Midlife Crisis...Does it really exist?

DSGamer wrote:

More sinister. I already have some hairs between the brows. It's little hairs on the top of the nose. The outside. Short, but there nonetheless.... :(

Oh, don't worry, we still love you...


Yes I htink midlife crisis' happen. I want a tatoo but can't decidewhat to get or where to put it. I have this huge abdominal scar from a few surgeries, I wanted to tatoo a sword over it, but you can't.

I turn 30 next year. I'm actually rather weirded out by just how many people are either 29 or 30 in this thread.

As for aging, etc... well, frankly, all I care about is that I get out of life the things I want to get out of life. Just, that part isn't working out so well sometimes these days. Oh well.

1976-1977 reprasent !

shihonage wrote:

1976-1977 reprasent !

Oh yeah.

shihonage wrote:

1976-1977 reprasent !

Filthy yung'uns.

1974 forevah!

When was the generation switch from X to Y (if that's even correct)?

Quintin_Stone wrote:
shihonage wrote:

1976-1977 reprasent !

Filthy yung'uns.

1974 forevah!

'73 rules, '74 droools!

And to answer you, Baba, it doesn't look like a year is set in stone, but it's somewhere between 1976 and 1982 as the first year of Gen Y.

This thread needs a rez, if for no other reason that to see how all the "born in nineteen seventy-something" folks at the end are dealing with actually being mid-life.

I know I (born 1975) am going through something (whether it's a mid-life crisis or my age it just a correlation is TBD)... and this was the thread that came up when I searched for "midlife crisis" so here you go.

So how's Gen X/Y doing? Did you buy that sports car? Or was it a motorcycle?

I doubled down on first love of cycling by buying an electric folding bike and a new eBike. Thankfully that’s much cheaper than a sports car.

I would say I don’t think specifically about mid-life that much, because having lost my brother this year (he was 40) and my mom 5 years back (she was 60) I assume I’m well past middle-age already and much closer to the end if my family’s history holds.

Shazam wrote:

I don't want to grow up... I'm a Toys-R-Us kid...

If we were scoring posts in this thread, that one might win outright.

I think when I packed up my entire life and moved to Greece to be with my high school sweetheart, many people *not* on GWJ thought I was going through some kind of pre-mid-life crisis. So far so good.

And at no point have I wanted, nor will I be needing, a sports car or an affair with a younger woman to feel like I'm still...whatever.

Aged 51 years. YMMV.

Not there yet I guess. Had my 2nd kid just over a week after I turned 40 though. Busy and tired the last couple years. Not sure if I feel old or just fatigue hehe.

1975 here. I haven't felt the urge to splurge on a sports car yet. Actually it's kind of the opposite, I'm much more interested in arranging my finances so I can retire ASAP, or at least not have to work full time.

Only thing different in my mid-40’s is that I’ve resumed painting and making music after a decade long creative slump. Might be due more to covid boredom than age though. Getting old & decrepit has never really been something I put much thought into.

Mid-40s here - Let's see.....

I drive a WRX - check!
Quit my job of 15 years earlier this year out of boredom and lack of meaning - check!
Younger hot girlfriend - check!


I had a Mazdaspeed Miata about a decade ago, so that was my first mid-life crisis car. And the "younger" girlfriend isn't much shy of 40 herself and we've been together over a decade, sooooo I guess I was an early bloomer?

Born in 1977. My wife tells me that it's difficult to shop for me because if I see something I want, I buy it. No mid-life crisis though. I have a big house, fast computer, fiber internet, 3 dogs, and a wife. Is there anything else that's really needed?

Born in 1979.

I have gone through three or four crises between the age of 30 and 43, most of them relatively equivalent in seriousness. One of them might qualify as 'mid-life', at age 37 or 38.

None of them have resulted in me buying a sports or luxury car, but I have changed my perspective on a few things, got my sh*t together and my spending in check, and my savings have gone from virtually nothing to about 35% of what I need to be financially independent for the rest of my life.

Back in my 20's, my dad told me that, because I was a very mellow teenager (no drinking, no parties, no dating, mostly just me working on a computer or reading), I would have to be weary of mid-life crisis, as he expected that I would basically screw up my life (as a sort of rebound for not doing stupid sh*t in my teens). That has been on my mind ever since. No idea if there is any truth in that. So far so good though.

Born in 1980, and probably having a midlife crisis - although it manifests as an ever-present existential angst, rather than a desire to buy sports cars.

The way I see it, there is constant momentum in your 20s and 30s, as you try out new romantic relationships and careers, and you work constantly to figure out who you are and where you want to be and what you want from life. Then, at some point... it's all settled, seemingly. In my case: I'm 42, married for 13 years, in the same job for a decade, our "family unit" is complete, we will mostly likely never move house again... Etc., etc.

I'm not complaining about any of this, but it is hard to escape the feeling of stagnation sometimes - of every day being the same day.

For me, it's smoking.

I love my kids to death, but it also means having almost no time to myself - or being exhausted when I do. And I really want to do this husband/father thing right, and compensating for my many shortcomings takes a lot of energy

So while I have succesfully quit smoking (defined as not smoking for at least 3 months) at least thrice in the last years, I always start again on bad days (as a f*ck you to the world) or on very good days (a f*ck you as the king of the world).

Not rational at all, but there it is.

edit: born in 1981

Born in '83, and if anything, this entire "I want to learn to draw and make a comic before I die" thing is almost unquestionably, in part, a mid-life crisis thing.

My job pays well, but it gives me zero personal satisfaction or fulfillment. And there's so much more I wanna do, or at least try to do and fail.

(Not ready to quit though, I got loans I gotta get paid.)

Born in 1973. I quit my job last December, and I'm semi-retired now. I've been working out a lot, training a lot, working on a business idea, and lazily looking for something interesting to do work-wise. I do have a sports car - 2017 MX-5 Miata fastback - but I've driven Miatas for most of my life, so I don't think that counts. My kid is grown and has his own family (technically I'm a grandfather).

Honestly, I've never been more at peace or felt better in my life, so it's not exactly a crisis - more of a crossroads maybe?


I've developed a healthy obsession with mountain bikes. I can't buy what I want to yet but between fixing up a used hardtail and buying a new bike for the 10 year old, I'm already rapidly approaching 2k, which is still chump change for the hobby.

I hoping to complete an XC race for my half century celebration, next summer.

One interesting side effect of mtbs and finishing Elden Ring, is that my desire to play any games at all is zero, first time that's happened for this long of a period since I got a 2600.


Like Jonman, I too drive a WRX.. that being said, its the same WRX I bought 18 (!) years ago so maybe that doesn't count.

Learned to fly and got my Private Pilots Certificate, so now I want to buy a plane General Aviation + Bay Area tech-dom makes for a very ridiculous demographic I prefer not to associate with... but it is kinda fun to have someone basically say "yeah you can borrow my plane for the weekend". The entire crowd screams mid-life crisis.

Have a good job that pays well in an industry I love and that is probably the true "luxury" that I have. Also a DINK household, so I am able to continue to pursue my passions for as long as my wife allows me to Can get on a plane in the middle of a school week to go watch Cal lose to someone on the road without worrying who will take the kids to school.

Hot, unpopular take: mid-life crisises are often usually ascribed/stereotyped to certain types of men, and are a flip side to the lies that society and capitalism tells men what they're supposed to expect, and are presumably due, but don't usually realistically receive...though many end up finding the means later in life. It's often an act of resistance (unfortunately sometimes to the detriment of spouses or partners). I feel like the oft-stereotyped behaviour is cut from the same cloth of dissatisfaction and frustration that lure younger men into things like pickup-artistry and sigma/alpha/beta culture. It got an awkward air of desperation and time's-a-running-out energy as a phrase and concept.

I've jokingly referred to my own recent independence and radicalization as a mid-life crisis, however not a term I take seriously. It's often aligned as a net-negative and most of what I've seen here is usually net positive. What I see is people coming into their own, comfortable with who they are and what they're doing, and that's more than just a mid-life crisis. It makes me happy to see. Thanks for sharing everyone.

I’m 46. No midlife crisis here. Just a very gradual slide into ever-increasing nostalgic thoughts of the past, boredom in the present, and dread for the future. I can see how a midlife crisis would emerge as a way to combat these feelings, but I’m too lazy and risk averse to do anything different (tired and responsible, if you want to put it more charitably). I’ll stick with my old Toyota Camry and playing video games at night after work.

I was born in 1971, so I'm fifty-one.

I agree with Tasty Pudding about mid-life crises being expressions of existential angst; angst brought about a feeling of stagnation, a sense of unfinished business, and nagging regrets about roads not taken.

I see time, and its passing everywhere I look:

In my own face, and in the faces of others (police officers and doctors are getting younger!)

In my inability to immediately understand how to operate new devices (I never used to have to read the instructions more than once).

In the realisation that I have no idea who is 'Top of the Pops' anymore (I watched highlights of the Wireless Festival last weekend, and had only heard of two of the performers).

In the stories my peers tell me about their children (How can Jenny be going to university already?)

In the aches and pains I feel every morning.

The time allotted to me is running out, and when it is gone, then I will be gone. I think about this a lot, so I wonder whether there is more to life. I suspect that, in a few more years, this angst - this restlessness - will fade and something approaching contentment will take its place.

But, in the meantime:

Yes, I bought a (second-hand) sports car at one point.
Yes, my loft is now a graveyard of abandoned hobbies (guitars and golf clubs lie up there gathering dust, and I would not be surprised if Amazon brought a potter's wheel to my house at some point).
Yes, I had a brief relationship with a younger (40) woman.
Yes, I've thrown myself back into competitive sport (American football), and injured myself as an immediate and direct consequence.
Yes, I've become obsessed with growing the perfect lawn, while beginning to see general gardening not only as an acceptable weekend activity, but a positively desirable one.

I expect I will be volunteering for something very soon...

Born in 1979 and I hate all my life decisions and I am impatiently waiting for the sweet release of death.

1974. Owned the same sports car for much of my life. It sits on a battery tender for most of the year.

I had an unusual international, third culture childhood. Now, I'm very settled in a second tier American city, raising my kids and growing fruit trees and keeping bees. Parts of my childhood were really hard, but I sometimes regret that my kids aren't able to experience the world as I did.

And, how should I put this? Both my wife and I were the kind of kids who were constantly hearing the message, "You're going to accomplish SO much. You're going to be IMPORTANT." We were the kind of kids who the adults around us had identified as the kids who were going to DO something and BE somebody. And, we were both given lots of opportunities and privileges. Society invested in us. We started out our careers on the path of service and influence. And then, in large part because of our goals of family and children, we turned our back on those paths. Now we have very quiet and comfortable lives.

But, it's hard not to wonder about paths not taken.

Eh, I'll jump in. I'm 52, born in 1970, and I actually have a date scheduled for my mid-life crisis; it's 44 days from today. Why? Well, my baby girl turns 18 on September 2, and she goes off to college on September 3, because sometimes the world is obnoxiously symbolic, you know?

I always kind of assumed I'd have kids growing up but never really thought much about it, and, when my wife and I started trying, it was very difficult; we went through three miscarriages, and it just gutted us for several years. When my son came along it put that trauma to rest, and I have a long story about us getting our amnio results from our high-risk specialist for kid #2 and arranging that they would call us with good/bad news (it was good), and us leaving the envelope from the lab on the counter all weekend long until house guests left, and us going out to dinner and leaving it on the table between us until dessert. Seeing the words "normal female karotype" is legitimately the singly best moment of my entire life, because it just kind of closed that loop, and my daughter has been my mini-me for all these years. She has my sense of humor, we hang out all the time, she's gotten into lots of my hobbies, and, even as a teenager, I've had four or so hours with her every week as we watch Critical Role.

Nothing in my life has ever come so naturally as being a dad; it has just fit, and it's been weirdly effortless for me. We haven't hovered and gave them loads of space, and they more or less raised themselves into incredibly capable, independent, self-motivated young adults, and my son took a gap COVID year before college and got his first job, and they made him a manager four months later, and my daughter got a great scholarship to go off to pursue her hardcore biochemistry love, and she wants to get a Ph.D. and be a researcher. Really feel like a lot of that happened because we found a balance between being there for them and staying the hell out of the way, and they're great.

That being said . . . I have absolutely no idea who I am anymore without being around my kids. They're people I joke with and talk to and we have great relationships, and there are just so many tiny little details that I spend time or mental energy on every day, and I have the giant, existential WHO THE HELL AM I thing staring me down in a month and a half, and I'm going to have to figure out how to reboot my life a bit and find things to do and think about. I have a good job I enjoy, a comfortable life, and plenty of hobbies I spend some time on, but those little daily interactions with my children have provided such an endless series of mini-moments of joy and happiness that I don't know how I'll be able to wean myself off that.

So, you know, 44 days. And, yes, I've been counting each one down for quite a while now.