So, I was standing naked in the shower this morning, and I couldn't help but think: Where's Elysium been lately? After his glorious return to authorship with his excellent series of game retail expose' pieces, he has nigh but disappeared. Has the product of his breeding turned days into weeks? Perhaps his job as his wife's assis- er, business partner has monopolized his time? Where are ya, little buddy?
Last I heard, he had abandoned his mortal body and joined his essence to the universe itself. So a better question would be: Where isn't Elysium?
The market has much to answer for as to why gaming is NOT an art. -- illum
Wouldn't that make him a Scientologist? What were you really doing in during E3, Elysium? Hmmm?
[size=10]Psychotic Foreign Teenage Chicks are so hot. - Legion
Everything in moderation. Unless you're a furry. Then you can just f*ck off and get help - Coldforged[/size]
I thought that they merged his consciousness with that of a 60's-era deep space probe, and shot it off on a two hundred year round trip to the Planet of the Machines.
Don't be saucy with me, Bernaise. - Count DeMonet
FalseGravity - My first blog.
He will now be known as V'ger the Bearded One and is able to disintegrate Klingon cruisers with glowing blue balls of energy...
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Battle.Net: LockNLoad#1621
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Wouldn't that be E'ger?
Rules cannot trump power -- The Godfather Doctrine
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He's got two tickets to paradise. He packed his bags and left last night.
SteamID: crawlingchaos
So that's why he tried to shave off Elysia's hair with an electric shaver.
I wish you guys would stop encouraging him.
EvilHomer3k wrote:You are an evil, evil person.
Baron Of Hell wrote:YOU VILLAIN!
After the GWJ meet & greet he went on a road trip with his brother and his dad. Then he was home for a few days and then left again for another trip with his wife and Elysium 2.0. They left Wednesday, I think they're gone for a week or so.
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ― Howard Thurman
That's a convenient lie to cover up his death.
Or he's in prison, for having such a shifty beard. And cheating at Mario Party.
Also, it'd be E'ium and he'd have the power to make glowing balls of blue energy to destroy Klingon vocabularies. Common misconception.
Geez Certis, you are such a downer. These "true" and "rational" explanations are totally bummin' me out.
"I like to hear people talking when they're not talking to me," I said. "It's soothing to know that I don't have to listen." -- Bill Harris describing a truism.
Those who cannot spell correctly have no honor. And contractions are tools of the weak and the cowardly.
I wish you guys would stop encouraging him.
EvilHomer3k wrote:You are an evil, evil person.
Baron Of Hell wrote:YOU VILLAIN!
I'm personally of the opinion that he just can't be bothered.
We will walk boldly into the darkness and be the light.
I think we've found him...
I wish you guys would stop encouraging him.
EvilHomer3k wrote:You are an evil, evil person.
Baron Of Hell wrote:YOU VILLAIN!
See, he's not dead, he's self-employed!
Hello my baby!!!
Rat Boy, my hat is off to you, sir.
If there were any justice in the world, 'emoticons' would be a failed eighties Transformers spin off movie, in which all the bots transform into a symbol of an emotion, and which preaches gay rights.
That is absolutely brilliant.
Awesome Rat.
I think we have another clue though. If you play the Wiener Bomb MP3 backwards, you can distinctly hear someone say "Elysium is dead, miss him, miss him." I have no idea how that got in there. Creepy though.
Don't be saucy with me, Bernaise. - Count DeMonet
FalseGravity - My first blog.
Great picture right there!
As for Elysium, I hear he's been camping in front of a local theatre in the recent past to make sure that he'll get weekend tickets for Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, his most anticipated movie this year.
Deuce Bigalow? Somebody needs to stop him before he makes a terrible, terrible mistake. Boys?
I wish you guys would stop encouraging him.
EvilHomer3k wrote:You are an evil, evil person.
Baron Of Hell wrote:YOU VILLAIN!
Sorry to disappoint, but the story is much less interesting than many of your imaginations. It's just that my beard staged a coup d'etat on my face and now controls 38% of my body, including an arm, most of my eyes, and the international airport. Fortunately I still control the military and we are regrouping near my navel (or, the Hole, as the grunts call it), and we expect to crush the resistance early next week. Once we stick those commie bastards up against the wall, I'll be back in action.
The thing about smart people is they seem like crazy people to dumb people -- Thing I saw on the Internet
I would think your pooper would be a bad place to stage an offensive... a good defensive place. Nobody random will come by unless the really have to.
"What forest are you talking about?! I can't see anything with all these trees in the way!" ~Farscry
The minions of hair have controlled that region for decades. They're too deeply entrenched!
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