As the great weather demon in the sky targets Minnesota with yet another 9 inches of snow for tonight -- bringing the seasonal total to eleventy-billion inches of non-narcotic white powder -- I could not possibly hate winter more. And, believe me, I tried. Not two weeks ago, during the blizzard that was so huge it destroyed the freaking Metrodome, I felt myself glaring out the window at the precipitation and radiating beams of ire like some kind of crappy mid-stage boss in a early 90's SHMUP. Today, however, I am actually hating winter so hard that I fear my physical features will begin to deform into a howling visage of evil.
Thing is, I feel like winter is being intentionally asinine about the whole thing. A "White Christmas" means having a playful snowshower to cavort in after presents, not a biblical catastrophe. It's like the weather has gone unstably passive aggressive, "oh, sure, I'm winter so I'm all about snow. Well, here's some snow for you. I hope you freaking choke on it!"
And, I have.
So, you know what, winter. We're not cool anymore. I know we were friends when I was a kid, and we had some good times, but now you're just kind of dick. I don't know what your problem is, but you really need to get on some kind of mood stabilizing pharmaceuticals, because basically everyone I know hates you now. Jerk.
Also, Back to the Future the Game comes out this week.