Uh... Shaving? (NWS dialog)

Legs don''t itch much re-growing hair, at least if you wax. Plus, waxing makes cool noises, kinda like leathered skin tearing.

...or so I''ve heard. From a friend. Who read it in a magazine in a foreign country.

Hey Chumpy,

how come ever since you took your wife to the spa, you have been limping so much.

You don''t need to use a razor. Get yourself an electrim trimmer such as Wahl or Norelco for $20-$30 at any pharmacy, and set it to the closest setting and don''t attach any heads. Does job faster, safer and more reliable than shaving. Great for legs and chest/stomach. It won''t clip the hair completely, however the tiny stubble that remains is not coarse and should not feel sharp, and besides, there won''t be any in-grown hairs or irritations.

If having a smooth body makes you feel overly metrosexual, then, I dunno. Attach the smallest head available with your trimmer, perhaps, to get that hunky, casual, semi-smooth look.

Or, if it the idea itself that disturbs you.... Dunno what to recommend. Swarvery''s wife seems pretty determined. Anyone here know a good marriage councellor here?

"Sanjuro" wrote:
"Garrad" wrote:

The itching is like nothing you have ever experienced in your life.

And that my friends, is why God invented Nair.

Just what I want to do, put something that burns the hair off on my nuts.

No thanks.

"Garrad" wrote:

Hey Sanjuro,

do you live in a tropic climate? down in the south....

Cuz up here in Canada, we keep all our hair. Helps prevent frostbite during the Canadian winters, and let me tell you, frostbite on the jumblies is even worse than the itchies

Of course I like to do a little trim during our 1 week of summer....

:-D

Gar-

I mean no disrespect, but if you want to keep your junk warm in Canada, you should try PANTS. The last time pubic hair was the primary means of retaining crotch warmth in the winter was the Paleolithic Era.

I do live in San Diego, to be sure, but if your junk is getting cold, buy some warmer underwear, don''t grow a jungle canopy.

I say shave. Shave everything; legs, back, hands, eyebrows, eyelashes, everything. Then cover yourself in butter and see how close you can come to being completely frictionless. See if your wife really likes having a hairless, frictionless freak around.

Of course, if she does, your fsked...

Just what I want to do, put something that burns the hair off on my nuts.

I laughed so much at that.

Anyway, I hope you found this guide helpful, Swarvey (and any of the rest of you who are too chicken to ask). I''ve been doing this for years, and I''m still the epitome of heterosexual masculinity that I always ways. Girls really appreciate a relatively hairless nether region on a guy. Anything that encourages her to be adventurous down there is totally worth doing.

I gotta ask, I just have to. Are we talking just the hedge here or ball-sack and all? The idea if lowering any sharp things down to that area gives me the heebie jeebies.

The idea if lowering any sharp things down to that area gives me the heebie jeebies.

Amen. I don''t even like trimming, let alone trimming close. ""Sharp"" and ""scrotum"" should never come together...

Edit: How does one shave a sac with a razor, anyway? Not to get too detailed, but one would think that wrinkles get in the way, and trying to smooth those wrinkles out is a less than pleasant sensation.

"Certis" wrote:

I gotta ask, I just have to. Are we talking just the hedge here or ball-sack and all? The idea if lowering any sharp things down to that area gives me the heebie jeebies.

To use your euphemisms I use clippers to trim the hedge, and Nair on the ball-sack. When I shaved the balls, I''d use a disposable gillette razor. It''s perfectly safe as long as you''re not coming home from the bar thinking, ""it''s nut-shavin'' time!""

mean no disrespect, but if you want to keep your junk warm in Canada, you should try PANTS.

reply 1)
Yes perhaps, but then how will I attract a mate without her seeing my carefully braided and bead decorated leg and armpit hair, fluttering in the breeze as I run through the tundra( for you Chumpy).

reply 2)
Well I had some nice pants, made out of baby seal skins, but then there was this forumn post about the clubbing of baby seals...

reply 3)
<--have you seen my avatar, the other bears will laugh at me

say shave. Shave everything; legs, back, hands, eyebrows, eyelashes, everything. Then cover yourself in butter and see how close you can come to being completely frictionless. See if your wife really likes having a hairless, frictionless freak around.

Can''t.... stop.... laughing!

It''s perfectly safe as long as you''re not coming home from the bar thinking, ""it''s nut-shavin'' time!""

I can honestly say that thought has never entered my mind.

I don''t know guys, San does it and he''s a pretty cool guy AND he shoots guns and stuff.

How does one shave a sac with a razor, anyway? Not to get too detailed, but one would think that wrinkles get in the way, and trying to smooth those wrinkles out is a less than pleasant sensation

A good swift kick should cause enough swelling to smooth out all those wrinkles

San does it and...he shoots guns and stuff.

Maybe that''s why he shoots guns and stuff, rather than driving a big car...

BTW there are these relatively new Schick Intuinion shaving cartridges for ladies out there. It''s a shaver cartridge inside a bar of solid lotion. If you''re preferring shaving, these are by far the best if compared to conventional razor + gel/lather. The lotion bar depletes and wears out pretty fast, though, and these things aren''t cheap.

"Chumpy_McChump" wrote:

Edit: How does one shave a sac with a razor, anyway? Not to get too detailed, but one would think that wrinkles get in the way, and trying to smooth those wrinkles out is a less than pleasant sensation.

Wrinkles? What, are you some kind of freak?

<---smooth as a baby''s ass.

"DocGhastly" wrote:

]
<---smooth as a baby''s ass.

Um... I don''t think that makes me the freak... Right, guys? Guys? Back me up on this one?

Please?

Edit:

"DocGhastly" wrote:

I shave my nuts with a chainsaw.

I think that supports my suggestion that DG is the freak.

"Certis" wrote:

I don''t know guys, San does it and he''s a pretty cool guy AND he shoots guns and stuff.

Pfft. Wuss.

I shoot guns and I shave my nuts with a chainsaw.

I shoot guns and I shave my nuts with a chainsaw

Does one use 5W30 or 10W30 as a lubricant when chainsaw shaving, or have you come up with your own special mix of industrial chemicals

"Garrad" wrote:
I shoot guns and I shave my nuts with a chainsaw

Does one use 5W30 or 10W30 as a lubricant when chainsaw shaving, or have you come up with your own special mix of industrial chemicals

WD40 actually.

Ol'' fashioned cooking lard, perhaps?

"Chumpy_McChump" wrote:

Um... I don''t think that makes me the freak... Right, guys? Guys? Back me up on this one?

Please?

It depends, really. Sometimes smooth, other times it looks like a brain.

It''s the brain times that I''m thinking of. Thank you for not letting me think that my scrotum is unusual (or at least unique).

This is quickly getting Non-Work-Safe (or at least just plain revolting).

This is the single most disturbing thread I''ve ever seen on this site.

And knowing the kind of stuff we''re always posting, that says a lot.

I''ll have to say I tried it once and I nipped my nuts. It hurt like a mother. Women be damned, no more knives are going near my jewels again!

"Chumpy_McChump" wrote:

San does it and...he shoots guns and stuff.

Maybe that''s why he shoots guns and stuff, rather than driving a big car... ;)

I only shoot guns because the government makes me do it at work. It''s like being a reverse postal worker

"Dr.Ghastly" wrote:

I shoot guns and I shave my nuts with a chainsaw.

Pff. Whatever. I shoot chainsaws and shave my nuts with a gun.

I''m so stoked that I made Chumpy''s signature! You can totally look me in the face, dude! I bet you''ve got a ton of friends with no scrotal hair, I''m just one of the few that''s secure enough to discuss it in public.

Pffft. I shoot chainsaws at my nuts!

"Dr.Ghastly" wrote:

Pffft. I shoot chainsaws at my nuts!

Not impressed. I saw through chains with my nuts!