Call For Writers - Closed

Thanks all around to those of you who submitted articles for our January Call For Writers. Following this morning's deadline, I opened up a number of the articles that had been filling my in-box over the past few weeks and casually browsed the first paragraph of a half-dozen or so entries. While I'll give them all a complete read in the long run, any good editor, a title I do not necessarily claim, knows that the first paragraph is often as good an indication as any of the overall quality of the work. If I don't want to keep reading at the end of the first paragraph, then probably our readers won't either, goes the ham-fisted logic. After reading seven or eight first paragraphs I realized I had a terrible if not impossible decision to make soon. These are good articles you've sent me, folks. Damn fine submissions from which I could probably populate the site with ten new writers of high-quality if I wanted.

We never like to introduce more than a couple new faces at any given time, so, as I said, I have a near insurmountable task before me. Thanks go to everyone daring enough to submit themselves to our Call! We will be going over the entries over the next several days.

Comments

I like the phrase "ham fisted." I may overuse it. Also, it makes me hungry.

Way to go, you Goodjers more daring than I!

I was gonna submit! but unfortunately, I installed Burning Crusade.

A hyena in Thousand Needles ate my homework?

*Goes back to read his first paragraph*

Oh dear.

Trashie wrote:

*Goes back to read his first paragraph*

Oh dear.

Quoted for Truth with a capital 'T'.

Wow, I managed to completely miss the Call. Bummer.

Good luck to everyone that submitted. Hopefully your first paragraphs were enough

wordsmythe wrote:

I like the phrase "ham fisted." I may overuse it. Also, it makes me hungry.

Mmm, ham fisted with butter fingers.

What counts as a first paragraph in a dirty limerick?

vbl wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:

I like the phrase "ham fisted." I may overuse it. Also, it makes me hungry.

Mmm, ham fisted with butter fingers.

Ok, I really need to go to lunch.

Dr_Awkward wrote:

What counts as a first paragraph in a dirty limerick?

"There once was a man from Nantucket"

Well, sh*t. In the spirit of brevity, I skipped the first paragraph.

And every paragraph after that.

wordsmythe wrote:
vbl wrote:
wordsmythe wrote:

I like the phrase "ham fisted." I may overuse it. Also, it makes me hungry.

Mmm, ham fisted with butter fingers.

Ok, I really need to go to lunch.

I ended up getting a ham sandwich for lunch. I hope you're happy.

Dr_Awkward wrote:

What counts as a first paragraph in a dirty limerick?

...or if you're a real master and can do limericks as a form of stanza in a larger work, just use that first one.

Do we have a limerick slam thread around here?

momgamer wrote:
Dr_Awkward wrote:

What counts as a first paragraph in a dirty limerick?

...or if you're a real master and can do limericks as a form of stanza in a larger work, just use that first one.

Do we have a limerick slam thread around here?

Slam poetry is evil.

(So long as I'm sober.)

wordsmythe likes to rave and to rant,
Be dependent he really just can't,
On his own two big feet,
He's an island complete.
He just can't put on any pants!

momgamer wrote:

Do we have a limerick slam thread around here?

Does this count?
Friday fun with limericks

momgamer wrote:

wordsmythe likes to rave and to rant,
Be dependent he really just can't,
On his own two big feet,
He's an island complete.
He just can't put on any pants!

;)

"Don't try to change me, babe."

georob wrote:
momgamer wrote:

Do we have a limerick slam thread around here?

Does this count?
Friday fun with limericks

That's exactly what I was talking about. But that was in 2004!

Anyone up for another to while away the time until the announcement?

Ah, I remember the first paragraph of my submission.

"I know where she is. If you don't bring me on board, the envelope will be mailed..."

Something like that.

I'll probably submit something in a possible future Call. I just couldn't think of anything this time around.

My tip for the week will probably be 'don't write an article at 2am in the morning in a war zone, send it off, and then forget to go back, re-read and edit that first paragraph' - lol

Just a tip from your uncle earl!

rabbit wrote:

Ah, I remember the first paragraph of my submission.

"I know where she is. If you don't bring me on board, the envelope will be mailed..."

Something like that.

At least it's original, I bastardized a Francis Ford Coppola script.