Raked over the coals of incompetence

So yesterday will stand as a defining moment in my working life, but in an unfortunate way.

Up until now, I've managed to hold onto some vestige of my youthful wide-eyed naivete, thinking that all it takes to be okay in the working world is a solid work ethic, consideration of others, and honesty.

Turns out I was wrong.

Two years of being one of the best team players in my department is apparently unimportant next to screwing up once and not making it to our new "team-building" meeting.

My team leads/supervisors gave me a nice reaming yesterday over the whole deal, saying that they can't trust me anymore, and that this will go on my year-end review. They then spent several minutes explaining how this shows a lack of effort on my part for "Continuous Improvement," which weighs heavily on the merit portion of my year-end bonus, so I shouldn't be expecting much on that.

When they asked why I missed the meeting, and I explained why, they basically said they didn't believe me. I explicitly responded with "there is nothing, nothing, more offensive to me than to directly or indirectly imply that I am being less than honest." It doesn't help that I have been nothing but upfront and honest with them all along. They thought that they "had me" when they threw at me some comments that people in the team reported that I said, but I had my one moment of satisfaction in the meeting when I told them that yes, I had said those things, and proceeded to give them the context of the comments. It really killed their momentum for a minute; I think they thought they had caught me in a lie, and were thrown off when it turned out they were wrong.

So here I am now, having discovered that two years of hard work is essentially meaningless, and I have absolutely zero motivation to bother anymore. Why work my ass off when there's no point? All it'll take is one mistake to ruin that work, and considering that I'm only human, that's an inevitability.

These two are new to leadership positions, with no previous experience, and are understandably insecure about that. I've defended them up until now to teammates who were critical of them, understanding that their mistakes were just that: mistakes that anyone could make when new to that kind of role. But they really stepped over the line in that farce of a meeting yesterday. I've had it, and I can't defend them again.

It torques me off as well that their idea of corrective action for this one-time screw-up is to treat me like a child and "punish" me with a deduction from my year-end bonus and threats about "this will be on your record in the future when promotions are discussed." You know what? They can keep their "bonus" which is a laughable excuse of a bonus anyway, and I don't intend to be around long enough to worry about promotions. This job is just a means to an end, a way to pay the bills until I've gotten enough training/education to start my career in the emt/paramedic field.

I've never responded well to punishment anyway; it just makes me resent you and stop trying, especially when it's just one mistake and you're overreacting. I have a solid work ethic, I thrive on encouragement and constructive criticism, and if you can't recognize that, you don't belong in management.

I tell you what; if I ever have a job that's run by competent people, they will have the most loyal employee they could have ever hoped for, because I'm starting to realize how rare that is.

Just an additional detail; the comment about this job being a means to an end? While that is true, I still gave the job 100% effort all the time, because I''d be disappointed in myself if I did any less. They hired me to do a job, and I''m damn well going to do the best job I possibly can.

I just don''t want to give the impression that I don''t care; I do. I''m just angry that they seem to care less about that, and more about the fact that I made this mistake.

What was the team building meeting about? Will you tell us why you couldn''t make it?

The team building meeting was one of those types of meetings where they get everyone together (this time it was several teams) and do teamwork-type activities. This time it was to split everyone in teams, and list 15 arbitrary objects in order of how important they would be to survive a plane crash on a deserted island. Sounds like it was rather fun, and it''s a pity I missed it.

It was scheduled on my weekend (I''m on a non-standard workweek), and I forgot to set my own reminder for a week in advance so I wouldn''t forget. (this was scheduled about a month ago)

So... I forgot.

When they confronted me about it, I took complete responsibility for having missed the meeting. It was my responsibility to be there, and my responsibility to make sure that I did what was necessary to remember. I told them that I fully expected the reprimand, and that I deserve it; they won''t get any contest from me on any of those counts.

They don''t accept that, and think that I''m copping out, and that it was awfully convenient of me to ""forget"" the meeting. I think the reason they''re more upset is that our team is the only one that didn''t have full attendance, which puts a ding on their record.

I also apologized for that, and told them that I don''t believe they should be held accountable for my mistake, but I guess that''s the way the business world works: my superior officers are held accountable for my behavior. I can understand that, but it seems like it''s being taken to the extreme here.

To keep it in perspective, remember that my record is virtually spotless up to this point. I''ve never missed work without calling in ahead of time, I''m rarely late (rare as in once or maybe twice a year), and haven''t previously had to be ""disciplined"" in my two years of employment here.

I know this whole thread seems like a ""pity me!"" post, but I guess I''m looking for input about what I should do in this situation, or if I''m wrong to believe that this is probably irreparable and I should just try to get another job.

I was happy here until things started changing with new management, and everything started going a bit crazy. Even with that, though, I was dealing with things until they went overboard on me yesterday.

Are they so new they don''t know anything about your work history? Perhaps you could go to their bosses and apologise for missing the meeting and say that''s why they didn''t have perfect attendance. You could also say you were looking forward to it so you''re doubly annoyed you missed it.

If they can''t see sense - esp. considering the meeting was a load of old sh*t anyway (let''s be honest) - then you''re better than the company and should get the hell out of dodge.

It doesn''t sound like a ""pity me"" post.

From the way you''ve presented it, I''d be outraged too.

However, from having witnessed a few of these sorts of situations before, it probably doesn''t have anything to do with your having missed a few meetings. Have you considered that they may be trying to force you out? If you are as good an employee as you say you are, they may feel threatened by you. As new and inexperienced managers, they''re probably feeling pretty insecure in their authority and may be trying to crack the whip as a way of demonstrating it.

Or you could just have some managers with a really broken set of interpersonal and managerial skills. Unfortunately, this isn''t all that uncommon.

As with many things in life, the best thing to do is take a deep breath, stay calm and rational, and keep your options open.

Sounds like pretty poor management and/or leadership within the ranks so to speak. However, the reality is and why we have a saying in the Navy is ""One awww sh*t can ruin 100 attaboys"". It isnt fair, it isnt right, but it tends to be the case that employers only remember the immediate vice the long-term. That being said - if you hadnt been counseled/reprimanded/documented previously then I imagine any punitive action particularly annual reviews/penalty against bonus etc... that were implemented you would have a legitimate grievance. I dont know anything about the civilian work force and have been part of Uncle Sugar''s family for about 14 yrs now so I may be naive.

"Farscry" wrote:

I know this whole thread seems like a ""pity me!"" post

Nope, I agree with polq37. It sounds like you have your head around this pretty well whether you realize it or not. My advice would be to ride things out for a bit. If their attitude doesn''t improve try to step up the pace on your EMT plans. Just remember, 15 and 2.

Plus you''ve probably made dozens of people besides me appreciate their jobs all the more.

Hey, Doc Awk, what do you mean by the 15 and 2?

One thing I realize I didn''t mention; they''re new to being leaders of the team, but have been in my department since before I was hired. Basically, they were grunts just like I am until this spring when they were promoted as our previous team leads moved on to other things.

SpyNavy, you do have a point about the 1 ""awwww sh*t"" ruining 100 ""attaboy!""s. It''s quite true; we tend to forget the positive and remember the negative. You do bring up a good point about the legitimate grievance, though; if this winds up being the only negative remark on my review, and is given too much weight, I do have the right to petition HR to review the case. I don''t know if I''ll bother; again, it''s my hope to be out of here within a year if possible.

I''m trying to calm down, but it''s not easy. I don''t get this angry very easily or often, but when I do... not pretty.

Thanks, guys; it does make me feel better to have affirmation that I''m not just feeling indignant, but actually have a good enough reason to feel that the treatment I received is unfair. I''m hoping that this doesn''t become one of those hostile workplace situations. They''ve been really harsh on several people lately, but I thought those folks were exaggerating until it happened to me.

I tell you what; if I ever have a job that''s run by competent people, they will have the most loyal employee they could have ever hoped for, because I''m starting to realize how rare that is.

Unfortunately, you''re absolutely right. I''ve worked 5 places in the 8 years I''ve been out of college, and only once have I worked under a manager I felt was truly good at his job. Even then, the management over him was somewhat clueless. Good managers are absolutely worth their weight in gold.

Full agreement with everyone else - the situation truly sucks and clearly has nothing to do with you. Heck, even if you were skipping out, they were bizarrely harsh with you. I''ve worked places where people regularly developed mysterious illnesses before team-building events, and management generally ignored it.

My guess is that other people are skipping out on the team building meetings and they were looking for someone to use as an ""example"", so that everyone else would stop. They thought your co-workers comments indicated that you were deliberately skipping and picked you for that delightful spot. When you rightfully challenged their assertion, they didn''t feel confident enough in their positions to admit they''d made a mistake.

It might not be as bad as it seems. Since you have a case that you could set before HR (and their managers) that they were clearly unfair, I''m not sure they''ll carry through on their nuclear option. M.A.D. and all that.

The team building meeting was one of those types of meetings where they get everyone together (this time it was several teams) and do teamwork-type activities. This time it was to split everyone in teams, and list 15 arbitrary objects in order of how important they would be to survive a plane crash on a deserted island. Sounds like it was rather fun, and it''s a pity I missed it.

Are you serious? Companies/People still do those kind of things?

Sounds like something straight out of Dilbert.

Yeah, companies still do that, GameGuru. Thing is, there are enough good people I work with that it very well could be fun, depending on which group I was tossed into.

But also, it certainly has that cheese factor of desperation to force people into coporate cheerleaders.

So here I am now, having discovered that two years of hard work is essentially meaningless, and I have absolutely zero motivation to bother anymore. Why work my ass off when there''s no point? All it''ll take is one mistake to ruin that work, and considering that I''m only human, that''s an inevitability.

Another spirit broken by poor management. The sad part is that in a lot of places the managers wanttheir employees to be mediocre so they won''t have any competition for their jobs and they know what to expect. I suggest giving them what they want (mediocrity) until you can get the hell out of there.

I''ve actually run an experiment along these lines before. I worked in a place where if you busted your ass to finish early, worked long hours, etc. you were given a pat on the head and ''rewarded'' with more work. I got sick of it and decided to see how far I could push it until I got fired.

I ended up ''working'' about 6 hours a day at the most. The sad part is, I was given a raise and continually praised by management for doing almost no work other than play office politics. I finally found something better and quit, and now I do real work. Those office politics skills that I picked up have proved to be the most valulable part of working at that place.

That''s depressing, Minase. Like I said, I''m starting to lose what naivete I had left. Too bad the world works this way; I wish it were otherwise, but it doesn''t look like I can make a difference.

This incident sounds like another fine example of exceptionally poor management/leadership. I''m, sorry to hear that such suckitude was spewed in your direction, Farscry.

Run them through with a sharp object and douse them with a bucket of bilge water.

"Farscry" wrote:

One thing I realize I didn''t mention; they''re new to being leaders of the team, but have been in my department since before I was hired. Basically, they were grunts just like I am until this spring when they were promoted as our previous team leads moved on to other things.

Sounds like it''s a combination of covering their asses and feeling betrayed, both of which are perfectly understandable.

Obviously, they''re trying to make sure they appear to management as though they deserve the promotion and are willing ""to make the tough choices.""

I imagine they''re smarting a bit themselves though. I mean, you were a grunt right next to them and, by missing their (presumably) first test at proving their leadership ""skills,"" they probably saw that as an attack. Any chance they think you''re jealous of their promotion? You said you defended them, but did that ever get back to them?

Then again, I''d find the leadership a little lacking if they didn''t leave you friendly reminder, what with being on a different schedule and all. Hmmm... I wouldn''t rule out the possibility they''re trying to out you, but they don''t sound that dastardly.

If you''re in good standing with their bosses, I''d quietly arrange to talk with them about it. If you can''t patch things up nicely, maybe you could get moved to a different team.

"Farscry" wrote:

Hey, Doc Awk, what do you mean by the 15 and 2?

CPR, man. 15 compressions and 2 breaths. At least thats what it was last time I had to take a course.

"slambie" wrote:

Run them through with a sharp object and douse them with a bucket of bilge water.

Yes! Why to do I think of the end of Animal House when I read that line?

I despize office politics. Mirror image here Farscry, management wise. They made me into ""do ONLY what you absolutely MUST, and NEVER volunteer for ANYTHING"" type of worker. It''s about the only way to get by, stay sane and prevent getting an ulcer. Man, I just can''t wait to get out of this place...

Sounds like you just lacked proper social networking. They probably just didn''t like you so much to begin with, you made them look bad, and they don''t care about your year end bonus, or why the hell you weren''t at the meeting.

If you were more appreciated, you''d just have gotten a reprimand, but they seem to have exaggerated a bit.

Or perhaps they''re just not good leaders.

But the fact remains you missed a somewhat important meeting. And ""I forgot"" is just not a good excuse to bring to the HR people.

There''s a degree of politics in every work environment. I guess you''re supposed to read the 48 laws of power or something. And I don''t think you can really stay out of it. So either embrace it or stay behind.

But ""giving up"" and joining the ranks of the mediocre is not a proper ""vengeance"". Remember you own your life and your work, and even if you plan on leaving, don''t slack off.

Also, don''t take this as an excuse to get depressed.

That''s depressing, Minase. Like I said, I''m starting to lose what naivete I had left. Too bad the world works this way; I wish it were otherwise, but it doesn''t look like I can make a difference.

Just think of it as encouragement to go get your medical training. They are so hard up for people in that field that you can always find another job if/when you discover that you''re working for idiots.

Saving peoples lives will make a difference, regardless of what your pointy-haired bosses might do to your career.

"Mex" wrote:

Also, don''t take this as an excuse to get depressed. :P

Actually, for once, I''m too angry to get depressed.

You guys are really giving me some sound advice, and I very much appreciate it. May you all have kind managers and be appreciate in your jobs!

I certainly will be keeping these experiences in mind if I''m ever forced to be a manager myself, though I''d rather not ever be in that position.

And your points, Mex, that the reason I missed the meeting isn''t really a good reason; well, you''re right. Like I said; I certainly take full responsibility for this, and it''s my own fault that I didn''t ensure I had enough set to remind myself that it was coming. I never contested the need for the reprimand; I''m only contesting that it seems rather overboard, and not the ""docking your bonus"" part; I couldn''t care less about that.

The one thing, more than anything else, that has me still so cheesed off is that they basically said I was lying, and that they can''t trust me anymore. I''ve been their rock on Saturdays for well over a year, and nothing wrong has been done that can be pinned on my group in all that time that I''ve been the main person on duty, because I take my responsibilities very seriously and am more proactive than most of my peers. And they say they can''t trust me? I don''t see where they can get off saying that just over one meeting. And don''t even let me get started again on the lying part. Like I said; nothing is more offensive to me than to imply that I''m dishonest.

Bah; I better calm down. Hopefully I can chill out enough to be okay when I go back to work Wednesday.

Yeah, chill out. Are you going to go and talk to them about how well you''ve been working?

Tell them that ""Bagga says to eat sh*t and die,"" because that''s what they should do. Nobody deserves to treated like a child; and by acting the way they did they proved they''re children. I''ve found that anytime I''m not present for some ""meeting"" or other pointless activity, I get screwed because everyone''s trying to make everyone else look bad. It''s one thing when a peon of equal status tries to screw you, but when managers do it that''s just pathetic. Success in an office environment is rarely due to fulfilling your duties successfully; most of the time it''s because of politic-ing skills.

So what 15 items would people take with them on a deserted Island??

A Fire Hydrant, a gas powered turtleneck sweater, fuzzy dice, a bag of All Bran, three small PC speakers, the first full season of Jake 2.0 on burned VCD''s, a pair of silicone breast implants, three empty bags of doritos, a 120 pack of condoms, a piggybank, the book ""A Flat Stomach ASAP"", an Xbox controller''s cut cord, a big ass sombrero, a mumu, and Greta Garbo''s reanimated corpse (To keep me company, of course).

Life on deserted islands is grand!

"Mex" wrote:

A Fire Hydrant, a gas powered turtleneck sweater, fuzzy dice, a bag of All Bran, three small PC speakers, the first full season of Jake 2.0 on burned VCD''s, a pair of silicone breast implants, three empty bags of doritos, a 120 pack of condoms, a piggybank, the book ""A Flat Stomach ASAP"", an Xbox controller''s cut cord, a big ass sombrero, a mumu, and Greta Garbo''s reanimated corpse (To keep me company, of course).

The ultimate survival kit right there.

"Farscry" wrote:

Like I said; nothing is more offensive to me than to imply that I''m dishonest.

Perhaps it would help your credibility if you took off the pirate hat and kitty suit for the meeting? There''s a fine line between ""eccentric genius"" and ""just plain nuts""...

"Mex" wrote:

Yeah, chill out. Are you going to go and talk to them about how well you''ve been working?

Actually, I did bring up that I always put in more time and effort than anyone expects, because that''s what I expect of myself. Their response was ""isn''t that what we''re paying you to do? Don''t you get a paycheck every two weeks?""

Bah.

"KillerTomato" wrote:

Perhaps it would help your credibility if you took off the pirate hat and kitty suit for the meeting? There''s a fine line between ""eccentric genius"" and ""just plain nuts""... ;)

But... that''s why I was made the department mascot! They used to think it was charming and contributed to a friendly work environment...

They probably didn''t like clicking email attachments and being sent to a dancing kitty animation...

Actually, I did bring up that I always put in more time and effort than anyone expects, because that''s what I expect of myself. Their response was ""isn''t that what we''re paying you to do? Don''t you get a paycheck every two weeks?""

No. It''s not. They pay you to do your job, not to exceed it. If you want to, and can, that''s your call, and you should gently remind them if they push that you can become a clock-watching dawdler if they like. Exceeding it is what you get bonuses for, not what they get for paying you for 40.

That''s up there with ""...and all the children are above average"" or ""sure, we''re paid for 40 hours but everyone does at least 50"". All the words are good English, sure, but they really can''t use them that way.

Maybe you can leave anonymously leave a good management book lying around for them to find. Or a copy of ""Once An Eagle"". It''s been known to work.

Robear