Is anyone happy in their marriage? Is it worth it?

Mex wrote:
Brennil wrote:

You talk like someone who has never been in love. Things look different from the other side.

Hell, I fall in love every week =)

Nope, you have a crush every week. Big difference.

How old are you Mex? If under 25 I wouldn't even worry about marriage.

Demosthenes wrote:
LobsterMobster wrote:

I'm single, and extremely unhappy. I don't know if that applies.

True dat!

Me three?

Another happily married GWJer here. We married people like to complain about being married, but it's more like an inside joke. Once you're married it's really not bad at all like TV wants you to believe.

1. Why'd you get married? Was it hormonal, an accident, do you believe in true love(tm)?

We'd been dating for about four years when I proposed. Got married for love, still together because of it.

2. How long have you been at it?

Just over three years now.

3. Has it been worth it? Is your life over now that you got married?

Definately worth it. My wife and I have really become more independant from each other over the years. We both have our own lives that we basically ignored when we were dating. Once we got comfortable with each other after being married we've gotten comfortable being individuals. So, my life is definately not over.

We've also started talking seriously about having kids. We've talked about it a lot and have both decided until now that we're way too selfish to have kids. We both like having our time to do our own thing and when we have a kid that'll all go away. Our thinking has recently changed and we're now of the opinion that we'll never be ready so we may as well just do it.

Edwin wrote:
Demosthenes wrote:
LobsterMobster wrote:

I'm single, and extremely unhappy. I don't know if that applies.

True dat!

Me three?

I don't know if it's implied by you fellas, but 24 years of singledom has taught me one thing: happiness has got absolutely nothing to do with being single or not. I've been miserable some time ago, partly blaming that on being single - so I've been there. Right now I'm at a never-been-happier point in my life. And for the record: I'm not one to f*ck around, that's not me. That's not what I meant by being single. In this context at least

Elysium wrote:

I like the formality of it. The commitment of it. You have to stand in front of everyone you know, and stand up for the things you believe in, and say, "this one. This one, right here. I choose her."

This reminds me of a wedding I went to. Both bride and groom's vows contained the lines "I choose you."

Which is funny if you've ever seen a Pokemon cartoon.

Quintin_Stone wrote:
Elysium wrote:

I like the formality of it. The commitment of it. You have to stand in front of everyone you know, and stand up for the things you believe in, and say, "this one. This one, right here. I choose her."

This reminds me of a wedding I went to. Both bride and groom's vows contained the lines "I choo-choo-chose you."

Which is funny if you've ever seen a Pokemon cartoon.

Fixed it for you.

Oldman, if you're going to fix it, you have to fix the cartoon reference for the line you changed... duh... but you're old, so I forgive you.

Anyway, I stopped thinking that having a girlfriend and being happy were only possible together. Doesn't mean I'm not unhappy with my romantic life, just means I'm happy and unhappy with life on my own terms for now.

Demosthenes wrote:

Oldman, if you're going to fix it, you have to fix the cartoon reference for the line you changed... duh... but you're old, so I forgive you.

Anyway, I stopped thinking that having a girlfriend and being happy were only possible together. Doesn't mean I'm not unhappy with my romantic life, just means I'm happy and unhappy with life on my own terms for now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, why are you posting in a thread about marriage anyway?

Definately worth it. My wife and I have really become more independant from each other over the years. We both have our own lives that we basically ignored when we were dating. Once we got comfortable with each other after being married we've gotten comfortable being individuals. So, my life is definately not over.

That's a really good point, the moment Karla and I moved in together we seemed to have a lot more time to do our own thing and follow our hobbies. I guess all that time spent matching schedules and travelling to each other's place and doing dating "activities" took up more than I thought

Elysium FTW.

Getting married was probably the best thing I've ever done. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it.

oldmanscene24 wrote:
Demosthenes wrote:

Oldman, if you're going to fix it, you have to fix the cartoon reference for the line you changed... duh... but you're old, so I forgive you.

Anyway, I stopped thinking that having a girlfriend and being happy were only possible together. Doesn't mean I'm not unhappy with my romantic life, just means I'm happy and unhappy with life on my own terms for now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, why are you posting in a thread about marriage anyway? :P

Oh damn, who knew such an old man could bite so hard with his false teeth?

Certis wrote:
Definately worth it. My wife and I have really become more independant from each other over the years. We both have our own lives that we basically ignored when we were dating. Once we got comfortable with each other after being married we've gotten comfortable being individuals. So, my life is definately not over.

That's a really good point, the moment Karla and I moved in together we seemed to have a lot more time to do our own thing and follow our hobbies. I guess all that time spent matching schedules and travelling to each other's place and doing dating "activities" took up more than I thought ;)

That is a reassuring insight. I'm honestly concerned that if I get married before I complete my list of games, then I'll never get to all of them.

Demosthenes wrote:

Oh damn, who knew such an old man could bite so hard with his false teeth? :D

You'd better watch yourself, son. My walker doubles as a mech.

Mex wrote:

Wow. Seriously, I want to hear some stories.
1. Why'd you get married? Was it hormonal, an accident, do you believe in true love(tm)?

Can you *accidently* get married? I mean, you'd think at some point, someone would notice the priest, or the rabbi, or the whatever standing around with a book, and both sets of mothers casting aspersions on the other one's choice of dress. I'm just saying.

The Duck proposed to me on our first date. And I said yes. It still makes me smile to think about that night. It was magic. Everything the romantics imagine, everything the philosophers dream; the universe sang and we were part of the music. The night I met him was the best thing, up to that point, that had ever happened to me.

The only thing that makes me consider the theory of "intelligent design" is the thought that somewhere out there, the gods thought "Hey! You know what might be fun? Let's put these two together!"

Mex wrote:

2. How long have you been at it?

I'm bad at dates, my sister remembers my anniversary for me, bless her heart, but I think we're rounding the corner on ten years now.

Mex wrote:

3. Has it been worth it? Is your life over now that you got married?

Absolutely worth it. Life over? Oh, dear lord, no. I mean, granted, I don't go out hunting with the girls anymore. That seems only fair. And pretty much the only time I wear thigh-high boots and a scrap of fabric that purports to be a "dress" is when we're home alone and the Duckling is tucked in for the night.

But I still wear my tiara to the grocery store. So, life hasn't changed too much.

Demiurge wrote:

We're in an environment right now where if you're 21 and not married, you're some sort of failure.

The 1950s?

Demosthenes wrote:
oldmanscene24 wrote:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, why are you posting in a thread about marriage anyway? :P

Oh damn, who knew such an old man could bite so hard with his false teeth? :D

*raises hand*

Fletcher wrote:
Demosthenes wrote:
oldmanscene24 wrote:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, why are you posting in a thread about marriage anyway? :P

Oh damn, who knew such an old man could bite so hard with his false teeth? :D

*raises hand*

Alright now, you know that I never bit you. Biting is a tactic only employed by people that are losing a fight.

Garrad wrote:

We have been together this Feb, 18 years... married 13.

As of this year I have spent more of my life with her than without. We have had 3 boys together.

That would mean that you're 35 and married at 17. Your eldest boy must be 10-16 years old already. Wow.

Demiurge wrote:

My long-term girlfriend and I actually hope to never marry, but we're atypical I guess. We're in an environment right now where if you're 21 and not married, you're some sort of failure. It's possible we're just rebelling against that.

Sounds like USSR... or China ?. My parents married at 21. Also Russian immigrant girls still are getting married at 21 here in California... only apparently to older men.

As long as we're in a happy cuddly marriage (the ultimate LTR) thread, I want to ask a question. I'm currently in something that matches a relationship by all its symptoms, but I can't bring myself to imagine it as a truly serious, lasting relationship.

She isn't into games at all. When I brought over a Nintendo DS she grinned and said that her 8 year old cousin has one. Her favorite and only games are "Robot finds kitten" and "Mortal Kombat", and she just doesn't play that often at all.

Now that I'm writing about it it seems kinda petty and silly to pick on this one trait, but computer games and their appreciation and analysis (and eventually, creation of ) are one of my core passions. She does share my other core interest - collection of DVDs, affinity for Star Trek and movies written by Whedon, but this is one that she doesn't. Our movie tastes aren't an exact match, but there are a few crosssections. I'm usually more receptive to watching her movies than she's willing to watch mine.

I'm just wondering how many of you happy marriage folks on GWJ actually have a SO who [i]doesn't care for games[/i]. Is it possible ? I'm pretty sure there was a poll about this somewhere down the line...

Its just when I think of a soulmate, I think... when I make my own crappy Fallout-inspired game, I want this person to be able to appreciate what I put into it... maybe even help me with game balances, dialogue, plot, to really be there with me. I don't want it to be a distanced hobby that she doesn't really understand. I don't want to be alone in this my entire life, like I've been before.

Is that petty ? This relationship stuff is so complicated. My ex had no interest for things like Star Trek at all, this girl does. She's closer to my height and smarter than my ex. She understands me better. However another deal breaker is that she smokes cigarettes. Should I be thankful and just shut up and quit thinking about games and cigarettes ?

Sigh. When do we know when to stop looking for greener pastures ? What is the definitive sign ? Where's the line between "oh sh*t, I shouldn't have stopped looking for a closer match" and "oh sh*t I didn't appreciate what I had, now its too late" ?

shihonage wrote:

How do I know when it's love?

Van Halen wrote:

I can't tell you, but it lasts forever.

shihonage wrote:

How does it feel when it's love?

Van Halen wrote:

It's just something you feel together. Ohhh.

1. Why'd you get married? Was it hormonal, an accident, do you believe in true love(tm)?
Yes, I believe in true love. We married because we wanted to. Ro says it's because I can cook and I have his back He makes a mean omlet and has my back too Friends first lovers second is the best way to go imo

2. How long have you been at it?

Met '83: dating '87 maybe '88: married '91 15 years this Halloween. First time i saw him was in '81 and I couldn't stop staring. I was too bashful to go up and say hi. We met thru mutual friends.

3. Has it been worth it? Is your life over now that you got married?

Absolutely! Life is never over, you do the same things with the same people and with new friends that you make. You can't be quite as spontaneous when you have kids. Babysitters require some planning.

Edit: Sneak question, because I'm just so curious - When she's pregnant... Like... How long do you have to go without sex? Is it true you have to spend a month without sex after she gives birth?

You can have sex upto the time she gives birth. It actually helps start the process if she is late. Bet you didn't know that Happened to a friend of mine.
Yes, you have to wait a month. The ligaments in the pelvis are so loose you can actually hurt her.

If you want a really good story ask me about the wedding

shihonage wrote:

I'm just wondering how many of you happy marriage folks on GWJ actually have a SO who [i]doesn't care for games[/i]. Is it possible ?

It is possible. My wife doesn't play many games at all, and I don't view it as a problem at all. I've always though that no two people will sync up perfectly in interests, and in this particular hobby I'm fine going elsewhere for my discussion fix.

That being said, if it bothers you now, it's likely to bother you later. If gaming is really important to you (and it sounds like it is) then I wouldn't blame you for seeking out someone that shared your passion.

I'm just wondering how many of you happy marriage folks on GWJ actually have a SO who doesn't care for games. Is it possible ? I'm pretty sure there was a poll about this somewhere down the line...

Elysia doesn't care about games as a general rule, and it's never presented a problem. The problem comes if they don't respect your interests enough to be supportive/sympathetic/understanding/etc. She understands that these silly games are important to me, and that's enough.

Fletcher wrote:
shihonage wrote:

How do I know when it's love?

Van Halen wrote:

I can't tell you, but it lasts forever.

shihonage wrote:

How does it feel when it's love?

Van Halen wrote:

It's just something you feel together. Ohhh.

Fletcher, with a pcoket full of Van Halen Lyrics, for the win.

Kiri wrote:

Yes, you have to wait a month. The ligaments in the pelvis are so loose you can actually hurt her.

If you want a really good story ask me about the wedding

Ok, I'll bite. Did you have loose pelvis ligaments at your wedding?

Fletcher wrote:
shihonage wrote:

How do I know when it's love?

Van Halen wrote:

I can't tell you, but it lasts forever.

shihonage wrote:

How does it feel when it's love?

Van Halen wrote:

It's just something you feel together. Ohhh.

This is pure gold.

dejanzie wrote:
Kiri wrote:

Yes, you have to wait a month. The ligaments in the pelvis are so loose you can actually hurt her.

If you want a really good story ask me about the wedding

Ok, I'll bite. Did you have loose pelvis ligaments at your wedding?

Doctors recommend waiting two monthes before biting pelvis ligaments.

No. We got married on Halloween in costume at the courthouse for fun. Went to a fancy sandwich bar for the reception and then spent the night party hopping dressed as a tired newlyweds.

shihonage wrote:

I'm just wondering how many of you happy marriage folks on GWJ actually have a SO who [i]doesn't care for games[/i]. Is it possible ? I'm pretty sure there was a poll about this somewhere down the line...

It's possible and she had a hearty chuckle when I read your question out loud. Actually, she then stated it was definitely possible, I expressed shock and dismay, she mocked me, then I took off my wedding ring and pretended to slam it down on the desk. It was only when I pretended to throw it across the room that she stated I'd taken it too far. IMAGE(http://www.rps.net/QS/Images/Smilies/angel.gif)

shihonage wrote:

I'm just wondering how many of you happy marriage folks on GWJ actually have a SO who [i]doesn't care for games[/i]. Is it possible ? I'm pretty sure there was a poll about this somewhere down the line...

My wife doesn't really care for games, other than an occasional bout of Bejeweled when she's bored. She's very tolerant of my gaming habits, though (except for constantly ridiculing me if I try to use TeamSpeak while playing EQ2). Even though we have a baby that demands that I only play pausable games, I can occasionally get away with an online match, raid, etc--"Hey, I have an online thing tomorrow from 2-4, cool?" "Yep. You just watch him tomorrow night while I watch ." Works out great:)