June 5 – June 11

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With E3 starting tomorrow, publicists and marketing teams have generally kept things otherwise quiet for the week. New releases are definitely an afterthought, but somehow we still had two writers who wanted to take a crack at not only paying attention to the week's new games, but naming a Game Of The Week.

As with so many potions and ingredients that I will never actually use in an RPG, I loathe to discard good copy. So here to take the place of actually buying and playing a new release this week, I present to you a tag-team rundown of an underwhelming release schedule.

Alex "Spaz" Martinez wrote:

As the sun rises over Los Angeles this morning, rest easy knowing that scores of workers, PR representatives, and VIPs are descending on the Los Angeles Convention Center to provide your yearly dose of promises and previews. Given that most of the games industry is busy trying to find a corner pub or unpacking (suitcases and U-Haul trucks alike) at the moment, it's hardly surprising to see that this week is a little light.

If you absolutely must buy something to satiate your empty PS3/Xbox, take a look at Inversion, which marries your traditional FPS with gravity-twisting mechanics. You might get pangs of Gears of War and flashbacks to Mass Effect's biotic powers as you run to cover and lob localized distortions at your enemies. But alongside traditional bullet-pumping fare is a promise to turn levels upside down as players navigate the gravitationally volatile field, courtesy of vector shifts. If that doesn't do it for you, try kicking it with Virtua Fighter 5: Final Showdown.

PC stalwarts have more adventurous options at hand. Strategic War in Europe gives you the comforts of tabletop gaming with the simple elegance of PCs. No friends to clutter up the living room? Worry not, as you can control up to 25 countries across the axis and allies yourself. Since I was never one for the complexities of war (and the brutality of board gaming), my pick for Game Of The Week goes to Dungeonbowl. Take a few colleges devoted to wizardry, add some academic bad blood, toss in catacombs riddled with traps, and make it a spectator sport — you get something like Harry Potter's Tri-Wizard Tournament as designed by the guy who thinks up the traps for SAW. Sure, it's technically a reskinned Bloodbowl, but it should be just the thing to purge those stinging memories of that one reeeeeeeally bad Dungeon Master you played with in '86.

Colleen "momgamer" Hannon wrote:

With E3 looming over this week, I didn't have a lot of hopes for it. But I didn't think it would be quite as bad as this!

I mean, look at this list. We've got a juggernaut of a mediocre movie tie-in for a lame attempt to cash in on a kid's flick, an old-school fighting game remake, and some sort of disturbing mash-up of The Sims 3 and Katy Perry. I'm trying very hard to scrub the knowledge that most of this list even exists from my brain, with two exceptions.

Inversion looked interesting when it first came to my notice last year. It reminded me of Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy and I enjoyed that. The concept is ambitious, I'll give them that, but getting pushed four months at the last second for "polish" didn't fill me with any great confidence. I will probably wait on a sale for that one.

And I solemnly bestow the Game Of The Week laurels on Curling Super Championship. Because a) curling is actually quite cool, and b) because I can. I recommend you all get back to Diablo III until the rest of this nonsense passes.

PC
- Bang Bang Racing (Steam - $10)
- Dungeonbowl
- Strategic War in Europe (download - $15)
- The Sims 3: Katy Perry Sweet Treats

Xbox 360
- Bang Bang Racing (XBLA - $10)
- Inversion
- Madagascar 3: The Video Game
- Virtua Fighter 5 Final Showdown (XBLA - $15)

PlayStation 3
- Bang Bang Racing (PSN - $10)
- Inversion
- Madagascar 3: The Video Game
- Virtua Fighter 5: Final Showdown (PSN - $15)

Wii
- Madagascar 3: The Video Game

Nintendo 3DS
- Madagascar 3: The Video Game

Nintendo DS
- Curling Super Championship (DSiWare - $5)
- Madagascar 3: The Video Game

Curling Super Championship

Comments

Curling?

While I'm excited for a curling game, it's a bit odd to see it being release in June.

Stele wrote:

Curling? :D

The Sims 3: Katy Perry Sweet Treats

I imagine this isn't what I want it to be.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of the still beating heart of the Chimera I just tore open with flaming daggers of doom.

garion333 wrote:
The Sims 3: Katy Perry Sweet Treats

I imagine this isn't what I want it to be.

If it was that sort of thing, making it Kinect-enabled would seem to be a logical choice.

That's awesome spam.

David Beckham is an athlete, right? Who does athletey things.