Women troubles... Sex really does change everything?

From a female perspective, the freakout about the condom is perfectly normal. The thought of pregnancy can send perfectly stable, well adjusted, prepared for parenthood, women into absolute panic...you wouldn''t believe how insane that panic is when you are none of those things.

Her reaction sounds to me like she was just verbalizing the internal conversation that happens when the thought of unwanted pregnancy pops into a fertile mind.

I agree that a conversation with her is the only solution. Email/msgs etc aren''t going to cut it. She has a lot on her emotional plate right now, and if you want to remain an entree and not become a side-dish, you need to get your chef''s hat out and start helping her cook. (If I could carry that metaphor way too damn far.)

"Demosthenes" wrote:

I actually just turned 20 Saturday and she''s 18.

Ah ... life is so simple when you''re young...

I know that there can be some smart ass comments on some of the subjects posted on other boards (not so much here, thankfully.), and I would like to give out kudos to all the incredibly well thought out and constructive criticisms given in this thread.

Give yourselves some pats on your collective backs, it is heartening to see people who actually give a sh*t about someone else and their problems.

My little bit of advice, albeit small, is to do what you think is best in this situation, whether it be talking to her as soon as you can and getting everything out in the open (the way I would go ), or trying to ride out the ""storm"" and see what happens.

Good luck.

"LiquidMantis" wrote:
"hoochie" wrote:

And get a better fitting condom next time.

Damn, way to kick a guy when he''s down!
:lol:

Actually...

A. We both said the same thing anyway.

B. That was a big f*cking condom... some novelty glow in the dark one (with the obvious, but still hilarious tag line, put it under the light for thirty seconds then RISE AND SHINE!)... but it was a lot bigger than any i''d seen previously... other than the one that a friend put on his head and inflated with his nose... what? It''s college... stupid people do stupid things when they''re bored.

C. It definitely wasn''t an entirely SUPER ROMANTIC type thing... it was sort of an ending to a great night together, but we''ve never done a lot of super romantic things... I was planning on doing mood lighting and such for the first time just to make it a little more special... but that kinda got scrapped when my RA saw me bringing in candles and such... big dorm no-no so that had to be scrapped to avoid getting kicked out of the dorm... so yeah, maybe

"shihonage" wrote:

The PHONE is an evil tool of misinterpretations and lies.

IMO long distance relationships are doomed by default.

True.

Demo, sorry to hear that bro. Coming from someone who''s had an LD relationship with someone before, it''s the hardest thing ever in the world and I wouldn''t wish it on myself for the most perfect girl in the world. The best approach is the band-aid one, rip it off and remember that there''s probably 100 girls who will make you feel even happier than this one.

Then again, saying this to someone deep into it is almost pointless (again, coming from someone who went through this like you) but I wish I had listened a little closer to my friends.

Rebounds are never a good thing either.

Good luck man. The sex obviously adds a bit more complication to the mix, no matter how casual some people make it seem, there''s always complications.

Oh yeah, before I forget. Stop trying to understand women, that will drive you mad. Especially 18 year old women, that''s an even larger puzzle. If you can''t complete a Rubick''s cube, don''t even attempt to dissect the 18 year old female intellect. It just ain''t happening.

Hell, my girlfriend is 24 and my ex-wife is 28, and they both still scramble my noodle from time to time. Intentional or not, who knows?

Man''s great quest is to obtain the woman, but not understand the woman. We are but of logic, but we do feel. Unfortunately our feelings are based on logistics and simplistic ideals, whereas a woman''s are based on a deeply nested root of multi-issues and branches.

Women can operate on 100 different levels at the same time, while a man tends to remain focused on the straight, forward answer.

A famous comedian once overheard a woman talking with her friend in a local IHOP. She proclaimed ""If it wasn''t for my horse I never would have gone to college!""

Think about that one hard enough and I guarantee your eyes will begin to bleed and you''ll drop dead on the spot from aneurism.

"JohnnyMoJo" wrote:

There are a lot of people here saying ''share your feelings''. Let me tell you...every woman says she wants a man that can show his feelings. They are liars. Women want a man that is strong and can be depended on.

Wow, you guys give some good advice. Honestly, I was just going to suggest ""NEXT!"".

"baggachipz" wrote:

I think in Mexico, they call Baseball ""Futbol."" Other things also called ""Futbol"": Soccer, Football, Hockey, Parcheesi, and Breathing.

Honestly, I''m not even sure how do you win Baseball, or why sometimes there are more innings than 9 (or whatever they are). Sorry

"Swat" wrote:

Hell, my girlfriend is 24 and my ex-wife is 28, and they both still scramble my noodle from time to time. Intentional or not, who knows?

You stud.

Lol Mex.. by scrambling my noodle I don''t mean, uh.. some weird sexual thing involving a noodle, and scrambling.

I''m just going to shut up now.

Go buy a box of Trojans, and keep them for when you need them. I never trusted the novelty ones, and even the ones you can pick up from Health Services on campus have given me a scare.

If you''re feeling extra frisky, you can buy in bulk from Costco.

"Druidpeak" wrote:

Go buy a box of Trojans, and keep them for when you need them. I never trusted the novelty ones, and even the ones you can pick up from Health Services on campus have given me a scare.

If you''re feeling extra frisky, you can buy in bulk from Costco. :D

Too bad I''m not sure that''s exactly a necessary possibility at this point -_-;; It took me 20 years to get laid for the first time, and like 4 and a half years with a girl to get to a point where both she and I (at least myself given the circumstances) were comfortable and felt like we were ready for it. We''ll see... I''m gonna talk with her Wednesday I think, light work load expected at work and she won''t be busy packing for the move.

It becomes less of a big deal (and gets a HELL of a lot better,) after the first few times. Don''t you worry about that.

"Morrolan" wrote:

It becomes less of a big deal (and gets a HELL of a lot better,) after the first few times. Don''t you worry about that. ;)

Ah yes, the first time is usually a lot of fumbling, is it in yet''s, and nope that''s not it. But just like riding a bike you have to get the practice

Well, one of her friends kind of decided to help me out and told me that Sam was just feeling a little like we''d rushed in and that she needed a little personal space for some time to think about all the crap going on in her life.

And while I hate how she insists on going through all her problems solo while she kinda bugs me about sharing mine... I''m willing to wait.

I''m not afraid to admit, though, that I''m freaked out as hell. Everytime I''ve ever ""given a girl space"" when she said that''s what she thinks she needs... she''s walked away and never looked back.

And while that is her choice... I really think there''s a lot here already and that just abandoning that would probably be the single worst tragedy of my life.

I know you guys are saying that there are plenty of fish in the sea and I need to be ready for the possibility that it could all end... and I''m trying to get ready for that... but I can''t help but hope that everything pulls together for us in the end... because, as much as I recognize that there are other women out there... there really aren''t any I can imagine being with... at least none who are as kewl about me being me as she has been (I mean, the girl''s video game experience is limited to Mario Kart, Zelda, and some MMOG called Furcadia... but she still tries to get into any game I buy).

Sigh... scared as hell... stressed out... burned out... and exams are coming up soon too... just wanna scream.

Demos out.

Sigh... scared as hell... stressed out... burned out... and exams are coming up soon too... just wanna scream.

Don''t worry Demos. I''m here with yah. I''m in the same situation as those few words you have typed. To make matters worse, my close friend across the hall is having the same thing that you had last year with your roomate. If it wasn''t for his roomate both of the guys there would have slaughtered each other.

Hell, I delivered my family''s Christmas present to my ex. My plan was to give it to her and get the hell out. She invited me in and wanted to talk to me. When I tried to leave she wanted me to stay and her new beau was coming over in 30mins. I did not want to be there for that confrontation.

Everytime I''ve ever ""given a girl space"" when she said that''s what she thinks she needs... she''s walked away and never looked back.

And while that is her choice... I really think there''s a lot here already and that just abandoning that would probably be the single worst tragedy of my life.

If by chance, the girl wants to self destruct all you can do is advise her otherwise and let it be. Dont let her drag you down with her. No matter how well you think of her, you dont want to be around someone insisting on using poor judgement.

There is always an exception to every rule. Just because it hasnt happened doesnt mean it wont. If she wants space give it to her. If she doesnt come back and she continues to let her issues control her actions, you are so better off somewhere else with someone else.

"Swat" wrote:

A famous comedian once overheard a woman talking with her friend in a local IHOP. She proclaimed ""If it wasn''t for my horse I never would have gone to college!""

Think about that one hard enough and I guarantee your eyes will begin to bleed and you''ll drop dead on the spot from aneurism.

Wise words from the King of insane rants, Lewis Black.

"Demosthenes" wrote:

That said, you DID say that I wouldn''t get anywhere and I was an emergency penis in a jar previously and the past few months of our relationship rather well proved that not to be the case I think... but we''ll see. You could very well be right.

Been there, done this. He''s likely to be right. I''ve seen this situation in my life, and in several other people''s lives, and in every case it''s turned out to be correct.

It really messed me up when it happened to me. Very similar situation, friends for somewhere between 2 or 3 years, sudden relationship which seemed great at the time, followed by sudden feeling of disconnection after a weird conversation.

If I were you, as soon as I found out she''s not Pregnant (And I''d say the odds are slim given the total number of precautions you took) I would head right on back to the single life.

I persisted and tried to make it work, and ended up just essentially destroying my life for a few months. Not the recommended path.

*Edit*
and Morrolan.. mine was three months and still consider what happened largely a ""rebound guy"" situation. You can argue if you like, but I was still a rebound guy. It just took her three months to find someone she wanted to replace me with. That''s cold I know, but that''s the way I look at it.

"Druidpeak" wrote:

Go buy a box of Trojans, and keep them for when you need them. I never trusted the novelty ones, and even the ones you can pick up from Health Services on campus have given me a scare.

If you''re feeling extra frisky, you can buy in bulk from Costco. :D

Yeah, novelty ones == teh bad. And, unless you''re Mex, I''d advise against buying the Costco pack. There''s little more depressing in life than realizing that your box of condoms has expired. Sigh.

First base is kissing
Second base denoted anything from French kissing to copping a feel of the ta''s depending on age of involved parties...Hitting a double is clearly different from stealing second base at a party...understand?

Great! What about other things?

* ""Hitting it out of the park""?
* ""Playing in somebody else''s park, with somebody else''s bats and balls""?
* ""Taking the ball and going home""?
* ""Stepping up to the plate""?
* ""Slugging it out""?

What about those?

* ""Hitting it out of the park""?
* ""Playing in somebody else''s park, with somebody else''s bats and balls""?
* ""Taking the ball and going home""?
* ""Stepping up to the plate""?
* ""Slugging it out""?

Hitting it out of the park = Home Run

Playing in somebody else''s park = screwing your buddies girlfriend
With somebody else''s bats and ball...that one has me...haha

Taking the ball and going home = holstering your weapon because she said to go ''all the way'', you have to marry her, or some analogy like that...but self explanatory past that...take the ball(s) and go on home...

Stepping up to the plate = multiple context - could be stepping up to the plate when you''ve had to much to drink, or stepping up to the plate to ensure the happiness and wellness of your lovely woman...or could be I stepped up to the plate, but she balked, or you only got a double out of it

Slugging it out = Grudge sex

Playing in somebody else''s park = screwing your buddies girlfriend
With somebody else''s bats and ball...that one has me...haha

One of my friends said something the other day that made me do a ""double-take"". (graphic language warning?)

He said, after seeing a hot girl : ""Oh man, she''s so hot, I''d take your penis and put it inside her"".

"Swat" wrote:

Ah yes, the first time is usually a lot of fumbling, is it in yet''s, and nope that''s not it. But just like riding a bike you have to get the practice :)

When does ""it''s so small!"" go away?

compare to: wouldn''t ""hit"" it with a stolen ""bat""

Mex...I think that means he knows she''s hot, but that she also has 2-5 known diseases, so he''d nail her with your tool vice using his own.

Or she could be a ''he-transexual'', and he knows that...and thus his comment...

My usual comment would be ""I wouldn''t even touch that with your penis"" for that same woman...I mean...don''t want to infect my friend since I may have to ''work'' on his girlfriend when they break up...

"*Legion*" wrote:
"Swat" wrote:

Ah yes, the first time is usually a lot of fumbling, is it in yet''s, and nope that''s not it. But just like riding a bike you have to get the practice :)

When does ""it''s so small!"" go away?

I don''t know bro, 5 years in therapy and a Swedish Pump and I''m still scarred..

"swat" wrote:

5 years in therapy and a Swedish Pump and I''m still scarred..

Are you sure is wasn''t 5 years of using a Swedish Pump that gave you the scars?

What is a swedish pump...maybe like swedish meatballs?

They''ve been known to scar as well

Playing with a corked bat = Viagra
All-Star Game = Sex after a vasectomy (results are meaningless)