Swaydora's Box - My Terrifying Find in the Attic

"Nei" wrote:

Sway, ok... why don''t you just get a gun and shot the box.......

This actually isn''t a bad idea...However you''ll need lots of bullets, lots of silver, garlic-flavored-holy water soaked MAGIC bullets...

Ok, plan B...

Some of the co-workers brought their kids to the office, and due me being the youngest in the company, I got stuck entertaining them... So I was successful at convincing them that I was GOD! Plan is I will send my new found worshipers to open the box. It''s a safe plan, no matter how evil the stuff in the box is, it would not hurt children... two, its cheap labor, and easy to transport (...fit into most luggage compartments.)
Sway what do you think?

"Sway" wrote:

That and I still don''t have a ladder.

I got a ladder for Christmas, now what''s your address?

Open the box you bloody pansy.


Tobyus can provide the ladder, my friend and I will provide the
firepower, and I''ll waive the fee in this case. Even if my head
does not melt down to the shoulders.

Theres nothing, ah, *beyond* the box, as viewed from the
ceiling underneath, that''s...fragile, right? Nothing that could
be hurt by, say, a few 10mm rounds?


Oh, no reason, just asking...

First post:

It''s been 3 months now, and I can''t imagine that he hasn''t opened the box yet. My guess is Sway opened the box way back in September but found nothing exciting inside, and he''s been having a good laugh at all our expense ever since.

But still, the curiosity gnaws at me.

Look at that, Sway; you''re even getting the lurkers to register and post because the curiosity is killing us!

Let me be the first to bid you welcome to the community, MTD. Figure I''d say hi before Pyro and his galloping mutant giant green grinning child-hating penis monster scares you off.

...so quoth the pirate kitten. hrm.

Remember do not look directly at the Ark when it is opened... especially if you are Nazi....

Not sure why that came to mind ;).

Thanks Farscry. I''ve only been lurking for about a week though. As a dad of one year, I''ve lost connection with many of my old mmorpg buddies who have alot more time on their hands than I now do.

Reading these forums has been a big relief that I''m not the only dad who has to play Xbox with the sound way down late at night. Goofing off feels so...naughty now.

Like drinking did at 17.

Current games: Morrowind GOTY Xbox, Anarchy Online, Horizons.

Hello everyone. Where to begin, where to begin...Well, I don''t do well with recollection. Especially, when it comes to something that was discovered well over three months ago. Now that I think about it, I''m not good with recalling what happened yesterday. Anyways, enough about me, let''s discuss this BOX, shall we?

Ok, so there is this coffin sized BOX with cobwebs galore, more dust than I have ever seen, even in the movies, right above where we sleep, in a paneled attic with no floor boards, and nothing really separating us and all it's nefariousness.

Would you really want to open this BOX if it was in your house, above your bed?

Ok, so, maybe I do have a bit of an inkling to open this BOX. I mean it's the first question anyone ever asks me anymore. "Have you opened THE BOX?"" ""When can we open THE BOX?"" "What's going on with THE BOX?". I think that so many people have offered to open THE BOX, that Sway has no desire to share the wealth with all these people. I think he might even open it when I'm not around. Actually no, he won't ever open that BOX. I think it would take way more than daylight, holy water, a few beers, and a gun, to convince Sway to open THE BOX. He's not going to budge, I've tried, you've tried, his co-workers have tried, EVERYONE has tried. But keep trying, I'm quite curious myself, scared mind you, but still curious.

I guess I just really wanted to let you all know THE BOX is still unopened!

the wife

Open the box you bloody pansy.


Frickin classic, my friend! You are a RIOT!

Happy to see you posting Sway''s wife! Consider yourself added to the list of wussies until THE BOX is opened.

Well we just can''t have Swayla left as a mailboy! She is Space Fillers wife for gods sake!

On another note...

Can you hear it? It''s really quite. I think it may be coming from the attic! [size=4]Open"… open the box. Let me out.[/size]

"swayla" wrote:

I think it would take way more than daylight, holy water, a few beers, and a gun, to convince Sway to open THE BOX.

Well, how about this bright shiny QUARTER? Really, Sway, it''s yours for the taking. All you gots to do is show some testosterone...

Yes Certis, but I am a girl, I''m allowed to be a wuss!


FYI, I no longer care what is in the box!

...that is, after Sway will open the box!

You better open it before the weight of it finally cracks the roof above your bed and dumps some unholyness on you during your sleep.

I''m another luker who has been following the ""Swaydora''s Box"" saga.

And while THE BOX may hold an assortment of unsavory body parts or be a portal to the dark side, the positive thinker in me suspects it may actually be a stash of cash from a successful bank heist. And if that''s the case, wouldn''t the Sway family feel bad leaving a treasure trove of that magitude to the next hapless set of souls to inhabit the house? Oh, yes they would.

So get up there, in the bright light of day with your strands of garlic and pointy kitchen utensils held high and open that damn thing up. Reap the riches that are under your nose, or in this case, above your head.

"slambie" wrote:

I''m another luker

Shouldn''t you be getting to Toshi Station to pick up those power converters?

In all seriousness, welcome to the forums!

Well Slambie, I''m a mostly-lurker at the Gone Gold forums once in a while, I''ll consider us even. Welcome to the forums

I think I figured out what''s in the box! Lurkers... and they''re starting to escape.

Thanks for the welcome.

Quite a nice site you guys have here, Certis, despite the agony of not knowing what is in THE BOX.

"slambie" wrote:

Quite a nice site you guys have here, Certis, despite the agony of not knowing what is in THE BOX.

Strangely enough, I find myself wanting to watch the Director''s cut of Se7en again...

Sway & Swayla,

How about starting a pledge drive for a worthy cause, solicit donations (I''m broke though, so don''t come to me), and when the goal is met, videotape the Opening of the Box, and make a quicktime video available for downloading.

This infernal box has been generating some real interest for a while now. My wife even asked me if you''ve opened it, so that''s proof right there.

If we can''t appeal to Sway''s manliness to open the box, maybe we can appeal to Swayla''s sense of Civic Duty!

No donations necessary. Here''s the deal. There are no outlets up there or skylights. I''m working on getting lighting up there first. I''ve also got a line on someone who will probably let me borrow their videocamera. I''ll swing by the Dome Hepot and pick up a ladder. Once I''ve got everything together, I''ll invite some friends over (during the day) and we will open the box. I pledge this on Certis''s hardcore gamer badge.

I ain''t afeared. I ain''t afeared. I ain''t afeared. I ain''t afeared...

I''m working on getting lighting up there first.

Flamethrowers are good. Light and burning death for box-dwelling-monsters in the same handy package. Might want to check your homeowners policy first though.

Homeowners policies are usually cool with the smiting of undead hordes. Just don''t ask them about ""nuclear incidents.""

Flickering candles also work well.

Perhaps a kerosene lamp that is prone to blowing out would suffice too!

A flashlight with near dead batteries?

"fangblackbone" wrote:

A flashlight with near dead batteries?

That''s actually what I took up there the first time. It honestly blinked out about three seconds after its feeble rays first glanced the box. It couldn''t have been any better timed if a Hollywood hack had climbed up there with me.

It couldn''t have been any better timed if a Hollywood hack had climbed up there with me.

First of all, while my parents live in LA its at least 50 minutes to Hollywood. And while I grew up there, I now live in Silicon Valley, for the last 7 years to boot!

Now what exactly do you mean by calling me a hack? In certain circles, thems could be considered fightin words!

I thought you were my friend... I guess all my teamspeak jibber-jabber during EQ and Planetside beta finally struck a sour note!

I believe that we will soon see something very similar to this in Sway''s area. Well, as long as your definition of ""soon"" is loose.

Sway, Sway, Sway... tsk, tsk, tsk.

I mean, I haven''t wandered into the forums for quite some time, so when I wandered in here tonight (''cuz Certis made me feel guilty) I was expecting to see the results of the box.

You''ve truly let me down my friend. I don''t know what to do now, I guess I''ll have to take down all my Sway Posters, art, pictures, map to your house, underwear.. uhhh.. wait.. i have none of that