The world of computers can be a confusing mess of cumbersome acronyms and constantly changing trends, especially if you are a gamer. If you're like me you have some serious trouble keeping up with all of it. XAML? XNA? Should I podcast on my independent media blogosphere about it? I'd better check my cultural zeitgeist MediaWiki to see if I've been "dugg". It is a constant battle to decide, as an intelligent individual, how to best go about doing what everyone else is doing. So today as a service to our readers the Gaming Report has decided to bring you a guide to the current world of computers. The latest trends, technologies and services that you will most definitely be using in the coming months, as everyone else will be using them too. You don't want to get bombasticated do you? I didn't think so. Let's get straight to The Facts.
"dataprodding" is the newest trend to sweep the mainly static world of web browsing. With dataprodding, you can take the normally unchanging and boring world of the World Wide Web and add dynamic interactivity almost instantly! The way it works is a very complex web of system events and network transmissions, however it can be explained with a very simple analogy. You see, when you want to add some interactivity to your web experience, you simply prod the server for data. Dataprodding. Simple, yes? The best part is that you probably already have this functionality in your browser! The steps to initiate dataprodding are simple.
- Find the button marked "Refresh" or "Reload" on your webbrowser.
- Click it.
- Watch the magic!
Go ahead, try it out. I'll wait.
Did you see that? The entire web experience just exploded with interactivity. That's dataprodding for you.
"infocasting" is an interesting trend that has lately invaded the instant messaging space. Normally when you use instant messaging to talk to someone, you say something, then they say something else, etc., until the conversation is completed. It's a useful way to communicate but sometimes it can be slow while you wait for the other person to respond. Even worse, sometimes the other person's response may not even be what you want! For instance, let's say I'm talking to a user on my contact list. Let's call him "Bertis". I may initiate a conversation with "Bertis" by sending him a message about a given topic. That doesn't mean I want to know his response, I'm a busy man! I may need to discuss several topics before he can get around to responding. Sometimes, I may even reply to those topics because I already know the answer. There's no point in waiting for the "Bertis" answer if I already know the right response.
Infocasting solves all these problems and more. In order to infocast, first you'll want to find the IM handle you use to chat. Then, add that IM handle to your contact list. Wait, don't go, I know what you're thinking! "Is this man crazy, adding his own IM handle to his contact list? Don't look children, he may give you the crazy eyes." Don't worry, this isn't crazy, it's the secret to infocasting. The next step is to initiate a conversation with the IM handle you just added to your buddy list. Finally, send a message and watch the infocasting magic happen. Did you see that? You got the message immediately! Now you can respond. Watch as you get the response immediately! IM conversations can happen as fast as you can type them, because you're having a conversation with yourself! Infocasting at it's finest.
"OFC" or "Online Forum Calibration" is a new technique to get the most out of your online forum experience. The problem with online forums, generally speaking, is that there are just too many people in them. What's worse, they all have differing opinions on various topics. What if those topics happen to be something you have an opinion about? Not only is the online forum software allowing these people to broadcast their opinions to the entire world, their opinion is different from yours! How rude, such a clear breach of polite etiquette, yet it happens every day online. Imagine, right now there is someone who owns a video game console that is a different color than the video game console you own, and they enjoy it! Maybe you don't even own a console, did they stop and consider that before they started "talking" about their "opinions" all over the place? How do you deal with such a problem? It's simple with OFC.
OFC allows you to participate in a forum without having to worry about all those troublesome differences of opinion and the trials of a rational debate. It's a very simple process, and it works with any browser on any forum software. First, find a topic of interest. Then, follow these simple steps to calibrate your online forum.
- Skip immediately to the "reply" box and voice your opinion. Post it quickly before you notice anything else in the thread.
- Now, start at the beginning of the thread and start reading other people's posts.
- If the post agrees with you, reply to it by congratulating the poster on their intelligence and personal hygene.
- If the post disagrees with you, stop reading it immediately. These are the troublesome posts that OFC is meant to deal with. Reply to this post re-stating your opinion so that the poster can see how wrong their opinion is by comparison.
- Repeat until all posts have been dealt with.
With OFC you'll be reading a topic full of agreeing opinions in no time, since the majority of them will be yours. No more furrowed brows as you try to understand other people's opinions. No more broken monitors from punching your screen in frustration. Just try it, you'll be enjoying your online forum experience again in no time when you calibrate your online forum with OFC.
That's it for this edition of the technology trend roundup. Keep reading the Gaming Report for all your technology trend needs, soon you'll be ahead of the game just like everyone else. Who knows, maybe you'll even start a few trends of your own! You'd better hurry though, as most of the catchy names have already been used.* Remember to keep reading, and keep looking for The Facts.
* - Catchy Name Shortage is a serious problem facing our world today. Over 30 catchy names are used up by online bloggers each day to describe everyday tasks. Next time you try to think up a catchy name for making macaroni and cheese in a pie plate on your dorm stove, remember, catchy names are our nation's most precious resource. Don't waste them. Before you use a catchy name, please stop and remember the key to catchy name conservation. "Nobody cares." Thank you.