Pirates 3: At Franchise's End

Just watched it. You know those big films in which they throw every stupid idea from any Dick, Tom, and Harry who walks onto the set? Add Pirates of the Caribbean 3 to that list. The plot looks like it was written on the Flying Dutchman's sails.

I was expecting a mediocre popcorn movie, perhaps more fun with Johnny Deep, and those meager hopes were dashed. It didn't really match up with Pirates 2, let alone the first film. The 2nd movie set up a great villain and side characters. I really liked Davy Jones and Bootstrap Bill, even Lord Beckett seemed like a dastardly fellow that I was looking forward to seeing more of. The scenes always felt intimate, the crew of the Flying Dutchman were so alive I want to reach out and touch them everytime I see them. The finale was a hell of a lot of fun, and when Jack Sparrow went the way he did, I desperately wanted to see film #3. Now I wish I hadn't. Most all of the characters in this franchise seemed lost and diminished in the spectacle and plot twists. Worst of all, Jack Sparrow seemed like a tired routine for Johnny Depp. There were only a few scenes of originality for the character. The ending was clever but after 2.5 hours neither I nor the rest of the audience were excited anymore.

It didn't really match up with Pirates 2


Man, that's saying something...

Ya i saw it tonight .....awful...

There goes 150 minutes of my life... damn you to hell disney.

Saw it at a Drive-In with friends during a lightning storm, put the top up when the rain came. Enjoyable experience, so-so movie. Keith Richards sucks. I like fish.

Glad i didn't go to see it with my friends!

Dudes.
Pirates suck anyways, ninjas for life fools.

I've heard of 'life partners' but not 'life fools'. I guess you must hate 'teh ninja'?

I saw Pirates 3 last night and enjoyed it more than the second one. While I appreciated the dark tone of Pirates 2, in the end there wasn't much of a plot and the whole thing was a large build-up to Pirates 3. Pirates 3 felt more swashbuckling and felt closer in tone to the original. All 3 Pirates flick are too long, but that's another issue entirely.

The ending for Pirates 3 was a bit too open ended for my tastes.

I loved Pirates 3, and thought it better than #2. I can't say any of the criticism or hate toward #3 are wrong. I dunno. I just...liked it. Maybe it was the quality crowd at the show I went to. Maybe it was my cute fiance sitting next to me munching on popcorn and laughing along with me. Maybe it was the oddity of two teenage girls dressed up in corsets, one holding a small male doll in her lap directly to my right. Maybe it was all the stress of the previous week, dying to have some fun on the Memorial Day weekend. In short, maybe I was in a bizarre frame of mind. But slap me thrice and call me my uncle's sister...I loved it.

I just got back from seeing it and feel disappointed. It just didn't live up to my expectations and I want that 2.5 hours and $10 back.

I've heard an odd split of opinions on this so far. The most glowing reviews i've heard are from Fanboys I wouldn't trust anyway, the rest of the opinion seems split between "It's another popcorn flick" and "Dear god how long was that where did my time go". I went into II with low expectations and got something out of it, and I figure i'll view this one similarly.

My wife and I were really excited about this movie. Until we saw it. Horribly disappointing. We couldn't wait for the thing to end so we could get on with our day. I really wonder how many studio folks sit through this and *honestly* say "oh...that's IT....this is a fantastic film! send it to the theatres!". The best that I can say about it was that it had quantity over quality. Both my wife and I said out loud during the film, "This is *really* bad."

The story was confusing at points, the dialogue was frequently unintelligible, and the worst sin of the movie is that you just don't care who wins the big battle in the end. We found that we weren't rooting for anyone.

It's going to do blockbuster numbers this weekend, but as word gets around I'm sure there will be a big drop-off.

Watching this movie was akin to listening to the sound the empty cans make falling from a hobo's cart. For 2 hours nonstop, in Dolby Digital.

You know, I've never been excited about one of these movies. I didn't see the original until 2 years after the theatrical release. Perhaps, since I have no expectations at all, I could enjoy it.

The only thing I thought missed the mark in Pirates 3 was that they really tried to cram a whole lot of plot into one movie. Each character had about 2 or 3 little sub-plots going on with them all the time so you were never really sure which one of their stories you were watching at any given time.

It was definitely my least favorite of the three, but I still enjoyed myself. I just wish that if they had really wanted to tell all the stories they tried to in one movie, that they would have just made two movies instead and stopped worrying about cramming everything into a "trilogy".

Saw it and thought it about the same level of the 2nd movie, which was decent but just a tad too long. Neither was as good as the first.

Do we really know it's the end of the franchise?

So what's the big deal? The end-of-life production run of another Hollywood property..

The only thing I regret seeing it for is that I completely forgot that it had Chow Yin-Fat in it. I was resolving not to ever see another movie with him.

Fanatka wrote:

The story was confusing at points, the dialogue was frequently unintelligible, and the worst sin of the movie is that you just don't care who wins the big battle in the end. We found that we weren't rooting for anyone.

That pretty much sums up how I feel about Pirates 3.

spoilers wrote:

[color=white]I thought it was terrible. The movie was basically a three hour game of "Who's f*cking who?" I had NO IDEA who was on which team by the end. Seriously, how many times can the main characters betray everyfreakinbody? This pretty much led to not caring who won.

Some actors were trying too hard to sound foreign or forcing the pirate speak too much. The most notable voice problems were Calypso, Barbosa and Davy Jones. At times, The dialouge didn't sound like English at all.

The plot sucked. Davy Jones this, Sparrow that, Turner with the other thing, Commander so and so did some sh*t over there... In between all of the betrayal, I don't know what happened. It was pretty hard to follow and none of it seemed very important.

Some of the scenes that should've been epic were completely lame. When they "rescued" Jack, the Kraken being dead already, Feng's death, Beckett being attacked and doing absolutely nothing, the entire Armada fleeing at the end of the movie for no good reason when they could've easily destroyed the Pirates, Will and Liz's silly relationship, the ending after the credits. UGH.

What's truly unbelievable is that I enjoyed Spiderman 3 a hell of a lot more than Pirates 3. I'm also so glad that we got free tickets for Pirates but I still want my three hours back. Pirates could've easily been an hour and a half if they had remove all of the useless sub-screwing-everyone-over-plots.

[/color]

Uh, how about some spoiler tags there Mystic Violet.

LeapingGnome wrote:

Uh, how about some spoiler tags there Mystic Violet.

Didn't think it was necessary in a thread discussing the movie. I fixed it anyway.

Mystic Violet wrote:
LeapingGnome wrote:

Uh, how about some spoiler tags there Mystic Violet.

Didn't think it was necessary in a thread discussing the movie. I fixed it anyway.

Well, I've seen threads with spoilers, but the thread itself is usually tagged then. No spoiler tag on the thread usually means spoiler tags in the thread. But that's just what I've seen.

That's right, I wondered what happened with the Krakan until they mentioned something about

Spoiler wrote:

[color=white] "killing your pet" or something.[/color]

Honestly if you went into the movie thinking it was going to be anything but the tongue and cheek cheese factory paradise for Pirates, that the franchise as been moving towards, then I think you may want to rethink your expectation values. I mean after Pirates 2 why would anyone think this one wouldn't have the same cheese just more of it? The second one had character changes also and so does the third. There is ridiculous usage of animals in the second and surprise surprise the same happens in the third. Really all in all I enjoyed the movie probably because I expected huge cheese factor and no real serious tones.

Spoiler wrote:

[color=white]Which is why I was pleasantly surprised by the very dark oriental beginning portion of the movie. I also enjoyed the surreal and twilight zone feel of Land's End. I thought that was a very cool part of the movie although many probably didn't. I also enjoyed Shipwreck Cove and the way it looked. It was kind of neat. Yea the Maelstorm was pretty lame and waaaaaay too long. The ending was corny but I thought the bonus footage after the credits was spot on considering. I can absolutely see a very loosely based "Treasure Island" kind of fourth movie with Jack and the kid in his teen years.[/color]

All in all I actually liked it better than the second Pirates which I thought was lame and definitely groomed my expectations for the third.

I kinda enjoyed it, but it was less fun than the original one (never saw the second). Seemed like they had to tie all the loose ends together, and almost the entire movie was occupied with that. The end fight was awesome though!

Hugely dissappointing. Mrs V. was going absolutely beserk waiting for the third film to come out, but her first comment upon it finishing was, "Hmm... Bit long, wasn't it?"

Hardly a glowing recommendation of someone I thought would never shut up about the damn thing. The myriad plot holes and faux dramatisations (as Mystic detailed in here big spoilers quote) ruin the film's - hell, the entire trilogy's - continuity.

And can we just set the record straight, here and now; Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightly are f*cking abysmal in this film--Knightly being especially bad. Whilst she was tolerable in the first two, she's apparently been to The Ben Affleck School of "Shouting is Acting" in preparation for the finale. I was climbing the walls every time she spoke by about the halfway point. Also, the gulf in talent between those two and Johnny Depp is embarassingly huge; both were massively outclassed by Depp's never-short-of-brilliant performance in every shared scene.

If you must go and see it, revel in Depp's performance - but switch off as best you can the rest of the time.

The adults may not like it, but the 13 year old crowd loves it.

kilroy0097 wrote:

but I thought the bonus footage after the credits was spot on considering

Dammit. After the 2nd movie's disappointing bonus footage following loooooong credits, we didn't bother to stay this time around. I mean, I figured there were some, but didn't think it was worth sitting through the credits to find out. Has it made it up on YouTube yet?

At some point, I have to -watch- these movies..

So, I suppose I can get planted pretty squarely in the 'loved it' camp. I honestly don't get all the hate. It was goofy, funny, with enough action to remind you that these are pirates, and pirates kick ass(Not as much as ninjas or samurai, but that's ok).

Best part though?

[color=white]I'd have to go with the bit where you find Jack in The Locker *dundundun* Watching the nose run across the salt flats was quite amusing, as well as the bit where he was interacting with himself.[/color]

All in all, I agree with WV; Depp was outstanding, and while Knightly and Bloom had some small moments, nothing really outstanding from either of them, they both felt very two dimensional, I guess. Worth watching? Sure, just don't expect something other than a good two and a half hours of goofy pirate movie with some high strung action here and there.

I don't understand all the hate. I really enjoyed the movie.

Mordiceius wrote:

I don't understand all the hate. I really enjoyed the movie.

Because summer blockbusters are an easy target for people to hate, reveling in false feeling of their taste superiority. Very easy to show your refined and discerning taste when you're bashing something primal, garish, loud, and overdone. "Oh, this movie was so awful, I can't believe I went to watch it!" -- but they know they go and watch it nevertheless.

And then they go home and watch themselves some Anime drivel -- even more primitive, garish, loud, and overdone -- yet they deem it an art form.