For those of you who followed my "getting separated from wife" thread, this may come as much as a shock to you as it did to me, so lemme give you some background. For those who just want to help with the specific thing I need, skip to last paragraph, cause dude I'm verbose.
Of the things that came out now that my wife and I are going through this, was the one tie breaker possible in the "can I still trust her and try to work this out" genre. She told me that she had started to be interested in someone else, but that I would be relieved to know (oh my god could she be more wrong) that it wouldn't happen because this guy was now dating a friend of hers. Hell, I might have been relieved and even forgiving if she had said it was all a terrible, terrible mistake and just cause she's going through a rough time. Not: Well, nothing can happen cause he dissed me. As if I give a s*** about anything other than how she feels about me, as if I am some petty idiot who's happy she got rejected? Bleh. Bleh, and quadruple bleh. For me, I can only open my heart to one person at a time, and hell I even remember that I'm married when I'm dreaming. So I would say my trust is thoroughly broken at this point.
And then I get an email 2 days ago. It's from the woman who was an exchange student from Greece my senior year of high school, who I fell deeply in love with. The one real regret, out of everything I've been through in my life, is that I didn't defer my first year of college and goto Greece. It wasn't the first time I had fallen in love, it was that she's the only person I ever felt was truly my soul mate, in a very real and not just teenager sentimentality way. Seems she got divorced a year ago under very similar circumstances. She had been trying to get in touch with me, however, for the past four years. But when does her email find me? When my wife is gone to her parent's house, and I'm finally dealing with the reality of this whole thing. Just about a day after I had decided that no matter what my wife did, it wouldn't be enough for me to want to spend my life with her and trust her. It's like God held the email in some mystical Inbox until I was ready, and not rebounding, and not flipping out, but actually lucid for the first time in a long time and ready to move on with my life.
So I called her. And it was like a year had passed instead of sixteen. And we're both at similar places in our lives. And we both feel it would be pretty stupid to regret not seeing each other for another sixteen years. So I'm going to Greece. In 2 weeks, assuming I can get my passport renewed by then. Your passport has to be less than fifteen years old to get it renewed, and mine is fourteen years old. I found it in the fifth box I checked. I realized through the first four and a half boxes that I had kept a whole part of my life packed away that didn't fit with my current life. And it's damned sad that it didn't fit. I'm calling her again today to finalize dates of when I'll be going, and when coming back. Although I'd eat the cost of the return ticket and not come back for a while longer if that's...what happens.
My only real contingent at this point is I promised a choir teacher friend of mine that I'd goto a week-long conference in Minnesota, that I really want to go to. I called her last night to give her the heads up that...I just don't know this moment whether I will be going (which would be seriously rude on many levels, since I promised for months we'd do this, and she saved the money, and she would have gone to a different session if I wasn't going...backing out at last minute as we were about to register would be bad). However, that's also a part of this whole "Am I in a movie?" feeling: we were going to register for the conference this week. The conference (with long by car travel time) is July 21st through July 30th. Which means I would be in Greece from ~July 1st, through July 19th. A part of me, a big part actually, wants to just skip the conference and be in Greece from July 1st through maybe August 8th or so. (just in time to get some kind of music teaching job really fast if my interview this week doesn't work out). I would then hopefully get a music job I actually want the following year.
I have no expectations, in that, I don't think I could permanently move to Greece, cause I don't think I could teach choir there, and that's what I want to do with my life. I also don't know if we'll connect, somehow magically pickup where we left off sixteen years ago. I definitely don't know if she's willing to move to the States. But Oh My God, how stupid would it be, how much would I regret it, if I didn't goto Greece and figure all that out?
I'm having a hell of a time trying to find plane tickets. I've seen prices from $500 to $4000, and anything that comes up $1000 or less also says "Sold Out" once I hit their "continue" button. I'm looking for a round trip flight between Metro Detroit Airport (DTW) and Athens, Greece (ATH). The dates will either be July 1st to July 19th, or July 1st to August 8th. Let you know as soon as I can. I would be more than happy to send a nice electronic $50 Amazon or wherever gift certicate to the person who can find me the cheapest round trip tickets, preferrably in that $1000 or less, continually sold out category (only, of course, it would need to be in the "1 ticket left for Roo" category). If you read all of the above, yes, this is nuts. But I'd be nuts not to go. And yes, it feels like I'm in a novel or a movie, with cliched plot twists working out magically right. I wouldn't cry if it did work out that way.