Ode To The Bastard Who Stole My Blinker Early This Morning
you have saved yourself $25 at Kragen or Autozone. congratu-f*cking-lations.
you have saved yourself $25 at Kragen or Autozone and cost me the same. I don't care so much about that. Like the priest and Jean Valjean, I would have given you the right front blinker of my 1995 civic if you had asked. take it friend. take it to fixyour cycloptic 1995 civic.
you have hurt me worse than the bastard who stole my
surfboard last year, which I stupidly left outside on my porch. I deserved to have my surfboard stolen for leaving it outside. I respect your law of the jungle, surfboard thief.
but right front blinker thief, you have penetrated to the very core of my sense of security. surely objects THAT ARE ATTACHED TO MY CAR are safe from theft. surely i should not begin to fear for my bone-stock muffler, or perhaps my windshield wipers. surely the windows of my house will not be stolen will they? or my left arm when I'm not looking. maybe for your next trick, you will steal Colorado at 3 in the morning, and we will all be surprised when Nebraska has nothing to lean on.
it is not about the $25. I shall never trust another civic driver again. young couples with babies in the back seat. older men in beret hats. nuns. from this day forward all of you are potential right front blinker thieves, and I shall treat you accordingly.
to autozone and jaded disillutionment I go.