Is anyone happy in their marriage? Is it worth it?

So, how's everyone doing these days?

This strikes me as remarkably poor timing, Mex

That's a hell of a Necro. Anyway, I've been married a little over 6 years now. Things aren't perfect(but what is, honestly), but on the whole, still happy with the being married part. I just wish the anxiety and PTSD and depression would all f*ck off so I could enjoy it more.

Farscry wrote:

This strikes me as remarkably poor timing, Mex

Umm, serious? Why? I guess I missed something... I skimmed some of the latest topics but dunno.

I'd delete it but I can't see how... Anyway, I was just wondering about this thread, been thinking about it lately. Sorry if I f*cked up, feel free to tell Certis to close it or anything.

edit: Ohhh, it's the "Dealing with divorce" thread, I just saw it : p I'm not keeping up with the forums apparently.

Been married about 8. It isn't perfect and I think we drive each other crazy, but we also keep each other sane. My life is better for having her in it and I hope she feels the same.

SallyNasty wrote:

Been married about 8. It isn't perfect and I think we drive each other crazy, but we also keep each other sane. My life is better for having her in it and I hope she feels the same.

This, even the length. Why do people keep calling me Sally Durden?

My wife and I have been together for 10 years on November 4th and married for 4.5 years. We are quite happy. The relationship has changed over the years and luckily I have a very understanding wife. We has an awesome marriage prep councilor that looked at our personalities and current state of relationship before marriage and gave some great advice. #1 was him telling my wife I needed at least some time alone every night to refocus. We both have our own projects and hobbies, but always seem to come back to gravitate to one another in our house. When I am away on backpacking adventures or away at conferences I am always reminded of how happy she is in my life.

1. Why'd you get married? Was it hormonal, an accident, do you believe in true love(tm)?

I met my beautiful wife on the rebound from the hottest girl I have ever dated (and a total bitch) It didn't start with any kind of spark I was used to but started with a genuine feeling of fondness for her. I grew to love her quickly but if I am being honest, it took years to "fall in love". She says I was the first person she ever fell in love with.

2. How long have you been at it?

20 years. We are both now deeply in love.

3. Has it been worth it? Is your life over now that you got married?

Yes and absolutely not. With are 4 kids (one with severe autism) and the military post-9-11 we have seen plenty of challenges. We have grown through it and experienced a ton of unique experiences together.

Edit: Sneak question, because I'm just so curious - When she's pregnant... Like... How long do you have to go without sex? Is it true you have to spend a month without sex after she gives birth?

Pregnant women love sex, that is rarely an issue. If you are nice and thinking of her, you will wait 6 weeks depending on how roughly the birth went.

Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
SallyNasty wrote:

Been married about 8. It isn't perfect and I think we drive each other crazy, but we also keep each other sane. My life is better for having her in it and I hope she feels the same.

This, even the length. Why do people keep calling me Sally Durden?

Because 'Batman' was already taken?

MisterStatic wrote:

Edit: Sneak question, because I'm just so curious - When she's pregnant... Like... How long do you have to go without sex? Is it true you have to spend a month without sex after she gives birth?

Pregnant women love sex, that is rarely an issue. If you are nice and thinking of her, you will wait 6 weeks depending on how roughly the birth went.

Note: this is about as far from a general statement as it can get.

Chumpy_McChump wrote:
Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
SallyNasty wrote:

Been married about 8. It isn't perfect and I think we drive each other crazy, but we also keep each other sane. My life is better for having her in it and I hope she feels the same.

This, even the length. Why do people keep calling me Sally Durden?

Because 'Batman' was already taken? ;)

Words can hurt, Chumpy. You're on the list.

19 years together, 10 years married. We're great together.

I think we just had our 12th anniversary, and we've been together (living together) for I think seven more years. So coming up on two decades, ever since the first year of high school. Been a lot of challenges, growing up and looking for yourself through all that, but I've been steadily getting happier by the year. I am genuinely looking forward to getting old together (we're both in our mid-30s). If we ever fell through, I can't see myself being with anybody else.

We hit 10 next June, things are great. Sex 3+ times a week, someone to talk to and share my life. It's great.

18 years married, but living together for 4 years before that. Number one rule is that we don't go to bed mad or arguing.

15 years together, 12 years married. We're a good team in that we cover each other's blind spots, bad habits and insanities, and we make one part-functional sane person when we're together.

Five years married and nearly 13 years together.

Rubb Ed and I are still giddy over each other. We are best friends and soul mates.

6 years of marriage, 10 years together and it's spectacular. We're always pushing each other to succeed and we're always a team. I never imagined I would have the great life I have now and that's definitely because of who I married.

5 years married, another 3 years together.

15 years married. 17 years together.

My wife and I celebrate our 7th anniversary this month.

Just got married in July after a relatively short time together. Great for each other. Some rocky moments because out work and future plans are incredibly stressful. Never mad at each other for long and always supporting each other.

Marriage isn't for everyone. It's about being with someone that makes you a better person for the rest of your life.

Seven years together, four of them married.

As of this writing, I'd like to kill him because his nose is whistling and it's very annoying and I am trying to watch Prometheus (which is also very annoying). But that's the lovely thing about us; we've got the big stuff sorted out, and only drive each other mad over the small stupid things (and not all the time).

Plus, I feel ok about my petty loathe of his whistley nose because he'd like to set fire to all the books and crafty things I've left all over the table (again).

To answer the OP:

1. Why'd you get married? Was it hormonal, an accident, do you believe in true love(tm)?

You know, I'm not entirely sure. We just..did. Doing taxes is easier though. And no, I don't believe in True Love(tm), or Soul Mates, or The One. I believe in me and Kepheus and what we have right now. It could change, and if it does, we'll deal with it then.

2. How long have you been at it?

See above.

3. Has it been worth it? Is your life over now that you got married?

Overall, it's been worth it. I like living with him (mostly), and of all the people I care to spend any serious amount of time with regularly, he's one of the ones I don't want to kill all that often.

I sometimes miss living on my own and answering only to myself and eating popcorn for dinner, but not all that much; not enough to go back to it. We agreed before we got married that it wasn't about marriage making us one (we are not Borg, and marriage is pretty much like when we weren't married, except that now we are). And neither of us subscribe to the whole "I married my best friend" thing. He is one of my best friends, but he's not my whole world. I have interests that he couldn't care less about. He has his own things too. We have mutual friends, but some of them are more mine than his, and some are more his than mine. I talk to my friends about things we don't talk about because he doesn't care much for the subject matter. And I'm ok with that, it's why I have those other friends. I support him fully in making himself happy; he does the same for me - and we both do pretty much as we like so long as it's not at the expense of the other person's happiness or well-being.

We have a good understanding of each other's strengths and weaknesses. We're good at talking things over together. He makes me laugh (quite a lot, it's one of the sexiest things about him in my opinion). We want very similar things. We agree on the big stuff (kids, money, religion...).

I suppose this sounds all very unromantic and more like a business arrangement, but honestly, it's good. It works. It's a simple as anything can be when it involves human beings.

1. Why'd you get married? Was it hormonal, an accident, do you believe in true love(tm)?

We don't believe in true love. That's some hippy dippy foo-foo crap. Not hormonal or accidental - we lived in different countries. We were in the same WoW guild, didn't really like each-other during that time. Met at Pax'06 and realized the other person was actually okay. We bonded when my sister scary-drove us to a restaurant and veered across some lanes of traffic and I screamed and he held my hand. We ditched the game and the guild (creepy stalkers, weird drama, f'that bullsh*t) and went and played FPS's together and trolled pubbies. Well, I trolled pubbies, he just played excellently.

We are pretty different but we share similar values and outlooks so it's all good. We see the same big picture. We just fit. But we lived approximately 3 hours apart on different side of a country border. We came to the conclusion that we were getting married at some point during a +/- 5-hour border lineup wait and it's been pretty sweet ever since.
2. How long have you been at it?

Hrm...I had to ask him because living in two separate countries and getting married and living separately has messed up my timeline. So we've been "together" for about 7 years and married 4 of them.

3. Has it been worth it? Is your life over now that you got married?

Totally worth it. Got me into Canada! J/k, that was pleasantly coincidental. Life isn't over. We were both gamers and shut-ins and me a workaholic before, and none of that has changed so it's all good. We have a parrot together! That's about the extent of our responsibilities as adult married people. The going out part is more hindered by my complete lack of work/life balance than the marriage part.

Edit: this sounds pretty flip but we make out all the time and cuddle and do sweet little things for each-other like surprise dinner, "lets go have shower sex," and send each-other pictures of cute animals. We're not "passionately" in love like it was in the beginning - it's more subtle and casual and still deeper and more complex than it used to be. Some tension and bad stuff from time to time, but that all passes and overall I'm glad we're happening.

Seven years married, plus three six years for time served. I have a thing for fiery red-heads so I knew damn well what i was getting into. She's brilliant, unyielding, and right much of the time. We have two daughters who are just as amazing as their mother. I'm so doomed, and quite happy about the situation. She's also 10 years younger than I am so she also counts as my midlife crisis solution. Key life goals? Done! and Done!

Edit:

Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
SallyNasty wrote:

Been married about 8. It isn't perfect and I think we drive each other crazy, but we also keep each other sane. My life is better for having her in it and I hope she feels the same.

This, even the length. Why do people keep calling me Sally Durden?

I've been calling you Robin.

Quintin_Stone wrote:
Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
SallyNasty wrote:

Been married about 8. It isn't perfect and I think we drive each other crazy, but we also keep each other sane. My life is better for having her in it and I hope she feels the same.

This, even the length. Why do people keep calling me Sally Durden?

I've been calling you Robin.

I will never be you. I can accept that.

Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
Quintin_Stone wrote:
Bonus_Eruptus wrote:
SallyNasty wrote:

Been married about 8. It isn't perfect and I think we drive each other crazy, but we also keep each other sane. My life is better for having her in it and I hope she feels the same.

This, even the length. Why do people keep calling me Sally Durden?

I've been calling you Robin.

I will never be you. I can accept that.

In January, we will have been married for 8 years. Together for 8 years and 5 months. 2 kids: 4 year old boy, 1 year old girl.

I'm happy but could easily have been just as happy if I hadn't gotten married and stayed single. Different kind of happiness. Chocolate and Pizza are both delicious but in completely different ways. Sometimes I enjoy sharing chocolate with my family. My son's expression on his face as he puts the chocolate into the mouth on his face is great. Likewise, hamfisting down hot pizza in a drunken stupor while that nights' hookup sleeps it off in an apartment that smells like sex had a certain deliciousness to it as well.

1. Why'd you get married? Was it hormonal, an accident, do you believe in true love(tm)?

I got married because my wife and I gelled on several levels while we were dating, with one of the biggest being emotional. With my wife, I have a best friend, lover, and co-conspirator in life.

2. How long have you been at it?

5 years, dated for less than 1 year before I proposed.

3. Has it been worth it? Is your life over now that you got married?

Absolutely worth it, and hell no my life is not over. My life has taken a different turn, which has changed a lot of my priorities. My Gamer life has taken a downturn, but to me it's completely worth it. To give an example, my 3 year old thought I wouldn't have enough for lunch today, so he woke up early, put his last tootsie-pop in my jacket pocket and said "Lunch, Daddy!" with the serious 3 year old face. No game to date has give me a warm feeling even remotely close to that, or the anger that he can evoke when he tells me no and refuses to eat, or even the absolute terror and helplessness when I realized I couldn't do anything but trust people with his life last year. So, different, not over.