Driving Miss Lazy

The afternoon ride is a ritual of summer: ditching out of work an hour early, pedaling through the New England hills. It's not a casual thing. It's a form of worship. At 16 miles an hour, God's creation slides by in a blur of green and yellow and blue. The wind constantly reminds me that I'm moving. The slow burn in my lungs and legs reminds me that I'm alive.

But it can be a lonely business. Which is why the afternoon ride is best done with my friend Charles. I've riding with (mostly behind) Charles' for decades. The first "real" ride I remember was sometime in the late '70s. He'd acquired a "real" road bike -- Italian steel, Italian parts. I was on a laughable hunk of heavy Japanese crap. And yet, he put up with my overweight huffing and we rode as hard as we could, as long as we could, as often as we could.

In the intervening 30 years, we've gotten a little better. Riding with the same partner for so long is a kind of marriage. We don't suck. We're certainly not going to win any races, even those marked "masters," shorthand for "old." But in the last thirty years we've gone through phases where we did try to race. We've both done our share of long, tortuous multi-day rides. And now we've reached that an old-man athleticism which has nothing to do with actually being strong and fit, and everything to do with training your body to do the least amount of work possible. We can ride for hours, never once paying attention, just talking. We ride 6 inches apart and can read each others body language so well that I know he's going to hit the brakes before he does, saving myself countless crashes over the years.

But I don't always get to ride with Charles. Now that we both work and have kids, most of the time I end up riding my myself. I could lie and tell you that these solo rides are times to be at peace with my inner whatsit and commune with the great Dalmuti or whatever, but the honest truth is that it's usually a lonely drag. Necessary, because I don't want to be dropped like a fat guy every Saturday morning. But still a drag.

So I became an bike-geek achievement whore.

When I get on the bike, I'm climbing into the only cockpit I own. Having long since abandoned flying or driving, my two bicycles are my only self-motivated transportation other than my Nikes. And like a teenager tricking out his Honda with chrome exhaust and faux-carbon fiber dash panels that stick on with double-sided tape, I spend far more energy on the technology and nerdiness of my bike than I do in actual riding. A decade ago, at the beginning of the dotcom boom, the bike was itself a purchase of geek-lust. The Trek 5500 was the bike the new USPS team was riding under the bony ass of Lance Armstrong. I was in crap shape in 1997, but it didn't matter. Because I had the cool techno-whiz bike, I felt fast, so I rode harder.

And that's the pattern. I spend money on toys that make me feel faster, so I ride harder. Once I had the bike I had to turn to other forms of technology Cyclocomputers. Heart rate monitors. Rollers. Better wheels. Handmade Vredestein tires rolled on the thighs of Danish virgins. It almost didn't matter. The mere consumption of crap kept me motivated.

And now there are achievement points. I never knew what to call them until I became an Xbox 360 player, but that's what they are. A few years ago, I bought a power meter. This ridiculous piece of technology combines heart rate, temperature, speed, cadence and actual power delivered to the pedals into one gigantic storm of computer-processed data. The result of all this data is that I can tell you exactly how I rode -- every minute detail -- on any day for the last several years. I can tell you, for instance, that my time up the local mountain has averaged about 7:45 since 2005. During my one glorious spring I dropped that to about 7:15, and this year, I opened the season at 8:15.

I can tell you that two years ago, I was able to average about 150 watts over two hours, and that I've slowly managed to increase that while at the same time losing weight and getting my heart rate down. Unless it's over 85 degrees. I can tell you that my peak output has gone from about 450 watts when I bought the damn thing to 580 (which I can hold for less than 5 seconds). I can tell you that when I draft Charles on the flats, I use 20 percent less power for a given speed than I do if I'm in front. And of course I can compare all this pointless data with equally geeky riders on the Internet. These are my achievement points.

Charles hates this. He is an anti-achievement whore. He believes that things should just "be." He hates the idea that life can be measured, captured, sliced and broken into component pieces. He hates the data from my bicycle interrupting our rides. He hates the continuous measurement of scores in games, the achievement points. He hates the numbers that tally in his bank account.

But for me all of this is what makes the mundane tolerable. When I'm riding alone, I create a cocoon. The data from the bike, the phone in my back pocket with the headphone cord, listening to net-radio from half a wold away, delivered through towers and satellites and Lithium-Ion haze. It's a cocoon of information all supporting an ego that lives for that little "ping" that means I did something useful, something worthwhile, or even just something interesting.

When that logo pops up on my screen in the middle of a game of Catan, or Gears of War, or anything, and I know I just added another 10 meaningless points to my Xbox 360 tag, it's motivating. When I get the check from a client, being able to to type "PAID" in my billing spreadsheet is almost more important than the actual money.

Is it sad that I sometimes need these achievement points to be motivated to work, game and even ride? Of course. Is it sad I need external validation to be motivated for anything? Sure.

But I'm human, an animal walking upright and wearing clothes. Underneath all this super-ego there lives an id-driven dog. And my how he likes it when the bell rings.

Comments

Good article Rabbit. All this talk of dissecting life is pushing me to read the dichotomy-heavy "Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance" once again.

As one who is likely to start cycling again this year (haven't owned a bike since I was a kid really) any tips for a noob from the "master"?

I just did a nice ride on a local rails-to-trails conversion near my house. It started out a little busy, but when you get to the unfinished parts of the trail, it's nice and quiet and relaxing.

Clipless pedals, good shorts, spend 20 bucks to have the bike shop fit the thing for you and keep riding?

I've been meaning to get a bike again for a few years now. Lack of funds has been my primary reason why i didn't, laziness my second... but since i stopped swimming (when my pool became more about making money from parties and schools than from the people who paid for their membership) and i don't play much general sport anymore (no one to play with) i need something i can do solo that isn't running - bad knees from running cross-country for 7 years.

I'm halfway between yourself and your friend. I don't dispise analysis, my degree hinges on the analysis of things.... but when it comes to fun and relaxation, they don't need to be quantified. Either i was or i wasn't. There's no need to assign points - especially arbitrary ones like the gamer points set by a bunch of people at the developer because they have to.
One of my achievements might be exploring the vice city and enjoying riding fast in my stolen car... but theirs might be collecting 100 hidden tags. You can't please everyone 100% nor can you predict their preferences for these delicate things.

I can safely say that the gamer points and gamer tag is a big turn off for me from xbox live and having the little box saying "achievement unlocked" come up is an unwanted interruption in my relaxation time.

I'm still eventually going to get an 360, but i was just wondering: can you turn them off?

Awesome read.

I think you're both right: When rolling solo (in games, riding, etc) having a way to measure improvement is a real motivator, and can even be fun. Nothing at all wrong with that. Striving for improvement is human.

But in group-recreation, I think it takes something away from the experience. This reminds me of the state of most MMORPGs; people get all hung up in mix/maxing, DPS, optimal builds, and whatever other mechanics of the game until the game feels much more like a job. No one gets immersed in the story/socializing/fun of it all, because they're too busy trying to quantify their 133t-ness, and deciding whom to ostracize for "inferior" builds. In these cases, where socializing is the motivation, seems like the other motivators can be checked at the door.

I need to get a good bike. I wish I could take up bike riding as hobby. Just the humidity in Alabama kills me (when coming from Idaho that has no humidity) and there arn't really any good places to ride around here that I know of.

For me, solo biking is a way to disconnect. Mp3 player, headphones, trail. Brain defrag.

I've always been nervous about riding with headphones. Maybe I'll give it a try sometime.

As for measurement, I'm a middle of the road guy. With gaming, I get them and say "Neat," but I've never really gone out of my way to get them. I thought that I would, but it hasn't turned out that way.

It's the same thing with the bike. I want to know speed, time, and distance. I haven't looked at something like my cadence in years. My current, 15 year old, cyclometer is breaking, so I have to decide between getting something fancy like the $400 Garmin GPS/HRM/everything toy or just buying an extra mount for my mountain bike cyclometer. Unless the bike shop guy has incredible powers of persuasion, the new mount is looking likely.

I cruise around on a JCPenney bike a friend retrieved from a dumpster. I added a basket to the front. I can feel people's envious eyes as a I roll by.

Great job, rabbit, and nice closer there!

rabbit wrote:

Charles hates this. He is an anti-achievement whore. He believes that things should just "be." He hates the idea that life can be measured, captured, sliced and broken into component pieces. He hates the data from my bicycle interrupting our rides. He hates the continuous measurement of scores in games, the achievement points. He hates the numbers that tally in his bank account.

I'm right there with Charles on this (though I'd probably insist on calling him "Chuck" because I am just that kind of asshole :wink:). Having spent less time working, though, I find different reasons to hate the numbers in my bank account.

The 360 is about the only place where this kind of thing doesn't upset me. It's just innocuous enough that I don't much care. While there's a challenge like the Old Spice one open, I'll actually like the system, since it's earning me pseudocash. Otherwise, I really just can't get motivated by that kind of thing at all. I'm more motivated by sunshine and music. Also whiskey.

In the intervening 30 years, we've gotten a little better.

Just how old can you be?!

Just kidding.

Thirteenth wrote:

Just how old can you be?!

Clearly Rabbit is one of us old gamers. Pushing up daisies as he cycled by forty. Fifty is calling, "come to me old balding Rabbit...." But he refuses saying, "My fingers still twitch ye can't have me yet" and so he rides his bike and monitors his achievements in the hope that his kids let him keep up as they grow older and destroy him on the bike, the xbox, the wii and all the other consoles and games to come. Well at least that is how I feel and it would be nice to have Rabbit's company along the way.

cmitts wrote:
Thirteenth wrote:

Just how old can you be?!

Clearly Rabbit is one of us old gamers. Pushing up daisies as he cycled by forty. Fifty is calling, "come to me old balding Rabbit...." But he refuses saying, "My fingers still twitch ye can't have me yet" and so he rides his bike and monitors his achievements in the hope that his kids let him keep up as they grow older and destroy him on the bike, the xbox, the wii and all the other consoles and games to come. Well at least that is how I feel and it would be nice to have Rabbit's company along the way.

I'm just fascinated. This guy's been riding bikes since before I was born.

Great stuff, rabbit!

I like achievements, but I'd never actively pursue them or put effort in them. When I ride my bike, it's nice to know how fast we went on average, but only if someone made the effort of installing a counter on their bikes The Xbox achievements seem awesome: suddenly you unlock an achievement while playing, and if you want to you always have more challenges to pursue.

Oh, and to those wanting to start biking: just buy a friggin' bike that's more or less comfortable and start pedalling. Anything else is bs.
I did the Ronde van Vlaanderen on a ten year old hybrid bike in my soccer gear, and I can't count the number of old saturated snobs on their flashy techbikes and cyclist gear I left behind on the way to Ninove

Heh heh, good to see another Trek user. I'm also a complete geek about cycling equipment (although not as bad as my younger brother. One time we were biking along and this rather attractive young lady was cycling towards us. After she had passed he turns to me and says: "Hot damn! Did you see the bike she was riding?!"). When I cycle alone I tend to be like Quentin_stone. I find it's a way to switch off my brain and just let my body do the work. Of course, I'm lucky enough to be in the south west of Ireland, so cycling here is a real pleasure. I did have a computer, but I never really paid much attention to it (except to see how fast I can go downhill. Whee!).

Alas, these days I don't have much time to go out cycling. I can feel myself becoming less and less fit, and I hate it. Ah well, I guess I'll have to get up earlier. Or spend less time gaming and more cycling *shudders*

With gaming, I tend not to be bothered about numbers, except when I'm playing an RPG. For some reason RPGs tend to make me obsessive about numbers. I love to know how much agility my character will have, and how much the STR and AGI contribute to my attack power, and what the best equipment is to facilitate that. I guess that makes me a part-time under-geek. Or something.

cmitts wrote:

"My fingers still twitch ye can't have me yet"

Well said!

dejanzie wrote:

Oh, and to those wanting to start biking: just buy a friggin' bike that's more or less comfortable and start pedalling. Anything else is bs.
I did the Ronde van Vlaanderen on a ten year old hybrid bike in my soccer gear, and I can't count the number of old saturated snobs on their flashy techbikes and cyclist gear I left behind on the way to Ninove :-D

Nice! I ride a bike everywhere (a rather goofy-looking Trek Navigator 300) in lieu of a car 'cause I'm a cheap bugger and like to think I'm sticking it to The Man. Snobby old folks in ad-covered spandex atop $3000 bikes have a habit of sneering in my general direction. Glad someone's out there showing them what's what ^.^

I agree: If you're looking to break in to cycling, I'd say get an entry level ride from a reputable brand (my little Trek was ~$350; comfy, mechanically sound) and just get out and use it. Even if you aren't into exercising for exercising's sake, use it for trips to the store or even the bar; if you're the DUI-type, this way you'll only kill yourlself. Saves $$, and gets you off yer arse. BONUS if you're an environmentally-minded person: you get instant street cred.

As an amateur amateur bicyclist and achievement whore I really enjoyed this article a lot. It feels like anytime I'm not crossing something off a list or "leveling up" I'm wasting my time though I've never been able to express that as well as you have.

@Rallick

I hear ya about the RPGs; I really ought to trade my WoW subscription in for a power meter. =P

Edit: Nevermind!

rabbit wrote:

But I'm human, an animal walking upright and wearing clothes. Underneath all this super-ego there lives an id-driven dog. And my how he likes it when the bell rings.

Hehe, yes, so true. Especially when conditioned with a decaying-ratio reward schedule. Like Xbox achievements.

rabbit wrote:

...he put up with my overweight huffing and we rode as hard as we could, as long as we could, as often as we could.

Sorry...it had to be done!

Good article.

I need to get back into cycling.

wow... nice... never have i thought that so many people would share interests that are polar opposites... video games and bicycling.

i know what your saying about the 'achievements' earned. but i dont measure mine digitally, i measure it by the hill i get to the top of, or sticking in the front of the pack, or my personal favorite.... passing a spandex rider, then hearing him/her struggle to catch up to me.... the the sweet sound of them fading into the distance as i continue to surge forward.

i got the techy bike, bianchi via nirone 7, i love it, but theres time when i still enjoy taking out the old fixie, or cruiser. its a nice disconnect, me, my bike, and the road. i got my phone, but its usually tucked away in my under saddle bag (for emergencies only), and stopped using headphones since an accident i had, although they had nothing to do with it.