Dear World of Warcraft

I was doing my weekly rounds, going through everybody's desks after hours looking for change and incriminating documents for blackmail purposes when I stumbled across this letter Atomsmasher wrote to World of Warcraft. I couldn't believe what I was reading, I thought those two would last forever!

Since I can't really use something like this to my advantage I figured I'd post it up for you guys to read:

Dear World of Warcraft,

We've been together for over four months. We both know where things are going, and I think it's time we face facts: we need to break up.

Not that we haven't had our good times. I'll never forget our days in beta. At first it was just another fling...but things really seemed to click between us. You were so effortlessly enjoyable, so easy to get along with. It was almost as if I'd known you before. You reminded me of past relationships - except that you offered so much more. And you seemed so focused, so stable.

I hadn't been looking for anything long-term. But once you were available, I was sure I wanted to bring you home. I didn't make that commitment lightly. I knew there would be some new expenses, and that you'd require a significant amount of my free time. It was inevitable that some close friends - Nintendo and Sony, for example - would be edged out of my life. Still, I was certain it was the right thing to do.

But it was tougher than I thought. I didn't foresee the difficulties we'd face. Though you were always there for me during our beta weeks, suddenly you seemed preoccupied. I tried, but I couldn't get through to you. You were on again, off again. It was a tough time for me, and I really wondered if I'd made the right decision. But I stuck with it, and for a while, it seemed like we were back on track. And I was willing to accept the fact that, after all, no relationship is perfect.

As time went on, I kept trying to push our relationship to the next level. Sometimes it was a real grind. When a friend suggested we visit thottbot.com together, I was wary. But thottbot seemed to understand you, and with some work, we were able to overcome some serious communication problems. Thanks to thottbot, we really made some progress. But ultimately, it wasn't enough.

During the past week, we've had more time than ever together. And it hasn't been easy. The more I'm around you, the more our relationship has started to feel like the same old thing, over and over again. I'm tired of your countless quests. Sometimes, I don't even know what you want. I don't blame you personally, but I feel like you've taken over my life. Plus, you've been increasingly unstable. I know you're having problems of your own, but I really resent they way you've been kicking me out, without any warning or explanation.

I think of all the plans we'd made: I was studying to be an artisan alchemist, and my startup herb collection business was making a tidy profit at the auction house. We were going to explore the continents together, slaughtering all those who stood in our way. You said you'd help me obtain that skeletal war horse I'd always wanted. I'm sorry I'll miss out on those things. But realistically, I can't keep this up any longer.

So I'm moving on.

One of the hardest parts of saying goodbye is the realization that things will never be the same between me and our mutual friends. I've already broken the news to the guildmates. They were understanding, and wished me the best. I appreciated that they didn't take sides - I think that maybe they understood the toll that our relationship was taking on me. I'm really going to miss those guys.

Although I'd been with other games before, you were my first real MMORPG, and you'll always be special. I know you'll be fine without me, and ultimately, I don't expect you to be too upset. You're an amazing game, and I'm sure that whatever challenges you face, you'll find support. I hope that we can remain friends.

Thanks for everything, and goodbye.

P.S. I closed our bank account, and left the money and everything else with the guild. They've got a bunch of herbs, some potions, a few recipes, and some other stuff. I threw out the spider ichor, as it had gone bad.

- Atomsmasher

Comments

I should point out I've had this sitting on my desk since March 24th so if anything seems out of date that's why.

now thats both funny and sad all at once

It's sad how all that fits together so well with what could be a *real* relastionship.

The power of online gaming!

Very good.

Now can I see the nekkid 4tom took of WoW while she was sleeping?

I'd like to see blackfathom deeps.

Now can I see the nekkid 4tom took of WoW while she was sleeping?

I'm on board with this. Think of all the times that crazy bitch kicked your ass out of bed, screaming about needing her time alone or some sh*t. Now's your chance to get even!

1Dgaf wrote:

I'd like to see blackfathom deeps.

And the Twin Colossals?

But what if, y'know...Blackrock Spire?

Razorgrin wrote:
1Dgaf wrote:

I'd like to see blackfathom deeps.

And the Twin Colossals?

But what if, y'know...Blackrock Spire?

Then we call her Lola and move on... quickly.

You can't leave the Gaping Chasm out of that discussion.

Is that the place in southern Tanaris with the giant bug legs? That's not a ringing endorsement for ol' Azeroth.

I saw 4tom the night he left WoW and he ended up giving me most of his stuff, it worked out to 16 gold. (I tried to talk him out of it) Well 4tom, recently I finally got my mount and I just want to say thanks again because your contribution surely speeded up my meagre savings ability.

I can't believe that bitch treated you that way. You deserve better, The Fly. Keep looking!

I am going to try avoiding quests altogether before I consider quitting.

shihonage wrote:

I am going to try avoiding quests altogether before I consider quitting.

What? That is the fastest way to quiting I would think. Grind grind grind, how is that fun?

I threw out the spider ichor, as it had gone bad.

Every time I think of this line, I chuckle at the very least. Sometimes, I even guffaw!

That was a good read and I don't even play Wow.

Thanks for the comments. If you want to read more about my last hours with the game, you can check out this post over at my blog:

http://rendergaming.blogspot.com/200...

Great "letter" The Fly (damn you Fletcher, it's catchy) I hope you two will remain friends with benefits however

What? That is the fastest way to quiting I would think. Grind grind grind, how is that fun?

The quests are grinds on their own. Everytime you finish one you don't feel like you've done anything cause the bastard just whines for something else.

It's sad how all that fits together so well with what could be a *real* relastionship.

Even worse that that sounds a lot like how I was feeling at the end of MY last relationship.

LeapingGnome wrote:
shihonage wrote:

I am going to try avoiding quests altogether before I consider quitting.

What? That is the fastest way to quiting I would think. Grind grind grind, how is that fun?

Without quests I wouldn't be restricted to going to the same place over and over feeling an OBLIGATION fo kill 20 Shmock Rockers and 25 Shmock Poopers. I could just go and find places where other people are killing their Shmocks and go around helping them.

The great thing is true love will wait for you to come back with open arms once you have admired her from afar again and gained new adoration for her allure and mystical ways :).

I have found the secret to WOW is not to play as a power gamer. No blocks longer then 6 hours and no more then two consecutive days...

yikes, rereading that last sentence is is scary on many levels.

BRILLIANT!

Hee