Dear World of Warcraft
I was doing my weekly rounds, going through everybody's desks after hours looking for change and incriminating documents for blackmail purposes when I stumbled across this letter Atomsmasher wrote to World of Warcraft. I couldn't believe what I was reading, I thought those two would last forever!
Since I can't really use something like this to my advantage I figured I'd post it up for you guys to read:
Dear World of Warcraft,
We've been together for over four months. We both know where things are going, and I think it's time we face facts: we need to break up.
Not that we haven't had our good times. I'll never forget our days in beta. At first it was just another fling...but things really seemed to click between us. You were so effortlessly enjoyable, so easy to get along with. It was almost as if I'd known you before. You reminded me of past relationships - except that you offered so much more. And you seemed so focused, so stable.
I hadn't been looking for anything long-term. But once you were available, I was sure I wanted to bring you home. I didn't make that commitment lightly. I knew there would be some new expenses, and that you'd require a significant amount of my free time. It was inevitable that some close friends - Nintendo and Sony, for example - would be edged out of my life. Still, I was certain it was the right thing to do.
But it was tougher than I thought. I didn't foresee the difficulties we'd face. Though you were always there for me during our beta weeks, suddenly you seemed preoccupied. I tried, but I couldn't get through to you. You were on again, off again. It was a tough time for me, and I really wondered if I'd made the right decision. But I stuck with it, and for a while, it seemed like we were back on track. And I was willing to accept the fact that, after all, no relationship is perfect.
As time went on, I kept trying to push our relationship to the next level. Sometimes it was a real grind. When a friend suggested we visit thottbot.com together, I was wary. But thottbot seemed to understand you, and with some work, we were able to overcome some serious communication problems. Thanks to thottbot, we really made some progress. But ultimately, it wasn't enough.
During the past week, we've had more time than ever together. And it hasn't been easy. The more I'm around you, the more our relationship has started to feel like the same old thing, over and over again. I'm tired of your countless quests. Sometimes, I don't even know what you want. I don't blame you personally, but I feel like you've taken over my life. Plus, you've been increasingly unstable. I know you're having problems of your own, but I really resent they way you've been kicking me out, without any warning or explanation.
I think of all the plans we'd made: I was studying to be an artisan alchemist, and my startup herb collection business was making a tidy profit at the auction house. We were going to explore the continents together, slaughtering all those who stood in our way. You said you'd help me obtain that skeletal war horse I'd always wanted. I'm sorry I'll miss out on those things. But realistically, I can't keep this up any longer.
So I'm moving on.
One of the hardest parts of saying goodbye is the realization that things will never be the same between me and our mutual friends. I've already broken the news to the guildmates. They were understanding, and wished me the best. I appreciated that they didn't take sides - I think that maybe they understood the toll that our relationship was taking on me. I'm really going to miss those guys.
Although I'd been with other games before, you were my first real MMORPG, and you'll always be special. I know you'll be fine without me, and ultimately, I don't expect you to be too upset. You're an amazing game, and I'm sure that whatever challenges you face, you'll find support. I hope that we can remain friends.
Thanks for everything, and goodbye.
P.S. I closed our bank account, and left the money and everything else with the guild. They've got a bunch of herbs, some potions, a few recipes, and some other stuff. I threw out the spider ichor, as it had gone bad.