Convoy.

KrazyTacoFO wrote:

Hey chiggie, We gotta great big convoy truckin through the night. We gotta great big convoy, ain't that a beautiful site. Convoy.

Surprisingly I've never been accosted by any of the military vehicles I've encountered on the road. So, I'll give that one to you Taco.

Already looking forward to the next rant. May I hug you Chiggie?

Koning_Floris wrote:

Already looking forward to the next rant. May I hug you Chiggie?

Rant.

And, no.

wordsmythe wrote:

The only difference I see with our driving styles, Toby, is that my Corolla means that I'll always see the guy behind me's lights. If he's riding my bumper, they're just about all I see.

*grumble* SUVs *grumble*

Yeah, my car actually sits slightly higher than most, and its tail end slopes upwards + it has a medium sized spoiler, so I see more windshield and hood than headlights. Though I still only see headlights when the tailgater is in a large SUV or Truck.