Giggity-giggity: Worst Pickup Lines Ever

In best fake-Russian accent:

"Hello! Have only been in country short distance. Will you have drink for me?"

duckideva wrote:

" It rubs the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again."

This is a personal favorite that I like to use now and then.

"My Mom has that same dress!"

"Hey don't I know you from the bus?"

"Hi, mind if I hang out here until it's safe back where I farted?"

"Are you drunk or is that just a lazy eye?"

"Wanna see a trick I learned in Prison?"

"How much were your breasts?"

"Excuse me for interrupting, and I don't mean to make a pass... but you must be leaving the country if you're packing that much ass!"

--courtesy of an MP3 I got from somewhere at somepoint

mumford wrote:

Oh man, you should videotape that. Make it into a documentary, it'd be awesome.

Umm, I'd feel a little dorky videotaping everything... And I'm going to be visiting some seriously seedy transexual bars too, so...

If you guys are really interested, I guess I'll try and take pictures and post a couple of reviews. I'm officially beginning the project today tho. =)

I'm waiting on it Mex.

I always liked one that Quagmired used at his party.

Two women talking to each other and he jumps in the middle.

"I don't mean to come between you, or do I?"

Quick, someone make Mex's experiment a front page article!

That shirt is becoming on you.
And if I were that shirt, I would becoming on you too.

"You know, that's a pretty dress and it would look great on the floor next to my bed."

And I'm going to be visiting some seriously seedy transexual bars too, so...

wooo back up here... Is that what Mexual means? Cause if so I am not sure I wanna be Mexual anymore

Highlander wrote:

That shirt is becoming on you.
And if I were that shirt, I would becoming on you too.

Oh man, that is so crass. I love it!

Fredster wrote:
Elysium wrote:

"Um, hi, I haven't been with a woman for two-and-a-half years and please for the love of God will you sleep with me." - and then, this is the kicker, start crying.

Well, that would be the worst pickup line ever, methinks.

Elysia? Care to comment? Apparently it worked....

How could I resist my bearded man, regardless of how lame the line is?

Seriously, Elysium and I were set up on a blind date, so he didn't have to use a line. Seems to have worked out pretty well, though. Who needs pickup lines?

This wasn't a pickup line, but it's the one that hooked my wife:

On our first date, we were reviewing the menu at the high-class restaurant I took her to (Dave & Busters:). After telling her that everything on the menu was fantastic except for the catfish, which was horrible, the waiter asked me what I'd like.

"I'll have the catfish, I hear it's great here."

This one's pretty bad:

"Hi, I'm running an experiment by touring all the bars in the city...would you care to be my guide to the gay clubs? "

Fanatka wrote:

"Hi, I'm running an experiment by touring all the bars in the city...would you care to be my guide to the gay clubs? "

: (

Mex wrote:
Fanatka wrote:

"Hi, I'm running an experiment by touring all the bars in the city...would you care to be my guide to the gay clubs? "

: (

Sorry, Mex...wasn't trying to make you sad! Just giving a shot at some Seinfeldian cross-thread referencing:)

-Fan

I thought it was pretty funny, tho : )

Actually, I think it could work as a pickup line. Er, not the gay bars thing, tho.

I just overheard the best pick-up line on "King of the Hill"

Dale: "Are you sure you're not an alien? 'Cause you just abducted my heart."

I heard a funny pickup line from a friend of mine. Apparently it worked on her.

You: "Excuse me, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?"
Her: "Ummm..."
You: "Just enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm ."

It's cute, innocent, doesn't reference viginas, and it's pretty much assured to get at least a smirk out of absolutely anyone.

Rezzy wrote:

"My Mom has that same dress!"

"Hey don't I know you from the bus?"

"Hi, mind if I hang out here until it's safe back where I farted?"

"Are you drunk or is that just a lazy eye?"

"Wanna see a trick I learned in Prison?"

"How much were your breasts?"

"Excuse me for interrupting, and I don't mean to make a pass... but you must be leaving the country if you're packing that much ass!"

--courtesy of an MP3 I got from somewhere at somepoint

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suvh... here it is. sorry it took so long

Nineteen years!?

merphle wrote:

Nineteen years!?

I was busy.

"Do you come here often? I just did."

hogh20 wrote:

here it is. sorry it took so long

Yup. That was the clip. Instant recognition and pangs of nostalgia that the text version did not trigger for me. Great find!

19 years. That's enough time for someone to use these lines, they work. Get married, have kids, and the kids use these lines.

"I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?"

"I wish I was cross-eyed so I could see you twice."

Technical foul, QS, this is the "worst pickup lines" thread. Al has undoubtedly been successful with every one of those.

merphle wrote:

Technical foul, QS, this is the "worst pickup lines" thread. Al has undoubtedly been successful with every one of those.

Modesty would forbid him admitting it!