Calling all musicians... well, lyricists, really.

I will give you a Pen of Scathing Wit +2 in exchange for a rewrite of Rocket Man as... Weiner Bomb. Can't you just hear Shatner saying it?

Extra super bonus points for an actual MP3 recording of said new Anthem de GWJ(well, come on, it _is_ the apparent meme-of-the-week).

Sounds like a contest in the making.

I''d rather re-write 2112, in which the hero discovers a weiner bomb left behind by the elder race. He joyfully brings it to the priests of the Temples of Penis, who surprise him by cockblocking his discovery rather than embracing it. In his time of despair, he is visited by an Oracle in a dream, who shows him the way of life before the Federation instituted their phallic oppression, and shows the return of the elder race. The hero awakens to discover it was all a dream, and in his despair, uses the weiner bomb to take his own life. Not long thereafter, the elder race makes their triumphant return and levels the Federation cities with a multitude of weiner bombs.


Oh dude, I may just have to rise to that challenge. I don''t have a lot of extra time for projects like that, but this one just may be worth it.

I shaved my bag last night, so tight.
Took a shower, Nair'd it then.
My junk is gonna look out of sight in bed.
Yeah it's smooth to the touch, you bet your life.
It's chilly now, no chafe.
I'm such a hairless sight.

And I think it's gonna be so smooth, so clean.
Til the nut hair grows back again so fine.
I'm not the man they think I am while clothed.
Oh no no no, I'm a wiener bomb.
Wiener bomb, lath''rin up his fuse at home alone.

Hair ain't the kind of taste to give your chick.
In fact, it's f*ckin' gross.
And there's no guarantee she'll go down there at all.
And all this hairiness I don't understand.
It's just a shave, once a week.
A Wiener Bomb. Wiener Bomb.

And I think it's gonna be so smooth, so clean.

"*Legion*" wrote:


There can never be too much RUSH DISCUSSION!

And I think Fletch wins. But now, he is obligated to record it, and post it here.

I''m so proud.

Shear brilliance Fletch!

By the time I got to

lath''rin up his fuse at home alone.

I laughed out loud, in the true sense of the words. (and I mostly laugh on the inside)

The first time I read it I was in Elton mode, the second time I read it I tried the Shatner version, but it was too funny - had to stop.

And I think Fletch wins. But now, he is obligated to record it, and post it here.

Yes, indeed. Even if it''s not musical at all. A nice, heartfelt soliloquy would be jim dandy.

Here''s your backing track (use Winamp to play).

Edit: Reading along with the real lyrics, I see that the 3rd stanza is just a repeat of the 2nd... which is fine with me b/c the 3rd doesn''t really seem to work in Fletcher''s version (sorry, Fletch). I think there''s a line or two where the rhythm is off or the number of syllables or something. No matter. I''ll give you an eye for the first two verses alone. Good job.

What''s a Kar?

Karaoke file. Basically, Midi + sync''d lyrics.

I think the third stanza is a repeat of the first, Grumps, judging from the meter. Could be wrong. Anyway, I metered it out to match Shatner, not Elton John, and I did take some liberties.

Still, it should be a good fit for a rhythmic speaking. I''ll try to record something for y''all today once my voice clears up. I just slept for twelve hours, and it''s a little rough right now. Ahhh blessed sleep.

Who wants to host it when I''m done?

Okay, I''ve been watching the Shat vid a bit, and I''m about ready to lay down a VOX track. I''m going have the vid playing through headphones to get the timing right, but the recording will be sans accompaniment. Best I can do from home. I can mate the two later if somebody has the skill to rip Shat''s voice and isolate the accompaniment, but that''s beyond my capabilities here.

Anyway, wish me luck. I''ll post here when (if) Frankenstein lives.

I am excited as hell...

OMG, Fletch rules!

And Legion? The Rush thing...brilliant. I''ll expect to see that on my desk monday, then, shall I? ; )

Heaven help us all. It''s alive. [url=[/url]! I say.

I recorded a track using the tempo of the Shatner recording, but without music it just sounded stupid. So I upped the tempo and re-arranged it a bit for this recording. If anyone can manage to get me Shat''s music sans his voice, I''ll do some hocus pocus on my end to merge the two, but in the mean time, here it is.

I have become death, destroyer of taste.

Fletch, I know I said this before, but you are my hero.

Well done!

Fletch. Seriously, hand to God, that was the single greatest thing that the internet has ever delivered to me. My God, man. Words... just aren''t enough.

Holy crap.

Someone add music... STAT!

How in the world can you do that without cracking up laughing in the middle of it?

That recording totally F''d me up. If someone were to add music to it, I swear I''d make it my Windows startup sound. (Note: I haven''t enabled sounds in windows since the early days of Win95.)

Thanks guys. A talented musician/sound editor is all we wont to bring this dream to fruition.

However, in the mean time, I''m happy to work with Legion on the 2112/Wiener Bomb project. We ah-re the priests, of the tem-ple of pe-nis ...

Oh man, Fletch, that''s classic. I''m still laughing. Great delivery!

Okay, I''m on the case. I''ve got the backing track loaded up in GarageBand, and I''m playing with Fletcher''s vocals... I might be able to cut his track up and sync it all together. I''ve gotta find my Bias disc... If Fletch could re-record his track and sync it to the .kar file Grumpy linked to, that''d be swell.

We''re gonna make ourselves a #1 hit! Someone book a few nights in Vegas.

That''s pure-D unadulterated gold. Can''t wait to have the music running behind the genius.

.... ..... ..... ...... ..... Brilliant!

And I''ve never even heard the Shatner version!

Ye Gods, Fletch. Brilliant.

Give me a few minutes and I''ll have a link to a rough pre-mix version.

Give thisa try.

"Demiurge" wrote:

Give thisa try.


...I''m a weiner bomb...omb...omb...

Bravo! Encore! Encore! Well done Demi. Mad props to Fletch for writing it and doing the vocals but good God, Demi took it to the next level.