Today's AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH Story.

From Yahoo/AP

That's what he gets for saying "a little off the top, please."

This is the best: ""Mr. Ralls was not informed that he was going to wake up and not have a penis.""

Did they put it back?

Wow. And I thought I had a bad day. Suddenly my day seems all warm, happy thoughts...

You know, I''m a pacifist, but I think having that happen to me might actually result in some violence!

(Special note: I don''t believe that everyone needs to be a pacifist; I just can''t bring myself to hurt anyone)