Bad movies everyone should/shouldn't see

The other movie thread (good movies) has prompted me to ask the question:

What terrible movies should everyone see, just for the sake of seeing it? **
Or what terrible movies should everyone avoid because they're so damn awful?

Must See Trash

Rollerball (the new one) - this movie is so awful, but so much fun to watch. Once you finish this gem, listen to some of the audio commentary for insight form LL CoolJ such as "Yeah... yeah... yeah!" and "C'mon!" and "Quit frontin' Chris, you know you're all about the money" and "C'mon! Drive that truck L!"

Battlefield Earth - I own this movie. Bought it the day it hit shelves, and boy was it worth it. Not only is the movie terrible, but the commentary makes it even better. "In 20 years people will understand this film, just like what happened to Star Wars"

Blood Diner - Best crappy horror movie ever made.

Movies to avoid:

I'll make this quick.

Batman & Robin
The Crow 2: City of Angels

**When I recommend a bad movie, I also recommend that it be watched with a group of friend so you can all yell at the stupid thing.

""In 20 years people will understand this film, just like what happened to Star Wars""

You wish!

actually the worst film I''ve seen by far and boy I''ve seen some bad ones, but this one I returned to Blockbuster and demanded my money back was Ticker starring Steve Segal. Talk about bad! they should bomb Iraq with copies of this film, the population would run away in fear rather than come anywhere near this film. Makes Battlefield Earth look like Oscar material!

Let''s see..

Bad, but worth a watch

Hackers : This one is a gem indeed! It''s so cyber-punk-esque that it totally fails in what I''m sure it meant to do. But failing in one department really makes this movie a good time to watch. So bad it''s funny.

DO NOT WATCH, Elves. Where to begin with this one? I love a good ""bad"" movie, ''cuz they''re usually pretty funny. Unfortunately, this is probably the only movie to date that I felt cheated out of the time I put into it. So horibbly bad. DO NOT WATCH IT!

Ah Hackers. I really like the new box they have for that one:

Hackers - Starring Angelina Jolie

Don''t all computer nerds ride skateboards? I sure do.

Steven Segal and Jean Claude VanDamme. I think they''ve both been in 2 good movies a piece. But then again, it''s not Segals fault, its that damn German mafia!

How could you forget Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever. Saw this with my buddy and just laughed the whole time.

Best part is the car chase at 10 mph.

Flash Gordon, but only with friends and while drunk.

Dumdumdumdumdumdumdumdumdumdum Flash (BOOM) Ahhhahhhh! He saved every one of us! dumdumdumdumdum....

- Elysium

And at about 10 seconds before the Moon was going to crash into Earth:

Flash Gordon, you have saved your planet!

Flash...ahhh ahhhh!

Nukie... pure, unadultered HELL

Titanic. Just to see Jack friggin drown at the end! Two boring hours of cliched love triangle just to get to the damn thing hitting the iceberg. Most overated movie of the last decade IMHO.

Edit; I take that back, Independence Day was actually a lot worse IMO, and that movie raked in the dough too.

I actually kinda dug Hackers. As goofy as their computer effects were, it was still kinda enjoyable. Thinking of Cyberpunk movies made me think of Johnny Mnemonic. I''m a huge William Gibson fan, so the butchering of that story in the movie was very sad. It also has Keanu Reeves so the acting is minimal. On the other hand, it has Dina Meyer, who is always nice to look at.

Johnny Mnemonic

* shudder * Now that was a bad movie. It was memories of Johnny Mnemonic that almost prevented me from going to see the Matrix when it first came out.

One of the worst movies I paid to see, Highlander II: The Quickening. Truly awful. Come to think of it, Sean Connery was also in The Avengers, Rising Sun and Medicine Man. All terrible movies I paid money to watch. Talk about permanent scars, I should''ve invested the money in a tatoo instead.

The Avengers

Ahhh! Damn you FuzzyCuddleWumpus! I''d successfully managed to supress memories of just how bad that film was deep deep inside my subconcious and now it''s all coming back. Noooooooo!

Crap movie not to see:

Man''s Best Friend

Crap movie to see:

Starship Troopers

My most recent disappointment was Star Trek: Nemesis.
Also, if anywhere on the jacket you see indications of Disney and Live Action, it''s a safe bet that the move is steaming crap.

I love listening to the DVD commentaries on bad movies. It makes the already delicious schadenfreude so much sweeter. Listening to those degenerates try to pretend that their movie is good enough to warrent insider info is the sunshine in my life.

My advice: Rent all the bad movies everyone is talking about and ONLY listen to the commentary.

They really ought to add an MST3K commentary track to some of those turkeys...that would probably boost the hell out of some of their sales...

Starship Troopers

Some of the worst lines in a film ever! ""They sucked out his brains!""

Yeah, I''d have to slip Starship Troopers under the category of bad and not to be seen. It''s downright painful to watch if you ever read the book. The worse scene had to be the obligatory nekkid one with the co-ed showers. We''re supposed to believe that men and women are so equal in the future military that they shower together without getting all giggly. Not being attracted to soapy women is not my idea of an ideal future. Yet after that scene we''re supposed to believe a relationship blossoms between the two characters that is so lusty that they have to consummate it in some futuristic love shack tent.

Now, as far as a recommmendation for a move that is so bad it should be seen. I have one that is a true gem, but is nearly impossible to find. If any of you truly enjoy bad movies, I would urge you to seek out a copy of this one. Ladies and gentlemen, I present Spaceship, also known as The Creature Wasn''t Nice and Naked Space. It''s a sci fi comedy from 1981 that is much funnier unintentionally. It even stars Leslie Nielsen and Cindy Williams. Evidently they blew the whole budget on those two and didn''t have anything left for the movie. That ship has more repeating corridors than Halo, and is responsible for dialog such as:

Captain Jamieson: Max, what course are we on?
Max the Computer: It''s a far out course, Captain, deep into the cosmos and heading into infinity. Hey, I like that!
Captain Jamieson: Why on Earth did they ever make these abusive and emotionally unstable computers?

Presumably anyone involved with the movie is attempting to pretend it never exisisted. It is extremely hard to find. I have one of only two VHS copies I know of in existence. The name of the move on my box is Spaceship, but I don''t know what other names it may have been released with.

Please see this movie!

Holy uncanny photographic mental processes, Batman! I just found the movie at Amazon. It exists on DVD and used copies are $3.50. Can''t


Good call Sway. This fim was also called The creature wasn''t nice. (I think) the only thing I do remember about this film was seeing Nielsen playing Space Invaders!

Some horrible movies I can think of that are watchable if only for the unintentional humor:
Manos, the Hands of Fate, the WORST MOVIE EVAR! Only watchable in its MST3K incarnation while drunk.
Battle Beyond the Stars
Ice Pirates
Black Hole
Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
There are more, but I was probably so traumatized by watching them that I can''t remember ''em.

Saw this over at The Onion and thought it was appropriate:

New Movie Taps Into Nation''s Love Of Rapping Kangaroos
HOLLYWOOD, CA"”The new Jerry Bruckheimer comedy Kangaroo Jack has successfully tapped into America''s longstanding love affair with rapping kangaroos, taking in a box-office-best $17.7 million in its opening weekend. ""From Krazy Legs Kangol in the early ''80s to such New School acts as Pouch Gangstas and Tha Mar$upials, kangaroos have always been at the forefront of the rap scene,"" media analyst Glen Coffey said. ""But not until now has anyone had the vision to exploit this trend in a full-length feature film."" Warner Bros. has already confirmed plans for a sequel, Koala Bob, featuring a computer-generated beat-boxing koala who steals $50 million in gold bullion... and he''s not giving it back.

That is funny, but the following article had me crying:

U.N. Orders Wonka To Submit To Chocolate Factory Inspections

Here is one no one should ever watch.
""Cruel Intentions""
Starring: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Reese Witherspoon, Ryan Phillipe and so on.

I had free passes for it and had nothing else to do so I checked it out. I was so mad when I left the theatre. They had robbed 2 hours of my life!

It is really unfortunate to because I like Reese Witherspoon.

Here is one no one should ever watch.
""Cruel Intentions""

I never saw the movie, but wasn''t that cool Marcy Playground song associated with it?

""She''s coming up from
Coming up from
Coming up
Coming up from behind....""

Dead Alive.

""I kick ass for the lord!""

I don''t think Dead Alive is a bad movie at all. If anything, it''s a work of art! hehe, seriously though, I''ll give you the fact that it is a tad bit cheesy, but I didn''t find it bad.

I''d recommend Dead Alive to anyone who liked comedy/horror movies anytime.

Dead Alive bad? Not a chance, that movie is pure brilliance.

Oh and its ""I kick ass for Christ"" not for the lord.

Thanks for playing Sinitar, but you''re wrong!

Click Here to Hear it!

I found the sound clip Here

I had found the video clip in an ram format, but kept getting an error on trying to view it (only that clip too.. )

Wow a topic I can relate to. 6 years of college meant I watche a LOT of bad late night movies.
Some of them:

I agree with the Highlander II, but III was even worse (Hey, I can make a Katana in a Day!!), Ice Pirates, Beastmaster 2, Johnny Mnemonic.

I do have to say XXX was awful. I seriously felt like I had just spent the past 2 hours ramming my head into a wall after watching that monstrosity.

I love reviving old threads.

Ice Pirates. Freaking loved this movie.

Hot Dog: The movie. All 80''s T&A.