I admit that when I walked over to Bonus' desk and asked if he wanted to be profiled this week, I figured I'd write the introduction myself. Sadly, I remain a better editor than writer and so, taking lessons from my time in software engineering, I outsourced the task overseas.
Since I wasn't sure if a single "vendor" could meet my time constraints, I naturally submitted competing work orders. Luckily, they both came through in shining fashion. I now present to you, in an encore appearance from last month, M0nk3yboy and Prozac!
Bonus_Eruptus, AKA Batman. Seriously, this man has played (and completed) more versions of Batman, Arkham Asylum than I knew even existed. I'm pretty sure at one stage he was also entertaining the idea of importing a Japanese 360 to nail those localised versions too.
One day I hope to meet you in person, my friend. But until then, the encounter plays out in my head thusly: Grabbing my hand in your steely grip, you draw me in close, and in a deep, gravelly voice you exclaim "I'm Bonus."
To you, he may be Bonus_Eruptus, but to me he will always lovingly be referred to as B’Eunice.
My fondest memories of B’Eunice would come from those times that I gently caressed his ear canals with my accented pronunciation of his name while we stood side by side, or squared off against each other, during those halcyon days when the Left 4 Dead franchise was at its zenith among the GWJ crowd.
But who, really, is B’Eunice Eruptus? What dark secrets will this “special” member of the GWJ community reveal? Read on below the fold for the amazing tell all article about one of the more enigmatic members of the community!
1) Who the devil are you?
I'm Batman. B'Eunice if you're nasty, or Australian, but I repeat myself. I also used to moonlight as a flying Scottish cyclops, and need to pick up that hobby again.
When I'm not busy as a masked vigilante or billionaire playboy industrialist, I'm a mild-mannered software developer from Austin, TX.
2) What are you supposed to be doing when you're reading GWJ?
I work at the same company as Grumpicus and boogle, but on a different team. I write code that powers comments, reviews, and forums for tons of companies' websites that you've almost certainly used. If you're ever reviewing a product on a site, and part of your review turns to "BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS", that was my fault.
3) When you're not working or gaming, what do you do with your time?
These days, it's mostly house-hunting, or learning how to cook from my lovely wife.
4) How about family? Kids? Pets? Particularly meaningful inanimate objects?
I've been with the love of my life for 15 years, married for 7. We have 3 cats (down from 8 a few years ago), who let us live with them as long as we provide noms.
5) What is your fondest gaming memory?
There was the time I finally got to delete Trials HD from my 360 after a perfect Marathon run, but my favorite memory was from L4D2. Team Jerk couldn't scrounge up 8 players for a vs. game, so we decided to do a pubstomp, assuming our skills from Stan's Lounge would transfer over to the new game. We wound up getting horribly defeated, and retaliated with drunken Christmas carols over Snare Speak. I believe Christmas had been over for months.
6) Why do you play games? Why haven't you outgrown them?
I see them (mostly) as equivalent to books and movies, where someone has created their own world out of their imagination, and you're along for the ride. Unlike books and movies, however, games let you maintain some degree of control over what actually happens.
Mostly, though, they're a stress-relief valve, an opportunity to hang out with friends I'd otherwise rarely or never get to meet, or to do something I'll likely never get to do. As much as I've prepared for zombie apocalypse scenarios, they're not likely to happen, and if they did, I'm dead 30 minutes in.
It's certainly not the completionist/achievement-whore in me. Nope.
7) If you could live in a video game world, which would it be? Why?
Grim Fandango. I love the style, and it was the first game I ever played where I got a sense of a larger world beyond what the player experienced.
Brutal Legend, too. Hell, any Tim Schafer game. The man has a god-like ability to create worlds.
Or maybe Catherine, because butthole monsters. On the other hand, giant, crying babies. I think I'll stick with Grim Fandango.
8) What is your favorite game over the last year or so? Why?
I absolutely loved Arkham City, but my vote has to go to Saints Row the Third for a few reasons. First, there was the time my voluptuous redhead had to streak around a church to draw out a little old church lady I was assigned to assassinate. I then proceeded to beat her to death with a dildobat to the strains of Frankie Goes to Hollywood's Relax. Burt Reynolds as himself as the mayor sealed the deal.
9) What is your favorite game that you're playing right now? Why?
Right now, I'm finishing up the DLC for Fallout: New Vegas, because I mostly play games a year or two after they're released, since I'm a cheap. I'm absolutely loving Old World Blues due to the Futurama-style robots amazed that I'm holding up an array of fully-erect hand penises.
There's also the whole "dragging bodies around and putting their hand on another body's butt" thing, which I'll apparently never grow out of. I'm doing it for future adventurers. I hope they appreciate it.
10) Which upcoming game are you looking forward to most? Why?
My pile is so big, I honestly have no idea what's coming out. I was recently gifted Borderlands 2, so maybe I'll actually get to play a game the same year it comes out.
11) What first brought you to GWJ? What keeps you coming back?
I honestly can't remember, but from looking at my oldest post, 5 years ago next Monday, I believe I was looking for info on Guitar Hero III, having played it at Wal-Mart and having embarrassed myself in front of my wife.
12) Is there a particular forum on GWJ that you frequent/favor? Why?
The secret one for us developer types. Actually, I spend way too much time on all of them equally. I try to avoid Cleveland, because it angries up the blood.
13) What is the story behind your handle?
I was looking for a name for FARK back in 2002, and a good Simpsons rerun came on ("22 Short Films About Springfield"). Seemed as good as anything else I could think of at the time. To this day, most people think it's a penis reference.
14) What is the story behind your tag (Biggest Darryl)?
I have/had twin cats (Little and Big Darryl, after the Newhart characters), who weren't that bright when they were babies. I was in gifted classes as a kid, which were referred to as my "special classes." Nowadays, "special" has a different meaning, so a combination of paranoia and low self esteem led me to believe that I was secretly retarded, and everyone who told me I was smart was patronizing me, in much the same way as you'd put even your child's ugliest drawing on the fridge. Since we already had two Darryls of limited mental capacity, I was tagged "Biggest Darryl".
15) Do you have any notable rivalries and/or friendships with someone on GWJ?
- Prozac - My wife still calls me B'Eunice to this day, after you told me to get off you following 3 pounces in a row in L4D2. Taught me the number one rule of teamwork: Lay perfectly still in a burning room while watching a madman's blue silhouette shrinking in the distance in search of a pineapple-filled saferoom.
- m0nk3yboy - Sent me a wired 360 controller out of the blue, from Australia, because I didn't have one. Enables my achievement whoring, to the point of going to bed, but leaving his 360 on so I could speed-run Crackdown in co-op mode for a few co-op achievements.
- SallyNasty - One of the best co-op partners and buds a guy could ask for. Has saved me hundreds with our Goodjer game exchange program.
- trueheart78 - The Moss to my Roy.
- camnipotent - My favorite doctor, and the only attorney I like.
- Quintin_Stone - Has only completed 2 Batman: Arkham games. I have completed 5. Still claims he is Batman. The Val Kilmer to my Bruce Wayne. A welcome, though lowly addition to the Fraternal Order of Batmen.
I know I'm forgetting a ton of you, especially everyone with whom I used to play L4D2 and TF2. Didn't end that sentence with a preposition. That one's for you, wordsmythe. [Ed.: Thanks, chief.]
16) Thanks for taking the time to answer our hard-hitting questions! Any last words?
Thank you for the opportunity. I love this community, and consider you all the family I never had (they were killed outside a theatre).
One final order of business: For his meritorious service and October 19th, I hereby promote one Quintin H. Stone to the rank of Christian Bale Batman, passing the rank of Adam West Batman, but retaining the full benefits of that position as well.
I remain Batman Batman.