With E3 coming up fast we will be running our executive employee profiles so you guys know a bit about the people in the E3 pictures humping John Carmack's leg. The first member to brave my hard hitting questions is a man who is no stranger to fear. Recently, Sway opened The Box and not only did he not pass out, there were no reports of him screaming like a little girl. I lost five bucks but good for you Sway!

No matter how I flip this picture, Sway just doesn't look right.

Read on for the interview and look for more soon!

Certis: Good Morning

Sway: Howdy

Certis: Howdy? You're not from Texas. Where do you live?

Sway: I'm in Baltimore. The gaming capital of north-eastern Maryland.

Certis: What do you do for a living?

Sway: *sigh* I do client support engineering for an application service provider. I'm on-call 24/7, too...like a little web-app doctor.

Is 29 too young to have a mid-life crisis?

Certis: My dad jumped out of a plane in his mid-forties... with a parachute of course.

Sway: I suppose it depends on how long I plan to live then. I'll wait for now I guess.

Certis: Tell me about your family, I noticed during The Box opening there was some sexy attendant there, giving you a hand.

Sway: Just me, my awesome wife (and occasionally...gamer), and Guinness (the cat...rarely games).

Certis: Speaking of The Box, how does it feel to be single handily responsible for half our readership with that whole debacle?

Sway: I'm assuming the other half came from Pyro's little post on Slashdot that fateful day. I can't take too much credit for being such a wuss. I mean, pretty much anyone else would have gone up there, found the box, and opened it up to see what was inside. But, because I lack even an ounce of courage, I was able to drag such a non-event out for months!

Certis: Your comics are also a pretty big part of our site and some of the most read pieces we've run on the front page. Is a web comic something you'd been wanting to do for quite a while?

Sway: Yeah, sort of. I could never come up with more than two or three ideas, though (some would argue I still haven't), so I never started one. Admin access to GWJ and the ability to mooch off an already-established audience prompted me to take that first shaky step. Your swearing and threats of minor violence have prompted me to continue to draw one each week.

I love it, though. I wish my wife would let me quit my job so I could do that full time instead. But she talks about food and clothing like they're some kind of necessity.

Certis: Let's talk games. You went through a stint there where you barely played anything until I lured you into Everquest.

Sway: Yah, I'm pretty manic about gaming. I'll play everything I can get my hands on for a while, and, just as quickly, stop playing them altogether. I never really noticed the pattern until I was writing for GWJ and suddenly had no interest in gaming.

I've also developed into a more social gamer. I enjoy playing games while hanging out. I think that's why EQ was very appealing at that time.

Certis: Gamers With Jobs: We suck the joy out of your hobby! What have you been playing lately?

Sway: Mostly hyped stuff like UT2K4 and Pandora Tomorrow. This past weekend I actually had enough gamers in the house to break out the Cube and get some party games going (Mario Kart, Mario Party, and Super Smash Bros.) I wanted to try out the Cube version of WarioWare, but couldn't find a rental anywhere.

Certis: PC, Gamecube, Xbox and GBA for gaming right? You also have a Mac laptop but I would imagine that's for making fruity drinks. Am I right?

Sway: I've made poor choices in consoles in the past. I owned a Turbo Grafx 16 followed by the TurboDuo (look it up...it really existed) and the N64. I figured the big N was going to bounce back this round and bought the Cube at launch. I even have the network adapter for it. Once it became abundantly clear that Nintendo would not be supporting online gaming...I picked up the Xbox. Oh...and the Mac has this awesome screensaver. It's like you're flying through a colored tunnel...

Certis: A colored tunnel. Gosh. What's your fondest gaming memory?

Sway: First time I got my computer (a Macintosh SE/30) hooked up to the Internet...I got a book from the library explaining all the amazing things happening online (it was a thin book). I was into anime at the time and there was a thing called AnimeMUCK. I figured out how to connect to it and it looked like an old Infocomm text adventure. I loved those so I was reading the help and it mentioned directions on how to "page" someone from the help staff. I figured this was a clever way to implement a simple Q and A type help program so I sent a page. Suddenly someone shows up in the lobby I'm in and says, "Hello." I start carrying on a conversation with this person assuming it's just a program. I was getting more and more amazed at the "realness" of the responses and it probably took me a full minute or two to realize I was actually having a conversation with another human being online.

It was a seriously defining moment for me both in technology and in gaming. I was stunned.

Certis: How old are you again?

Sway: I'll be 30 on May 16. So for now I'm 29, dammit.

Certis: You're SO OLD! You and Elysium both, I'm surprised you guys can still play games without your arthritis flaring up.

Sway: It just means I've got more gaming memories than you've got just memories in total.

Certis: My memory doesn't extend much past last week so that's probably true. How did you end up writing for Gamers With Jobs?

Sway: I had a lot of downtime in my job back when you guys started up so I was always on the forums. I also tended to have the time to post long diatribes about whatever I felt was important. About a month into GWJ's existence, I think, you probably figured it might not be a bad idea to bring someone else on board to help fill in the front page every now and then. I guess I was a likely candidate since I could spell...or at least used a spell checker. I figured it was an opportunity I'd kick myself for not taking.

Now I'm busy again and have only really had time to get my comic up. There are people who have joined up in the past couple months who already have a higher post count than I do. I haven't even earned my custom forum tag.

Certis: Who knew you'd eventually phase out writing and draw pictures once a week instead. It was all part of your nefarious plan, wasn't it?

Sway: It feels that way as I plan the trip to E3. I wish I had enough foresight to plan something like that in my life.

Certis: Tell me a little about E3, what do you expect?

Sway: Well I remember attending the Consumer Electronics Show once when I was 17. It's pretty much what it sounds like and videogames took up a whole floor. Nintendo and Sega and NEC were representing. It was Willy Wonka's to me. Now the industry is all growed up *sniff* and I'm just...I'm just so proud. I'm expecting to see the first stirrings of the next generation of consoles side by side with demos of some amazing stuff now that developers really know how to take full advantage of the current consoles. I'll let GWJ know which next-gen console I intend to buy so everyone will know to steer clear.

Certis: Sway fell in love with the Nintendo DS at E3, run away! Any final words for our readers?

Sway: Both of you! Wake up! BWAHAHAHAHAHA. I tease. Thanks for hanging out with us. It's been great playing games with you guys. Stick around, yah?


At least you didn't own a Sega CD, dude. Fun interview, guys.

Ooooooooooo Sega CD. I can only remember one game for that piece of pure unadulterated crap: Sewer... Shark? Snark? Snake? Aww, hell, no I can't. FMV was gonna change the world, boys! And those CD-ROMs were the WAAAVE of the FUTURE!

Speaking of crap systems... I had a 3DO. But I bought it second-hand with a bunch of games for about a hundred bucks, so I don't feel too bad about it. Come to think of it, the PC ports were pretty good for that system. Didn't have a PC at the time, so I played Wing Commander 3, Star Control 2, and Panzer General on a console. What am I thinking? 3DO kicked ass!

Nice and informative interview, BTW

Good fun read, guys. I'm leaning more towards social gaming as well and always felt the draw of online games in general since playing MUDs (similar to MUCK) back then. I agree with Sway; the epiphany of between able to play games with people hundreds of miles away is stunning.

I have only recently gotten back into single player gaming- I went for several months where I could barely play a game if it weren't online.

Discovering you could play MUDs with others online has got to be one of my fondest gaming moments, as well. Didn't care that it was text, it was just so awesome to me. First gaming addiction, for sure.

So, when is E3, anyways?

The idea that the world goes on when you log off is the most intriguing thing about MMO's for me. That and playing with people next door and half way around the world, young and old is exciting.

I hope I can break away for an LA trip to see you guys at E3!

Egads, another poor selector of systems. Don't get me started on the winners I chose over the years. Nice work, gents.

When you gonna cut that hair hippy? (sp?)

That was an entertaining interview. Usually I'm like "Hey Sway" and he's like "Hi" and that's all I can get out of him on Team Speak. Who knew he could use words?

Very nice interview... nice to get some profiles on the execs

Hey, I'm 30 too.

I'm not old.

... really ...


No wonder the site was down...

Nei is right, bless his adorable little soul. The site was down because of the Slashdot-esque effect that occurs to any site that posts a picture of me. Everyone wants a glimpse of the Sway. It's as if I climbed down from Mt. Olympus itself. Really it's a wee bit embarrassing, but I cannot deny my fans.

BTW, ladies love spectacles.




...um, I don't know what to say. Yipy, I have a soul. Thank you Sway, thank you GWJ.com, thank you RadioShack!

Nei wrote:

...um, I don't know what to say. Yipy, I have a soul. Thank you Sway, thank you GWJ.com, thank you RadioShack!

I hate to break it to you. But he was kidding. You really don't have a soul.

lies, all lies...ask Pulse...he knows too

...Oh wait, he said good stuff about me? Well, that part is true!