Flame Off

I was playing video games before Ronald Reagan was president, before the space shuttle was first launched and before disco was finally dead. When I first put controller in hand, MASH was still on TV, John Lennon was still alive and there was no such thing as Star Wars. The internet was science fiction, phones had dials and coke cans had pull tabs. These were ancient days.

Gaming has clearly held a secure chunk of real estate in the neighborhood that describes my life, and yet every few years my well runs dry. The neurons and tissues that motivate my game playing, a chunk of fleshy matter that I assume is well developed, will from time to time simply go dark, and suddenly I am staring at virtual worlds displayed for my entertainment purely out of inertia. As odd as it may sound after 30 years, right now I just don’t feel like playing.

This is a troubling situation for a lifelong gamer. Though I’ve experienced the phenomena now a half dozen times, and each time I simply wait until the reserves of joy-inducing endorphins kick back in, I feel left adrift in the calm seas that I usually know only as a maelstrom. What is a gamer supposed to do when he doesn’t want to game?

Does this happen to heroin addicts? Do they jam that syringe in deep, only to think, “ugh, not this stuff again?” Do alcoholics ever get to the bar and say, “you know, I’ll just have a Sierra Mist?”

I usually try not to think about my gaming habits in terms of addiction, partly because of the ramifications of such thinking but mostly because I think the term addiction is used too casually to justify poor decisions. I am always very conscious of how I game and how that gaming affects and diminishes the time I spend doing other thing. There’s a whole article here about personal responsibility and managing your life, I suppose, but that’s not the particular high horse I’m trotting astride today.

Despite my careful measure of game time, the truth is I play a lot. Too much? And, usually, much of the time I spend not playing, part of my brain is thinking about playing. My enthusiasm for gaming is a mostly constant companion, so you would think it wouldn’t take me very long to notice when it is gone.

The truth is something different. Looking back I realize that my excitement for the games I play has been on the down-swing for a season now, finally culminating in the realization that if I don’t play another game this month that might just be fine with me.

And here’s the thing: I think this is a critical part of being a gamer.

In a strange way, I think it is these occasional downtimes that keep gaming fresh for me. I think being able to step mostly away from gaming for a while is a fantastic opportunity to gain perspective on the whole endeavor, and when that familiar urge begins to rise again, I will come back with fresh eyes and rejuvenated excitement. I make this claim with the authority of experience.

I don’t know whether this is a result of some kind of gaming overload, of being a new father with an infant or part of some other environmental factor. I suppose in truth it is in part because of all those things, and probably just a natural defense mechanism that allows me to carry on with this third decade of being a gamer. I don’t know whether this happens to everyone, or it’s my own mechanism. I don’t know how long it will last or what game will finally drag me back in.

Odd as it may seem for a lifelong gamer, it’s a nice, if brief, reprieve. I actually cherish these occasional releases from the compulsion. Sometimes, the best way to keep enjoying something is to stop for a while.

Comments

Wait, MASH isn't still on TV?

Actually, I've been awestruck by how much gaming you've gotten done since the birth of Elysium 3.0. After the birth of my daughter May before last, my gaming habits didn't change much. Then by about the third month, gaming became something I just didn't get to do anymore.

Once she was going to bed and staying there for the whole night, I was able to get back into gaming-- but only a few hours per week. You must have a fantastic support network to be able to get so much gaming in with two kids.

Good read. I found that the infant-enforced gaming hiatus served me well. Once I was able to play again, it was almost like becoming a gamer all over again. There was so much that had happened in the time I'd missed. So many new games to check out.

Familiarity breeds contempt. Sometimes stepping back and taking a breather allows us to appreciate what we have all the more.

And if that's not trite enough for you, I don't know what is.

EDIT: Corrected the date. My daughter was born May 2007, not last may. The perils of measuring new life in months instead of years.

Once she was going to bed and staying there for the whole night, I was able to get back into gaming-- but only a few hours per week. You must have a fantastic support network to be able to get so much gaming in with two kids.

Actually, we have virtually none. This should tell you how great a mom Elysia is. Not to mention I stopped working from home back in June, so I'm still kinda of getting used to having a job too.

To be fair, some of the gaming time has been stuff like Lego games and Mario Party that I can do with my son, and our infant has slept through the night since week 2. Don't hate me.

I found that the infant-enforced gaming hiatus served me well. Once I was able to play again, it was almost like becoming a gamer all over again. There was so much that had happened in the time I'd missed. So many new games to check out.

Partly, I'm looking forward to that.

And if that's not trite enough for you, I don't know what is.

No, that was plenty trite. I say, well done sir.

I have those episodes as well which can last up to a month at a time. Strangely though, I will not stop reading about gaming news and commenting on boards daily.

Gaming, in a way, is a bit like painting or any hobby. You don't have to paint all the time to be a painter and discussing it is just as interesting as actually doing it.

I'm not sure it's the best comparison but I'm sure you guys will get what I'm saying.

I would argue that the fact that you tire of the grind proves you aren't an addict. An alcoholic continues to drink too much despite how sick of it he/she is. It's a natural feeling when you dedicate yourself to a particular hobby, where you become overexposed to doing the same thing causing you to Burnout. Paradise. Now available on PC at your local retailer.

I agree that it's good to take these sabbaticals every now and again to refresh your mind. I think the reason I've been so overwhelmed about what I see as the neverending supply of amazing titles partially has to do with my lack of playing games for most of my university years. It also makes you a more well-rounded person. When personal issues arose for about a six month period a couple years ago, making games not exist as part of my life at all, I ended up discovering both new interests and hobbies I didn't know I had, as well as rejuvenating ones that had laid dormant when killing aliens and building bases took precedence above all else.

It's also what makes games harder to impress us. The more invested you are in the games you play, and the more time you spend playing them, means what the casual gamer will find enjoyable, you're bound to feel more stale and predictable. Since you're currently in the extreme of that mindset, my advice might be to hold off on some of your "Horizon Broadening" activities and avoid other under-the-radar titles until the itch to get back into the swing of things arrives. Otherwise, you may find yourself dismissing certain games, and losing the potential of having some great experiences, because you misinterpreted your general malaise as a specific disinterest in those titles.

doubtingthomas396 wrote:

Familiarity breeds contempt. Sometimes stepping back and taking a breather allows us to appreciate what we have all the more.

Loved this.

I think everyone hits this low-(high?) point in gaming, or hobbies in general. I've managed to switch between multiplayer and single player to give gaming that freshness you talk about.

Right now I'm going that steep myself. Having played so much L4D to the point that it's become mechanical (run, melee hunter off, throw molotov at tank, enter safe room, rince and repeat) I was looking forward to playing something not-fps and also single player.

I think I'll rather invest in reading a book or look at my runner-up hobbies to see how long I can stay away from the PC.

Great read as always.

Elysium wrote:

and our infant has slept through the night since week 2. Don't hate me.

I hate you. It took my daughter nine months and my son about five or six.

I've been through the same gaming malaise and these much needed breaks from gaming have also grown more frequent since the birth of my second kid. What's it's really amounted to for me is that there are just fewer games that really capture my attention anymore, so there's more recurring downtime than there used to be. But at the same time, when a game really does grab me and remind me why I play (Mount & Blade, Mass Effect PC, The Witcher), I end up that much more addicted to that particular title.

I know this feeling as well -- it was actually in danger of happening to me recently. Gears 2 flopped in my eyes (I understand the points I'm just making a personal judgment). Fallout 3 drew me in with its beautiful paper tiger of a world and promptly burned to ash during a particularly desultory session. I greeted Far Cry 2's immense promise with a few perfunctory sessions and then let it fall by the wayside (which is odd because I'm still excited by the concept of the game but seem unable to generate anything but apathy whenever I actually load it up).

In the past, the "solutions" have been twofold. One, as you mentioned, is to let the downtime run its course. I explore new hobbies, go for walks, read -- any activity that I actually enjoy rather than an activity I should enjoy. Other times, occasionally in tandem with the first solution, is when I get particularly excited about the concept of a game and fall headfirst into it (Mount and Blade, I'm looking at you). In a way, it's as if I need the one-two punch of a cooling off period followed by some stimulating feature to get "back in the saddle," so to speak.

In any event, thanks for the article. Facing a chunk of free time and not feeling like playing a game sometimes makes me feel like a bad gamer who should be denied biscuits.

kuddles wrote:

It's also what makes games harder to impress us. The more invested you are in the games you play, and the more time you spend playing them, means what the casual gamer will find enjoyable, you're bound to feel more stale and predictable.

This.

I know I try very hard to not become jaded about games, or any of my entertainment for that matter. One way I manage it is through genre rotation. My reduced gaming time has focused me, making this a bit easier. I only play one game at a time. When I finished Half Life 2, I was about burnt out on FPSs, so I played Folklore (beat-em-up with RPG elements). When I was done with that, I loaded up Little Big Planet (platformer). And so forth. I'm currently playing Fallout 3 (CRPG). I figure I'll be good for Bioshock (another FPS) when I finish the game I'll be playing after Fallout 3.

It's all about keeping things fresh.

But I agree with Kuddles that if you're burnt on gaming in general then the horizons broadening experiment can wait a month. Unless you want to complete The Witcher while you're still fed up, so you can say it feels pedestrian and have a big argument with Certis on the Podcast.

I think we can all agree we'd be good with that.

I hate you. It took my daughter nine months and my son about five or six.

If it makes you feel any better our first son hated sleep. He didn't even take naps.

We earned this.

Elysium wrote:
I hate you. It took my daughter nine months and my son about five or six.

If it makes you feel any better our first son hated sleep. He didn't even take naps.

We earned this.

Hmmm. Nope. No better.

...I kid, I kid.

I'm feeling this way right now as well, and I'm thankful for the fact that there aren't that many games that are either new or that I'm neck deep in at the moment. I'm looking forward to catching up on some movies and doing some quality late-late-night reading.

The one thing that's giving me problems is Left 4 Dead. I'm not really feeling the draw at the moment, but I do feel that if I extend my sabbatical for a length of time I'll lose my regular spot in a team rotation and perhaps lose the L4D friends I've made through the game.

Petty insecurities, perhaps, but it's a petty and insecure week for me. Playing the game isn't fun when I force it. And that's always been my biggest issue with Persistent World games like Animal Crossing (and I'm grouping L4D into this category—loosely?—because of its primarily online-only nature) is that at some point they begin to feel like work or chores, even if the neurosis is mine alone. I enjoy playing with the group I've found, and there's a definite comfort zone there, but I just feel like I need some time off.

EDIT: posted this and then noticed what Hobbes2099 wrote.

Hobbes2099 wrote:

Right now I'm going that steep myself. Having played so much L4D to the point that it's become mechanical (run, melee hunter off, throw molotov at tank, enter safe room, rinse and repeat) I was looking forward to playing something not-fps and also single player.

I'm right there with you. Well put.

I can completly sympathise with how you feel.

My gaming history started with a Magnavox Odyssey Pong game (I still clearly remember the moment. We had a "cool" babysitter and I was 6 or so. My sister and I went over to his place and he sat us down in front of the tv it's wavering graphics and simple sounds opened a vista of wonder to me.)

Over the years, I've owned a Vic 20, an Intellivision, a Genesis (well that was my little brothers technicaly,) an early PC, a Game boy, a GBA, a Playstation and PS2 (holding out for a PS3 for a little while longer,) an Xbox and 360 (3 actually as I keep selling them off.)

My issue is the same as yours, I just don't find games as consistently compelling as I used to. I wont lie, I play all the time but I'm fickle, I drop in and out of WoW and other MMORPGs can't hold my attention (though I just did return to WAR.) Other games I play I rarely finish. I'm actually going to schedule out my gameplay time for the next little while and finish all the titles I bought over the last two years reminiscent to the Penny Arcade flow chart of game releases a while back.

Every time I buy a game I buy it hoping for that thrill I used to get when booting up my old PC or playing B52-Bomber (I still remember the chill I felt as my Intellivision "Talked" to me using that tinny synthasized voice.) I don't get that any more, a lot of people will say it's because games "aren't as good as they used to be." I don't agree, yes designers had to do much more with much less and it added a level of creativity that a lot of current designers can slack off and get around with some flashy pixel shading and bump mapping but I think that is too pat an answer as there are some incredible artists working in Video games who can do so much more then their predicesors and to say they are lazy is a disservice to those who came before and will come after. No, I think it's more of a case that games for me fill a role of nostalgia and I'm not finding that in games any more. In addition, the way games are designed now, are simply not for me. They are designed in such a way that they are geared to a different generation who had a different experience growing up.

I listen to some podcasts that skew to a younger demographic on their panels (like many of the former 1up podcasts) where some of the panelists would display a blaring ignorance of gaming history (and at times even the English language.) This is not something that makes them lesser gamers or people (save for maybe the required English lesson ) they just come from a different direction. Me, I grew up on Goldbox games and Comodor 64 (the old Bruce Lee game anyone?) They grew up on Baulders Gate Dark Alliance and Ninja Gaiden. There is nothing wrong with that but what comes out now has them in mind and in a way I'm kind of a dinosaur.

It's like my grand mother, when she goes to a film today they are different beasts then when she was a child or a young adult. At 88, she's practicaly seen Cinema from it's birth as a popular medium. What she enjoyed growing up does not exist any more, you don't get those kinds of comedies and dramas. What you get is it's evolved descendant and video games are following the same pattern. I kind of look at them like they are at the stage that film was in the fifties and sixties. They are maturing but not quite there yet, you have a lot of schlock directors pushing out the b-movies (shovelware) and you have some great classics working their way through the machine and coming in to being. Ironicaly, video games seem to be following the same path as films with big distribution publishers gobbling everything up. It's sort of like we're at the end of the Big Studio era and we're finding our selves settling in to the format of developer and publisher that mirrors the Studio and distributor model in Hollywood.

Any how like you, every few months or years I need to step away. When I come back I find something that blows my socks off even for a brief period. Something that sends that shiver up my spine of seeing something that's more real then my minds eye could have given me and that sucks me in to it's story. It's those moments I live for, and though they are few and fleeting I still appreciate them. That's a rambling rant sorry to inflict it on you.

I agree with Kuddles and dt on the whole "more gaming means you'll find more games stale and predictable", but also take it one step further and say "having a lot of mediocre-to-acceptable gaming experiences turns you off gaming".
Judging from your experiences this past fall season, I get the impression that you weren't impressed at all with the latest season of gaming. Fallout 3 was a big dissapointment and not much else excited you. Is it any surprise, then, that you're just not that excited to play games?

I guess the question is what came first: Were you unimpressed with the latest slate of games because you were burnt out on gaming, or are you burnt out on gaming because you were unimpressed with the latest slate of games?
Likely, one reinforces the other.

Oh, and I'm there with you guys on the L4D thing - major burnout. Expert runs are no longer fun to me anymore as my groups just keep getting stonewalled on the finale until I'm too tired to go on. Versus runs are still fun IF there is good team balance, and more often than not that's a big if. It's just one of those games I played too damn much of. I'll still play occasionally but I'm waiting for new content at this point.

You're supposed to play Dwarf Fortress, that's what you're supposed to do damn it!

commonperson wrote:

Me, I grew up on Goldbox games and Comodor 64 (the old Bruce Lee game anyone?)

I love that game. Just beat it again a few months ago. God bless emulators.

I don't think I've been as excited as I was the day I bough Gauntlet for the C64 and had to wait the whole day at my Dad's house to go home and play it (I looooooved it in the arcade). I looked at that box all day long, read the manual a bazillion times. I was so incredibly excited. Nothing compares to that in my adult life and I don't expect it to. My game playing, while not as exciting and generally not as mind blowing, is a much deeper experience, though I would trade just about anything to be as enthusiastic about a game as I was when I was a kid. Perhaps more time away would be good . . . but I've spent so much on my PC and damned if that TV and PS3 don't need to be used to justify themselves . . . .

Anyway, it's interesting because I still get that excited about books when I find one I really love, though I most certainly go through long periods of drought, which help me to appreciate the good ones all the more. Gaming, well, not so much. I don't know what I'm missing, but for me it's probably story. Games don't grab me in the way books do and so they're continually letting me down. The graphics and physics may be improved, but that's just the shiny exterior.

You're supposed to play Dwarf Fortress, that's what you're supposed to do damn it!

The Horizons Broadening Project will go on uninterrupted. Fear not.

Yep absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I haven't played in 2 months save for a few short Wii sessions with my son.

I'm currently in recharge mode waiting for a fresh gaming experience to shout out my name.

trip1eX wrote:

Yep absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I haven't played in 2 months save for a few short Wii sessions with my son.

I'm currently in recharge mode waiting for a fresh gaming experience to shout out my name.

With a name like yours, I worry at the quality of the game that will shout it.

and coke cans had pull tabs.

Don't they still? Or do you mean those silver sticky tabs? The thing I remember is the near ubiquity of glass bottles of Coke. Now they are more of a novelty item.

I too agree that the term addiction is too easily flung onto new pastimes such as gaming. Nick Yee, the guy that writes the Daedalus Project, also believes that the term doesn't fit, and instead prefers to use the phrease "problematic usage." I think that helps one better gauge overuse.

A college student on break will naturally have more free time than a single mother working two jobs, for example. It's okay for the former to play eight hours of WoW a day, but for the latter, not so. You have to view it on a larger scale than "He plays more than two hours, he's addicted!"

Good luck filling the void of free time. Don't stay away too long, else Julian replace thee in some sort of rabid internet mutiny. With rabbits.

Can't say I've felt burned out on games in a very long time. Then again, I have to be fairly intentional about my planning if I'm going to get any game time in at all in any given week. It's fairly common for me to be too busy with work, social life, and responsibilities for me to be able to play games.

I was playing video games before Ronald Reagan was president, before the space shuttle was first launched and before disco was finally dead.

You know.... i feel young just reading that sentence - though i was a week and a half old by the time the first space shuttle went up.

To be honest, i can't think of any hobby or pastime that can be 'done' as much as a hardcore gamer usually 'does' playing games. If you don't feel the need to step back from time to time and not play then you're either not human (or addicted) or the game companies are releasing such revolutionary stuff that it feels like a different experience each game.

Wordsmythe isn't a gamer, he's a player.

Elysium wrote:
You're supposed to play Dwarf Fortress, that's what you're supposed to do damn it!

The Horizons Broadening Project will go on uninterrupted. Fear not.

Oh don't worry, I know you'll continue

Just wanted to hammer the words "Dwarf Fortress" into your brain a few more times

Elysium I think that this downturn in interest actually proves just how intune you are with games. Your body clock has alerted you that we are into february: the downturn in AAA releases has begun and after march there will be precious little (new) reason to turn on a console or pc, just as has been the case since before Regan was president (I am guessing here). This is merely subconscious mental preparation for the spring/summer Dead Zone (minus Christopher Walken). You have spent so long living with your gaming mistress that now your periods match (too far?). Is it time for us as players to acknowedge that periodically we get gaming PMS?

I've been feeling somewhat similar lately; every game I think of playing, seems too much like work. But I found a solution.

Go do something else for a while. Take up a new activity, preferably something that gets you out of the house, and doesn't involve staring at a screen (which eliminates TV and movies):

  • Go for long walks and enjoy the local scenery.
  • Start running, biking or swimming.
  • Learn to dance and go dancing (ballroom, latin, swing, disco, etc.). Swing and Lindy are especially fun.
  • Join a singing group or go to karaoke nights.
  • Take up horseback riding.
  • Find a sports league to join, whether baseball, softball, basketball, volleyball, football, bowling, etc.
  • Play outdoor sports with your kids.

If you can't get out of the house (children, etc), then there are plenty of activities to do at home as well:

  • Read books you enjoy. Better: Read to your children.
  • Tutor your children in subjects they're having difficulty with.
  • Spend more time with your children in general.
  • Learn to play a musical instrument.
  • Take up woodworking. Build a coffee table or a cabinet.
  • Learn to paint.
  • Learn to cook and experiment with recipes.
  • Build a model railroad in the basement.
  • Find some friends and do some tabletop gaming (unless your malaise is with gaming in general).

And if you find you like something better than videogames and never come back... that's okay too. We'll miss you, but you have to do what makes you happy, not what makes us happy.

Hans

Sounds like burnout to me. It's easy enough to avoid if you can throttle your usual gaming activity a bit, or working activity or whatever you've become burned out on. Take some time to read a book every day, take a walk outside and think about something that isn't gaming, etc. It's either that or be forced to take weeks or months off because of burnout. Personally, I prefer taking things easy than going nuts and burning out regularly.

stupidhaiku wrote:

Wordsmythe isn't a gamer, he's a player. ;)

Don't hate the player, hate the game

Far out man why have I never heard of you before? Best writer in games!

Honestly, this site really speaks to me as I am in some disenchanting years of being a gamer. These are the years when you learn how to be gamer and an adult at the same time.

And I enjoy hearing you (and sometimes Rabbit) touch on what to expect with balancing gamming and being the man of the house.

I have a lot to look forward to in these years, but an increase in game time is not one of them. The more experiences you share with me, the better equipped I am in facing my own new horizons.

Thanks.