I am VERY confused... *Demos Dating Thread!*

Oh and I want to see Pigpen's movie about the above...

Pigpen wrote:

Or try the Pigpen method (patent pending)

Go out with all 5, have a blast, flirt like crazy, be fun, be fun, be fun...make them laugh...give them space, be cool, have a little bit of a cocky bad boy attitude, dance with all 5, and ensure each one gets a little 'special' time, etc...
then sleep with one of them...and be REALLY good...ensure her O time is reached via carpet duty before you even get nekked.

THEN - she'll tell her friends about you - then, sleep with the other 4 one at a time - it gets easier for numbers 2, 3 and 4 because they keep bragging about your tongue and tool. Number 5 can be tough...she's the pretentious one who doesn't want to sleep with you cuz now you're a slut. BUT - she really is kinky and likes bondage, so she's the most fun...and being the toughest challenge just makes it that much BETTER!

Then move on, or choose one to date...whatever...you're in college so it doesn't really matter...just have fun and quit being serious...you aren't going to marry any of those 5 (so sez the Swami)

You forgot the ending, where you wake up in a cold sweat.

Sanjuro wrote:
Pigpen wrote:

Or try the Pigpen method (patent pending)

Go out with all 5, have a blast, flirt like crazy, be fun, be fun, be fun...make them laugh...give them space, be cool, have a little bit of a cocky bad boy attitude, dance with all 5, and ensure each one gets a little 'special' time, etc...
then sleep with one of them...and be REALLY good...ensure her O time is reached via carpet duty before you even get nekked.

THEN - she'll tell her friends about you - then, sleep with the other 4 one at a time - it gets easier for numbers 2, 3 and 4 because they keep bragging about your tongue and tool. Number 5 can be tough...she's the pretentious one who doesn't want to sleep with you cuz now you're a slut. BUT - she really is kinky and likes bondage, so she's the most fun...and being the toughest challenge just makes it that much BETTER!

Then move on, or choose one to date...whatever...you're in college so it doesn't really matter...just have fun and quit being serious...you aren't going to marry any of those 5 (so sez the Swami)

You forgot the ending, where you wake up in a cold sweat.

Owned.

Gorilla.800.lbs wrote:
Legion, are you by a chance Russian or something?

Not unless they recently annexed Fresno and nobody told me.

Pigpen wrote:
Or try the Pigpen method...

Bonus points if you start with the least attractive and work your way up.

Razorgrin wrote:
Pigpen wrote:
Or try the Pigpen method...

Bonus points if you start with the least attractive and work your way up.

More points if you start with the most attractive and work your way down. Hazard pay, doncha know.

*Legion* wrote:

Not unless they recently annexed Fresno and nobody told me.

Then why are you slipping in Depeche Mode references?

On the subject. Personally, I think there aren't any sorority sisters coming. Demos has been played.

Gorilla.800.lbs wrote:
*Legion* wrote:

Not unless they recently annexed Fresno and nobody told me.

Then why are you slipping in Depeche Mode references?

On the subject. Personally, I think there aren't any sorority sisters coming. Demos has been played.

Or maybe they are evil sorority sisters from hell, who even now have poor Demos chained up in their house painiting his nails and removing his kidneys.

Hey! It's taken lesser beings than evil sorority sisters to paint my nails!

Wait... that's... probably worse.

Badferret wrote:
Or maybe they are evil sorority sisters from hell, who even now have poor Demos chained up in their house painiting his nails and removing his kidneys.

I bet they look like this. (NSFW)

Someone please ban Podunk or at the very least remove his linking priveleges.

LINK NOT SAFE FOR HEREOSEXUALITY! (or lesbianism)

Podunk wrote:
Badferret wrote:
Or maybe they are evil sorority sisters from hell, who even now have poor Demos chained up in their house painiting his nails and removing his kidneys.

I bet they look like this. (NSFW)

I like cake.

Or try the Pigpen method (patent pending)

Go out with all 5, have a blast, flirt like crazy, be fun, be fun, be fun...make them laugh...give them space, be cool, have a little bit of a cocky bad boy attitude, dance with all 5, and ensure each one gets a little 'special' time, etc...
then sleep with one of them...and be REALLY good...ensure her O time is reached via carpet duty before you even get nekked.

THEN - she'll tell her friends about you - then, sleep with the other 4 one at a time - it gets easier for numbers 2, 3 and 4 because they keep bragging about your tongue and tool. Number 5 can be tough...she's the pretentious one who doesn't want to sleep with you cuz now you're a slut. BUT - she really is kinky and likes bondage, so she's the most fun...and being the toughest challenge just makes it that much BETTER!

Then move on, or choose one to date...whatever...you're in college so it doesn't really matter...just have fun and quit being serious...you aren't going to marry any of those 5 (so sez the Swami)

....and then listen to the alarm clock ring

Stric9 wrote:
Someone please ban Podunk or at the very least remove his linking priveleges.

My job here is done.

Of all of GWJ's various memes, I think I enjoy a Demo relationship post and the 100+-post avalanche that follows it. It's like watching a cross between "Dawson's Creek" and a Improv Comedy troupe. But Katie Holmes isn't in it.

Podunk wrote:
Badferret wrote:
Or maybe they are evil sorority sisters from hell, who even now have poor Demos chained up in their house painiting his nails and removing his kidneys.

I bet they look like this. (NSFW)

After seeing that image I will use my last few remaining seconds of sight before I go hysterically blind to ask how this thread managed to get up to 4 pages in less than 12 hours. Did the Half Life 2 leak news broken here even generate this much response so quickly?

Demosthenes' demented dating diaries = definite derailment

Prederick wrote:
It's like watching a cross between "Dawson's Creek" and a Improv Comedy troupe. But Katie Holmes isn't in it.

Katie Holmes isn't in Improv Comedy? Then what was she doing in Batman Begins?

f*ck, 4 pages and I'm just catching up...

Eh..Gameguru said all I have to say anyways.

Regarding the BF statement...pretend it never happened. Continue with your course of action.

*edit: ok, caught up. Demo, DO NOT GET TOO DRUNK...unless they do. You do not want to be the new, weird, stumbling drunk guy. If they are hitting it hard, follow suite. Otherwise, if you really want to get in her pants, if she's not drunk, you don't want to be either. (not too drunk, at least).
The man-date...Probably a good idea to bring a friend. 2 reasons I can see.
1. To deflect any odd silences, it's good to have someone you know to bounce sh*t off of.
2. To take off with and find a party if the girls end up sucking and being bitches.

**god damnit.....I f*cking miss college...

I asked for a woman's phone number last night. I didn't get it. I didn't ask very well (quite meek), but what the hell.

On the plus point:

SHe was very good looking Colombian microbiologist. She was some kind of fantasy woman. Someone else had tried to speak to her and not done well, so I moved in. Apparently we were chatting for a long time. She was laughing and playing with her hair and moved towards me a bit.

I couldn't close the deal, but, sh*t, to keep the interest of a woman that hot and that smart did my self-esteem a world of good.

There was another chick who also thought I was cool too. (I didn't want her number though, even though I could have got it. OH YEAH, ALPHA MALE.)

Heheheh.

I lost my mobile though.

1Dgaf wrote:
I lost my mobile though.

Have we learned nothing from Mex's adventures? Are you sure said hot microbiologist was a chick?
(I keed - congrats. Baby steps, man, baby steps. )

I got my phone back. I'd left in a taxi. The taxi driver dropped it back at my house for free.

Still good people in the world.

1Dgaf wrote:
There was another chick who also thought I was cool too. (I didn't want her number though, even though I could have got it. OH YEAH, ALPHA MALE.)

Oh yeah, indeed. That's an unmistakably cool feeling.

Yes, especially if you're 5'7" and look like a potato.

There was a proper alpha male at the thing I went to last night though. 6'5" black guy who's part of a kickboxing team called the 'Bristol death squad'.

He was interested in The Colombian too.

So. I have an adversary.

THE TALE OF THE TAPE:

Name: IDgaf
Age: 29 y.o
Height: 5' 7 3/4"
Weight: Some moobage.
Martial arts history: Some Tai Chi and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu experience.
Other: History of chronic ill-health.

THE OTHER GUY
Name: Unknown
Age: Mid 30s
Height: 6'5"
Weight: Brick sh*thouse
Martial arts histroy: Kickboxing champeen or something.
Other: Did we mention brick sh*thouse?

I think I can take him.

AHHAHAHAHAH *sigh*

I like how you shoot yourself down real good.

It's part of my charm.

ANyway, it's pragmatism. When wit meets fist, fist wins.

Oh and for the record, he started speaking to her after me. I don't think he had time to get her number (assuming she'd have given it) before the bar shut.

Mad props to me for being to hold a conversation about microbiology, though. I even managed to sound like I had some kind of insight in to why she studied infectious diseases.

God, she f*cking good looking.

1Dgaf wrote:
ANyway, it's pragmatism. When wit meets fist, fist wins.

Sure, but wit has a hell of a laugh afterwards, in the hospital bed!

*snigger*

"Hey, didja... didja see the way my teeth exploded when he punched me? Boy, the look on his face! I bet he didn't expect that to happen!"

*leans over to bedside beaker and sucks gravy through a straw