29 no-nos for gamers over age 30

Just saw this on Joystiq and thought I'd share it with everyone...

29 no-nos for gamers over age 30
Posted Nov 11, 2005, 9:57 AM ET by Vladimir Cole
Related entries: Culture

The ESA says that the average gamer is 30 years old. It's time that those of us who are 30 or older realize that some of the things we grew up doing as gamers are no longer really appropriate, cool, or kosher given our new demographic bucket. Here, then, is a helpful guide to 28 things a gamer should never do past the age of 30.

1. Participate in LAN parties with minors
2. Quit your job to pursue a pro-gaming career
3. Start a Star Wars themed PC case mod in the living room
4. Ever use the jargon OMG, BBQ and WTF together in the same phrase
5. Pirate games - shouldn't you have an income by now?
6. Find the idea of teamkilling funny
7. Choose a female avatar so that you can try to upskirt her
8. Refuse to play games that are rated lower than mature
9. Tea-bag a downed opponent in Halo 2
10. Play any game with Princess Toadstool in it
11. Choose a gamer handle including any form of the words "hell," "killer," "death," or "-inator"
12. Yell "pwnt" in a public virtual space
13. Play a female character in an MMOG in order to troll for "Crying Game" victims
14. Disconnect when losing at Starcraft or any other RTS
15. Ninja loot
16. Get your gaming news from a print publication
17. Replace the letter S with a dollar sign when writing Microsoft, Sony, or PlayStation
18. Live in your parents' basement to support a gaming habit
19. Break mice in a fit of rage after being served in an FPS game
20. Try to win an argument in a gaming forum
21. Pretend that movies like Doom and Tomb Raider are anything but crap
22. Carry softcore anime porn on your PSP to show the guys at work
23. Hadoken someone as a greeting, complete with hand motions and sound effects
24. Play competitively against anyone under the age of 10
25. Read or write fanfiction
26. Yell or type, "Laggg" when losing an online game
27. Bogart the controller
28. Work at GameStop "just for the discount"
29. Type liek JeffK

http://www.joystiq.com/entry/1234000...


9. Tea-bag a downed opponent in Halo 2

Notice it said Halo 2 not BF2. Carry on.

I've done #1 and #10, and don't feel badly about either. Heck, some of my friends have kids that are 17+ and want to play with us. What do I care?

12. Yell "pwnt" in a public virtual space

What about just yelling it in public? Sporting events?

25. Read or write fanfiction

I know some people who would take great offense at that....

....and thus I must show them this list first chance I get

15. Ninja loot

I'm sorry. When did ninja become a verb, and what does it mean as such? (And by asking this, do I automatically put myself in the older-than-30 bucket?)

20. Try to win an argument in a gaming forum

But, I came here for an argument. Well, actually P&C is more for that.

15. Ninja loot
I'm sorry. When did ninja become a verb, and what does it mean as such? (And by asking this, do I automatically put myself in the older-than-30 bucket?)

STFU N000B!!

7. Choose a female avatar so that you can try to upskirt her

Well, in NWN, you spend so long staring at your character, why not make it worth while. After all, there were no stat issues thanks to the new PC environment we live in.

DrunkenSleipnir wrote:
12. Yell "pwnt" in a public virtual space

What about just yelling it in public? Sporting events?

God dammit. Water all over the desk.


1. Participate in LAN parties with minors

Sh*t, how about the child of guy who is running the LAN? Thats adult isn't it?

5. Pirate games - shouldn't you have an income by now?

Tell them to stop putting Starforce on my computer for demo's then more people wouldn't pirate.

tea bag a downed opponent in Halo 2

I did it in CoD last night does that count?

10. Play any game with Princess Toadstool in it

F U Peaches is more 133t that your momma.

11. Choose a gamer handle including any form of the words "hell," "killer," "death," or "-inator"

So -whore is more acceptable? Good.

20. Try to win an argument in a gaming forum

Oh great we are all f*cked

21. Pretend that movies like Doom and Tomb Raider are anything but crap

Add Resident Evil, Final Fantasy, and Wing Commander.

I think we all got "pwned".

Mayfield wrote:

21. Pretend that movies like Doom and Tomb Raider are anything but crap

Add Resident Evil, Final Fantasy, and Wing Commander.

I think we all got "pwned".

Nobody tries to legitimatize Wing Commander though.

Botswana wrote:
Nobody tries to legitimatize Wing Commander though.

I can for the sake of argument.

Dream wrote:

Botswana wrote:

Nobody tries to legitimatize Wing Commander though.

I can for the sake of argument.

How low are you willing to sink for the sake of argument?! I feel dirty just because I started trying to think of plausible defenses of this movie.

"Okay, but it's still not as bad as the Dungeons & Dragons movie" is what my brain spit out before I managed to stop it..

croaker wrote:
15. Ninja loot

I'm sorry. When did ninja become a verb, and what does it mean as such? (And by asking this, do I automatically put myself in the older-than-30 bucket?)

Ninja (or ninja loot), v.
-MMOG vernacular: to retrieve loot in any of a number of manners that might be thought underhanded, such as opening a chest while the rest of the party is in battle or walking by someone in trouble to get the mining spawn point behind them (that they were obviously going for). An excellent way to be tagged an "asshat".

Dream wrote:
Botswana wrote:
Nobody tries to legitimatize Wing Commander though.
I can for the sake of argument.
How low are you willing to sink for the sake of argument?! I feel dirty just because I started trying to think of plausible defenses of this movie.
"Okay, but it's still not as bad as the Dungeons & Dragons movie" is what my brain spit out before I managed to stop it..

Didn't the Wing Commander movie at least have some boobies in it...? Or am I thinking Starship Troopers?

croaker wrote:
15. Ninja loot

I'm sorry. When did ninja become a verb, and what does it mean as such? (And by asking this, do I automatically put myself in the older-than-30 bucket?)

20. Try to win an argument in a gaming forum

But, I came here for an argument. Well, actually P&C is more for that. :D

The verb in that phrase is "loot" from "to loot".
"Ninja" is, I believe, an adverb, modifying the verb "loot".

To put it into OverThirtyese, "He looted ninja-ly."

I don't understand what's wrong with 16? Getting gaming news is faster online but it's nice to have something to read when you're away from your computer. I still subscribe to CGW (despite the drop in quality in the last few years) even though they put many of their reviews on 1up.com now.

Edit 2:
Chumpy beat me to the definition but here's a site where you can download a video of ninja looting (NSFW due to language)
http://www.warcraftmovies.com/moviev...

9. Tea-bag a downed opponent in Halo 2

27. Bogart the controller

A'right. I'm gonna lay myself out here. Bogart and Tea Bag sound like some great slang to mix into my daily vocabulary. I'd love to start using them but, and I hesitate to admit this, I don't know what they mean. So, before I embarass myself telling my co-worker that he just pulled a bogart on his diet coke or my gf to stop teabagging the cat, please help a brother out with a clear, concise definition.

WOW! I'm only 34 but I guess I'm not "with it" anymore because after reading the things I'm not supposed to do I had to look for LobsterMobster to translate! He left early though so I'm confused.

Chumpy_McChump wrote:
to retrieve loot in any of a number of manners that might be thought underhanded

Thanks. One of the reasons why playing MMOGs is not of interest for me.
duckilama wrote:
The verb in that phrase is "loot" from "to loot".
"Ninja" is, I believe, an adverb, modifying the verb "loot".

Okay. If it had been "adverbized" to be something like "ninja-ly loot" (your suggestion) or "ninja looting", I'd have been able to guess the verb being a conjugation of "to loot".

Here we were given a list of things not to do, where each entry is taken to be an action. In effect, it was as if one said "Do not X Y." If X Y, were instead, say "dwarf smell", how would you parse the resulting "Do not dwarf smell" lacking any other context? Is the verb a conjugation of "to dwarf", "to smell", or "to dwarf smell"?*

* Note this posting is not intended to encourage the smelling of Dwarves or the diminuation of other odors. Thank you.

Copingsaw wrote:
A'right. I'm gonna lay myself out here. Bogart and Tea Bag sound like some great slang to mix into my daily vocabulary. I'd love to start using them but, and I hesitate to admit this, I don't know what they mean. So, before I embarass myself telling my co-worker that he just pulled a bogart on his diet coke or my gf to stop teabagging the cat, please help a brother out with a clear, concise definition.

Ah, these I happen to know.

To bogart something is much like "to hog" or "being unwilling to share" the something. Optionally grabbing the something from someone else first.

I had the misfortune to have learned what it means to teabag here at GWJ, much like "goatse". I'd strongly suggest not using that one in casual conversation; and I decline to define it here, although I'm sure that a little googling will allow you to find it out on your own, and note that it's likely not to be taken to be SFW.

Can we add a #30?
Use of the word rape (raped) when it comes to winning a fight in any game. As in DOOD! You're gonna get raped! (that's always bothered me...stupid word to use in any way).

By my (regrettably, extensive) knowledge of MMORPG jargon, every single person who has posted about "ninja looting" in this thread, including the original post/quoted article, has been wrong. (Or, more likely, I'm wrong and think everyone else is.)

The "correct" form of the term you're all trying to use is "ninjaloot", one word, defined offhand as (verb) "to acquire an item, generally from the corpse of a slain mob, in a manner considered illegitimate by other nearby players". So, you don't ninja the uber sword. You'd normally loot it, but you're a sneaky jerk, so you ninjalooted the uber sword instead.

Note that I have already included several disclaimers and self-mockery in this post, thereby saving anyone who disagrees with me the trouble.

A'right. I'm gonna lay myself out here. Bogart and Tea Bag sound like some great slang to mix into my daily vocabulary. I'd love to start using them but, and I hesitate to admit this, I don't know what they mean. So, before I embarass myself telling my co-worker that he just pulled a bogart on his diet coke or my gf to stop teabagging the cat, please help a brother out with a clear, concise definition.

Someone covered "bogart" well enough. To "teabag" someone is to "greet them in a particularly effusive manner." Therefore the following sentences are acceptable, nay, hip.

"Hi John, it is my distinct pleasure to teabag you."

"My, he's a friendly one. Look how thoroughly he's teabagging that woman."

I use it almost hourly.

LockAndLoad wrote:

6. Find the idea of teamkilling funny
9. Tea-bag a downed opponent in Halo 2
13. Play a female character in an MMOG in order to troll for "Crying Game" victims
17. Replace the letter S with a dollar sign when writing Microsoft, Sony, or PlayStation

Edit: fixed broken quote.

In certain, controlled situations TKing is absolutely funny. Like those times in SWAT 4 where I would hide and ambush Fripper. Mind you, mass TK'ing in a pub is definitely severe asshattery - but among friends... that's a different story.

TeaBagging is encouraged, approved and applauded. Live it, love it. I even teabag perps in SWAT 4...

Someone said it here, so I'll second it. If you are going to stare at your character all night long... might as well be a female avatar. We cant help it if n00bs assume that you are a female and open themselves up for a shock.

I am guilty of using the "$" in Micro$oft, much to the chagrin of certain forum members. It's relic of talking too much in IRC.

Copingsaw wrote:
A'right. I'm gonna lay myself out here. Bogart and Tea Bag sound like some great slang to mix into my daily vocabulary. I'd love to start using them but, and I hesitate to admit this, I don't know what they mean. So, before I embarass myself telling my co-worker that he just pulled a bogart on his diet coke or my gf to stop teabagging the cat, please help a brother out with a clear, concise definition.

I think this, should clear up any confusion, as to when teabaging is appropriate.

Svlad wrote:
By my (regrettably, extensive) knowledge of MMORPG jargon, every single person who has posted about "ninja looting" in this thread, including the original post/quoted article, has been wrong. (Or, more likely, I'm wrong and think everyone else is.)

The "correct" form of the term you're all trying to use is "ninjaloot", one word, defined offhand as (verb) "to acquire an item, generally from the corpse of a slain mob, in a manner considered illegitimate by other nearby players". So, you don't ninja the uber sword. You'd normally loot it, but you're a sneaky jerk, so you ninjalooted the uber sword instead.


Nah, Chumpy_McChump got it more or less. And I've seen it typed as two words and one.

ColdForged wrote:

Someone covered "bogart" well enough. To "teabag" someone is to "greet them in a particularly effusive manner." Therefore the following sentences are acceptable, nay, hip.

"Hi John, it is my distinct pleasure to teabag you."

"My, he's a friendly one. Look how thoroughly he's teabagging that woman."

I use it almost hourly.

Dude, not funny, I told my boss that I enjoyed meeting his wife the other day because she teabagged me. Almost got me fired ....

or my gf to stop teabagging the cat

hee hee!

no seriously, there are probably people out there on thar interweb that would pay good money for that.

Larsson wrote:
15. Ninja loot
I'm sorry. When did ninja become a verb, and what does it mean as such? (And by asking this, do I automatically put myself in the older-than-30 bucket?)

STFU N000B!! :)

OMG, you so owned him..WOOT!

Is it too early to nominate this for thread of the year!


7. Choose a female avatar so that you can try to upskirt her

i object to the above