How to turn your significant other into a gamer

This is part 1. Got to get back to work. Enjoy!

Throughout the years this question has baffled minds across the planet. If only she played games too, that would mean more time playing games and a justification of the money spent. In your wildest fantasies, your mate actually pushes you out the door to buy new games or asks that you and her play the game naked (maybe that's just me).

Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to tell you that I've pulled it off. Not with just one, but with my last three major relationships. A tomboy, a financial advisor and now my wife the physical therapist. I'm living the gamers fantasy, and have even had to TELL HER we're spending to much money on games.

I know, it sounds crazy, but if you follow these tips it will get you well on the path to this dream.

Rules of conduct:

#1 - and this is the biggest tip, SHUT THE HELL UP. Don't say ANYTHING. Not one suggestion. ZIP IT! If she's struggling at all, say NOTHING but that she's doing fine. or "I had trouble with that at first too". Only offer your advice if she asks for it. I don't care if it takes 20 minutes for her to open the door, sit quietly and wait with a warm smile on your face. This is harder than it sounds.

#2 - At some point tell her how you enjoy spending this time together (you do, just make sure she knows it). Whenever you get to obstacles in the game, say things like "We can get through it." "We can do it". "We rock" We, and us.

#3 - Complement anything she does in the game, but don't go overboard or you'll look fake. Be encouraging. Point out anything that she does better than you in the game and put it to use. "Your characters better at magic than mine, you can take down this monster faster ....." Stuff like that.

#4 - Be happy and light hearted. If your serious, short tempered, impatient, or bored, you can forget it. If she sees your really happy about her playing, she may just continue to make you happy.

These things work. I've had other friends us them with positive results. One friend of mine has those tips printed out and keeps them near his Xbox (he made the mistake of asking his girlfriend if she were stupid).

Tune in tomorrow when we cover PC gaming and which games are great to get the ball rolling.

Game on!


Where the hell have you been all my life?

Edit: I suppose it could work for trying to get your mate into any of your hobbies. Photography, gardening, wood-working, knitting, amateur porn...

Yes, copying this and handing it to my fiance on paper....tonight.

I always seem to blow rule #1! I just can''t keep my mouth shut.

""NO!!! Not like that you moron!""

For some reason they never like hearing that.

My suggestions:

Path #1

Get a Gamecube. Get Animal Crossing.

Path #2

Get a Dreamcast. Get Virtua Tennis 1 or 2. Invite 2 other friends of yours (another couple works best), who also lack videogame experience. Play.

Path #3

Get a Gamecube and do the same thing described in path #2 with Mario Party 4. After that some Monkey Target in Monkey Ball.

Path #2 and #3 can be combined, of course. It definitely works. At our multiplayer sessions we have usually 20-25 people around, and 95% usually don''t play videogames. And half of those earlier thought games are stupid. Mario Party and Virtua Tennis happen to be the most popular multiplayer games among the players (including the female participants).

Good info. I can see a couple of rules I violate, have to try harder.

The first game my wife and I really played together was Gauntlet Dark Legacy on PS2. And I can heartily endorse, having learned the hard way, to shut the heck up while she''s learning how to do the game. Even playing a little badly yourself is maybe a good idea.

She knew I''d been playing games since I was 10. She knew she hadn''t and felt very intimidated. Things I pick up naturally she had to learn the hard and slow way. But after the first two worlds (think 5 levels each) she actually was getting pretty good and we''d plan strategy together, etc.

For BG Dark Alliance she had zero interest in doing the gear buying thing. No big deal. ""I''d love a drink or something. Could you please please get us drinks and I''ll do the shopping?"" Definitely the way to go. Do the boring stuff while she''s elsewhere. letting her pick upgrades whether they''re a good way to go or not. making suggestiongs only when she asks me specifically which ones to get. letting her bull rush all over the fricking place while I try to keep us from dying. lol. and in those thief trap areas, just letting her die, twitching my way through, and then reviving her at the end...boy i''m glad that worked out.

Baldurs Gate DA is a great one to start with. It went the same way with me only I''d usually get us drinks while she shoped. She liked looking at each thing you could buy, regardless of whether or not she could afford it - just like in real life!

The trap thing was the same. I''d tiptoe and bring her back on the other side.

Fun game, we can''t wait for the next one.

Ridlin, I am SO glad you have come to our forum!

This issue has been mentioned on these boards a few times, but it really deserves a thread of its own.

I''ve not much to add, except that all women will bow before the might of Dr. Mario. I''m not sure why. Maybe it''s cos he''s a doctor.

I think in general they enjoy 2 player games more than a single player experience, with a few exceptions, like Rayman and those kinds of games.

Stuff where you play and the woman watches... Whew. That''s been a sure-fire failure for every single girl I''ve dated.

If you EVER get a woman who will not beg for your attention while you are playing FFX (and even more, if she actually pretends to be interested in the game for more than an hour,) MARRY HER. MARRY HER NOW, YOU IDIOT.

I did. I got her into House of the Dead on DC, then moved her to crazy taxi.

Then, even which even I didn''t expect, I somehow got her into No One Lives Forever. That changed everything.

If you want to help your lady get into FPS''s on the PC, you have to turn the controls back to doom.

I remember showing my father half life and him looking at me like I was from mars when I told him he had to use WASD to move. ""I thought this was like doom?"" he said.

So I changed the controls to move forward on the left mouse button and he was happy.

I did the same thing with Jackie and she was happy with NOLF.

There''s a big tip for you all.

I was going to write a part two, but since this post has gained so little attention I guess we are the only guys WITH WOMEN and the rest arn''t interested.

So I''ll just get part 2 in this post at lunch today.

I am ready for part 2 !!

So am I. My woman LOVES Super Monkey Ball but when I offered to buy her a GC, she adamantly refused. I also realize that Monkey Ball is a ""Gateway Drug"" for getting women involved, so naturally I jumped at the chance to get her hooked. The first hit''s always free, ya know. Unfortunatly, (and maybe I was too anxious), she remembered her days in the ""Just Say No"" club and insisted that I be the only gaming dork in the house. *sob*

Hmm, GC''s are pretty cheap these days...

I brought hoochie onto gaming through Everquest when we lived together. It''s hardly fighting fair but that''s life

From there is was just a matter of time before her love of fantasy brought her into Drakan, Heretic 2 and eventually Jedi Knight 2. If it''s 3rd person and there are swords of some kind she''s a happy hoochie. She won''t play anything against me though, she''s pretty competitive so she just avoids it for the sake of our relationship which is fine.

These days we''re always sniffing around for a coop game we''ll both like. Neverwinter Nights has gotten a play through and so did Dungeon Siege, both excellent coop games.

Okay, we''ve got conduct down, now let''s move on to games and other details.

What''s more appealing or important to woman gamers is not whether or not the main character''s body proportions are correct, it''s how they are portrayed.

If the main character is a strong - take no crap - kinda gal, women will like it. Even with Laura Crofts curvaceous figure, all three of my past major relationships had gotten into Tomb Raider. Now I''m not telling you to run out get tomb raider, I''m merely pointing out how the character was portrayed.

Another great one is NOLF. She''s witty, smart, doesn''t go for any BS, etc .... If you spot this type of game, it''s gotten a better chance than the others.

A bad one would be Fear Effect 2. A mistake I made some time ago. She was not impressed at all.

PC gaming

Unless you''ve got two networked PCs and can play together, this is a more difficult road for you to travel. Your biggest lure in the gaming water is the time spent together having fun. PCs make this more difficult.

Sure you can get them into cards, Bejeweled, maybe even The Sims. and doing that will do some good, but the goal of this guide is to get them playing the games that you like.

My wife has played several other shooters on the PC now, and every one of them she makes me reconfigure the controls.
Make going forward the right mouse button
Spin wheel for weapon select
Middle button re-load.
If you have one of the more fancier mice, set up other buttons to make the controls easier.

Her first game you should already be well familiar with. Select a FPS with a good tutorial and a nice story (NOLF 1, MOH) and tell her you want to watch. That you promise you''ll follow rule one and say nothing unless asked. That can be difficult, but just like teaching a child how to ride a bike, eventually you can just let go and they will keep riding on their own. You''ll come home one day to find her in the game without you.

Battlefield 1942 (online only, don''t do that single player game) was another one she recently got into. She called me at work the other day to tell me how excited she was because she had gotten used to driving the tank.

Console gaming

Console gaming is much more approachable to the ladies. If you own a console I suggest starting there before getting onto PC gaming.

The single biggest lure is playing the game together. Follow the rules and it will turn out okay. CO-OP is the best, but other single player games are fun as long as you keep passing the control back and forth.

You go to hand her the controller,

""No, your much better than me, you go ahead""

Do NOT go ahead. Do NOT get angry. Remind her that you thought we were playing this game together.

""Yeah, but I''m ....""

Your loosing her, this is a critical moment. Tell her your in no hurry, I don''t care how you do, I need a break go ahead, I think you play just fine, whatever it takes to get that controller in her hand.

If she refuses to play, prepare to stop playing the game. Do NOT get angry, that''s difficult, but important.

""I really wanted to play this game with you, but we can just watch a movie or something .....""

Do not continue without her playing. If you really want to get her into gaming it''s what you have to do. Just shut it off and say something like ""maybe we can try later"". You may eventually dismiss the game all together. Have heart and just try again with another game. A co-op game.

Sorry I''ve got to get back to work. More later.

Hope this helps someone out there!


Excellent work Rob, very good advice for those who need it.

You go to hand her the controller,

""No, your much better than me, you go ahead""

Do NOT go ahead. Do NOT get angry. Remind her that you thought we were playing this game together.

""Yeah, but I''m ....""

Your loosing her, this is a critical moment.

So very true.

Reading this really makes me want to kick myself for selling my Xbox. She thinks PC gaming is for dorks but let''s me do what I want in regards to the PC because I am in IT. She enjoyed the Xbox I had and now only plays the Gameboy SP which isn''t a multi option because I don''t want to buy another SP !!

If she refuses to touch the machine you''ve got your hands tied.

Maybe you can sneak her in there starting with Bejewled. Ever hear of that game?

BIG game with the ladies.

If this game doesn''t get her in nothing will.

Even still, this is a long ways from getting her into games you like.

Maybe you could take a long shot and go with NOLF 1 and the I''ll sit and watch thing.

Or heck, I hear they are lowing the price of the consoles again soon.

Well, funny you mention that because she loves Bejewled and plays it for hours on weekends sometimes but to her that isn''t really a ""PC"" game. She just feels like it is a ""tetris"" game on a bigger screen.

I found the easiest way to do it was to plop them down in front of Soldier of Fortune (no lie) they just seem to dig that game.

Ok, now for an unusual question. Any changes to the above suggestions for getting our husbands into games?

I play FPS, strategy, RPG, flight sims, driving, practically everything except platforms and sports (except nascar). You''d think I could get my police officer husband interested especially in those genres. Several of our friends game, all the guys, not many of the girls. He liked swat, and rogue spear but even after playing and liking it, I couldn''t get him to sit down and try it again later.

Strategies guys?

Bet no one thought of this problem before. lol

I didn''t think it existed. Boys love their toys! You may want to try playing a few sports games. Get some of his guy friends to come over with a football game or something and let them go at. I always enjoyed those, even when I found myself not playing much of anything else.

Any changes to the above suggestions for getting our husbands into games?

I would imagine they''re much the same as dealing with women, just try more butt slapping and arm punching when he does good.

You also have the advantage of bribing him with sex, hoochie just laughs and laughs when I offer sex as a bribe but I would imagine you''d have better luck.

hoochie just laughs and laughs

I assume you refer to your signifigant other as ""hoochie"", Certis? If not, you gave me a hell of an image to sleep on...

What, you don''t have a friend in your basement?

I assume you refer to your signifigant other as ""hoochie"", Certis? If not, you gave me a hell of an image to sleep on...

Considering that''s the name she uses in the forums that what I used to refer to her, yeah.

What, you don''t have a friend in your basement?

You see, if I meant The Gimp I would have said The Gimp.

What, you got a basement complete with gimp with your new house, Certis? That''s one hell of a real estate agent you got there!

i dont have much to add about getting girls to play, my longtime girl sat through almost all of FFX, but refuses to touch anything that has to do with a video game.

Basically, i play when shes not around, and don''t play when she is.....

Bimmer did pose an interesting problem though, most guys will play at least one genre, but someone who plays none? Dont know what to say to that.........

I would think you''d want to try a co-op game, bimmer. The two games I mentioned above seems universally fun. Any game with split screens for four players can make fun game at party (just add drinking) especially with rule that the *winner* has to sit out. Did that with Twisted Metal Black (drive and shoot game) and gamer friends and non-gamer friends had a blast. Eventually the two of us who were real good at it just sat out altogether, and picked a ""buddy"" to coach...which was even funnier (""turn right, turn right, turn right, SHOOT HIM SHOOT HIM). Chaotic, but drunken fun nonetheless.

Best. Thread. Ever.

BG:DA on Xbox did the trick with my ex-girlfriend. She _really_ digged the shopping part and she kept picking up the goodies while I was still fighting for our lives. I highly recommend this game.

My new girlfriend had never played a single game in her entire life before meeting me and I''ve yet to convert her into a gamer but the work has begun. This time the game is Eternal Darkness on the GC and she digs it so far. I''m not sure if she would enjoy BG:DA since she doesn''t like the fighting aspect of ED, but hey, I''ll give it a try. Nothing beats coop.

One advice I would add is to let her call the gaming sessions. Nothing beats the feeling of having your sweetie ask you to play a game. She has to enjoy playing games, not play em to please you.

"Ridlin" wrote:

Maybe you can sneak her in there starting with Bejewled. Ever hear of that game?

BIG game with the ladies.

If this game doesn''t get her in nothing will.

Bookworm is working well with my lady. As a matter of fact, it''s actually cutting into my pc access time. And thanks to Ridlin, it''s all part of my master plan....