Employee Profiles: Podunk
Podunk. The name alone conjures images of, I dunno, some toothless appalachian sipping moonshine from a jug with XXX scrawled across the front. But, Podunk, the man as we know him, has surmounted my preconceived notions of his being a West Virginy vagrant who likes a fussin' and a feudin' and become a towering standard of our humble site. From his outstanding musical work on GWJ Radio, to his award winning advertisement for that tasty, if viscous, zombie drink: Encephalic Fluid you can hardly swing a dang ol' ring-tail possum without slapping into Podunk's omnipresence. But for me, what really really stands out about this man, this GWJ icon, this ... Podunk, is simply that he invented and coined the phrase Goodjer. And I swear upon the seven fiery hells, one day I will kill him for it. A pox on thee.
Adorable picture in 3 ... 2... 1...
Your precious, heart-warming offspring will only stay my hand so long, old, drunken moonshiner. One day, I will come for you, and as I stab deep let the last words that pass your lips be: goodger.
1) Who the devil are you?
My name is Ian. I am 30 years old. I live with my wife and daughter in a depressed little timber town on the Washington coast. Kurt Cobain grew up here. That makes it both awesome and terrible, depending on whom you ask. I'm a musician by training, and I am currently on the tail end of the slow transition from angry, elitist jerk to laid-back and good-natured elitist jerk. I enjoy the outdoors, playing games, and cursing.
2) What are you supposed to be doing during the day when you're reading GWJ?
By day I work in the engineering department at a company that designs and manufactures severe duty centrifugal pumps. My main responsibility is running and documenting customer and R&D tests in our test facility. By night I assume the mantle of classical musician up at the local college, where I teach voice lessons and direct their concert choir. I also co-own an audio production company that might conceivably provide some audio assets for a game one day. This paragraph makes it sound like I work much harder than I actually do.
3) How about family? Kids? Pets? Particularly meaningful inanimate objects?
I have been married for a little over three years. We have a beautiful 2-year-old daughter and a bun in the proverbial oven. Rounding out the family are two retired show horses and one neurotic cat. There's nothing all the interesting about any of my inanimate objects.
4) What was your favorite game over the last year or so? Why?
My favorite single player experience over the past year was probably Half Life 2, followed closely by Halo 2. In fact, if you could somehow fuse the two games and blend Half Life 2's atmosphere and art direction with Halo 2's audio and multiplayer and then add a real ending you would probably have the perfect FPS game. My favorite multiplayer experience is a toss up between Halo 2, Battlefield 2, and Unreal Tournament 2004. In terms of raw investment of hours, UT2k4 would have to get the prize, as I still play it almost every day on my lunch break with my coworkers.
5) Which game are you looking forward to most?
I'm eagerly anticipating much of the 2006 Xbox 360 lineup, particularly Gears of War and Mass Effect.
6) What is your fondest gaming memory?
Monster Rancher for PS1 is this amusing little game where you put a CD in the Playstation and a unique monster gets generated based on some code on the disc. You train and feed your monster, and ultimately you take it to the arena to fight other monsters. The game has a great mechanic that allows the AI to take control of your monster if you don't want to control it in combat, which is actually highly desirable if you have just consumed six beers. I have many fond gaming memories, but the fondest of all is probably the memory of the first night my college roommate and I spent drunkenly cheering on our monster (his name was Jimmy) over a half-rack of Molson.
7) Better guitar solo, twedledeedeleeesqueeeee or bahndahnsqueedelegrawwwn?
Whichever best fits the song, of course!
8) Finally, why do you play games at all? Why haven't you outgrown them?
Because I am hopelessly addicted. And because they are murder simulators, and I have to keep my skills polished for when I inevitably need to kill some motherf*ckers.
9) Thanks for taking the time to answer our hard hitting questions! Any last words?
You're welcome! GWJ FTW!!!