Earth is destroyed. One scrap of paper remains...

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This is the sort of conversation that I would often have with my friends as a child, and I'm relieved to disover that I still find them interesting now.

Earth is destroyed, radioactive ash. Years later, an alien race discovers a scrap of paper in space that has miraculously survived the planetary destruction. Assuming you were the human that wrote the note on the scrap moments before the global cataclysm, what would you like it to say? Assume that this is the one thing that the aliens will read about humanity, and also assume that they can translate whatver sentence you write regardless of the language (pictograms are fine too. )

I think this is the one I thought of when I was 8, and decided to reconstruct it by dangerously burning scraps of paper by candlelight and using my 8 year old Mustek scanner to capture it. I was torn between this:

IMAGE(http://www.pucemoose.com/temporary/t1.jpg)

and simply

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."

simply because it took me almost two decades to finally understand it.

"Nobody's home now, call back later."

Nothing personal but I think it's pretty funny it took you two decades to understand it.

We Tried is pretty damn good I have to say. Especially as an 8-year-old.

The challenge here is not what YOU want to say, but what you want the whole world to have said.

I've been sitting here with my wife trying hard to top it, and I just don't think we can. There might be FUNNIER things to say, but WE TRIED... I mean... crap.

rabbit wrote:
...crap.

Oooh! That's a good one too!

"Printed on Recycled Paper"

"$0.50 Off Cherry Flavored Prophylactics at Participating Locations."

"42"

"I voted for the other guy"

"Bout friggin' time!"

"I've discovered the fundamental secret of the universe, but this scrap of paper is too small to write it on."

"For a good time, call 867-5309."

"ZEPPELIN RULEZ"

"U turn"

"That wasn't chicken."

Serious answer: "To those I harmed, I apologize. To those who harmed me, I forgive you. To those I love, it will never end."

Semi-serious answer: "I shouldn't have had a corn dog for lunch."

Very much not serious answer: "IHADABIGPEEPEE"

"F*CKIN' REMMY!"

[edit] - "Very much not serious answer: "IHADABIGPEEPEE"" The change in tense made me lol...

"Do NOT press the red button"

"If you can read this, you're space travelling too close"

"You're the first intelligent life on this planet...except the dolphins."

Unless

"You and I wear the dangerous looseness of doom and find it becoming. Life, for eternal us, is now and now is a little bit too busy being everything to be anything, catastrophic included." -- e.e. cummings "An Introduction" to Collected Poems 1920-1923

I've carried that one with me for a long time, and I would like to give it to the aliens... Whoever they are.

Rubb Ed wrote:
Semi-serious answer: "I shouldn't have had a corn dog for lunch."

How is that semi-serious?

Semi-serious in the sense of "Well, this is kind of a silly thing to write down, but it would suck to have this be my last meal ever."

The paper should have the same thing I left in ColdForged's car when I stole his iPod.

Pound pastrami, can kraut, six bagels--bring home for Emma.

Fletcher wrote:
Pound pastrami, can kraut, six bagels--bring home for Emma.

Can't believe it took 18 posts for someone to do it.

Chumpy_McChump wrote:
"For a good time, call 867-5309."

"boobies"

thewanderer14 wrote:
"You and I wear the dangerous looseness of doom and find it becoming. Life, for eternal us, is now and now is a little bit too busy being everything to be anything, catastrophic included." -- e.e. cummings "An Introduction" to Collected Poems 1920-1923

I've carried that one with me for a long time, and I would like to give it to the aliens... Whoever they are.

I've not read that before. I like it quite a lot.

Quintin_Stone wrote:
The paper should have the same thing I left in ColdForged's car when I stole his iPod.

What did you write?

Morrolan wrote:
Fletcher wrote:
Pound pastrami, can kraut, six bagels--bring home for Emma.

Can't believe it took 18 posts for someone to do it. :)

Enlighten the sleepy college kid.

"Too Annoying To Live"

Totally stolen but still makes me laugh.

"Bush for president 2040"

Remember Man as you go by
As you are now so once was I
As I am now so shall you be,
Prepare yourself to follow me

Or

All your base are belong to us

-"I spat on the corner of this paper, clone me from it"
-"You're Next"

Damn you, Bear. That was mine!

Instead I'll offer, "It's just as well, we'd have tried to conquer you anyway."

"Thank goodness no one would be foolish enough to use a weapon of such insanely destructive potential!"

"Khaaaaaan!"

"Under no circumstances call out Chuck Norris."

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