Employee Profile: Edwin

It's refreshing to see that you've all become quite dedicated to perverting the Employee Profiles with inappropriate pictures of yourselves to display proudly in a public environment. No wait, not refreshing; that other word. Oh yes, disturbing. I see we have no one here intending to ever run for public office, or hold a job that requires a background check. While a floor mat substitute for pants is arguably both better and far worse than Bagga's coconuts, and Mex's wearing only a come-hither stare, I'm becoming increasingly concerned that you've all got man-crushes on me. I'm glad my wife is a regular visitor to the site, or else I'd hate to explain the pictures of half-naked men I seem to be hoarding.

IMAGE(http://www.gamerswithjobs.com/files/images/PantlessEdwin.thumbnail.jpg)

Oh, I'm supposed to say something nice about Edwin. He has a beard, and beards are awesome. That's all the nice you people get until you stop sending me amateur erotica!

1) Who the devil are you?

Most people know me as Mongolian Motherf**ker (official name at work). Others call me pervert. In reality I am the crazy Puerto Rican just trying to get out of college so I can have more time to play games, and after reading what I typed here I realize that I know way too much about games.
IMAGE(http://chirol.svist.net/chirol_as.gif)

{ed: what the living hell is that thing?!}

2) What are you supposed to be doing during the day when you're reading GWJ?

Supposedly I am paying attention in class as I rarely work during the week. With the release of Civilization 4 I fear my in class browsing of GWJ may have died while I play one more turn. Note to those who try this: Make sure you turn off the in game VoIP along with the other sounds. Last thing you need to do is explain to your professor why JMDanny just yelled "Eat that you c*ck sucker of a Roman!"

3) How about family? Kids? Pets? Particularly meaningful inanimate objects?

No family of my own. I can't even get a date right now. I got one Dalmatian that is too smart for his own good. Without power to my PC, I ALMOST DIED (© *LEGION* 2006). Does pudding count for this question? I like pudding. Especially when being used for wrestling on Tuesday nights at the Sandbar's White Trash Bash. Yummy.

4) What was your favorite game over the last year or so? Why?

So many to choose so little time! Half-Life 2 was quite enjoyable but I still have yet to see the mod community explode as it did in Half-Life 1. Perhaps more time is needed. Halo 2 was enjoyable for a bit but I thought the E3 demo of the single player game looked a lot better and was more interesting. Have I ever mentioned how big of a Splinter Cell multiplayer fiend I am? No? That's right, I forgot you never hear me before it is too late. Civilization 4 is moving on up my list of favorites right now but for how long I play remains to be seen, although playing in class is quite tempting!

World of Warcraft ate so much time (495 hours) but I made so many new friends (Bean and his fiancé, Grumpicus, Codexmatt, that dude in Boston that I forget his forum name but was called Pragg in game) that it was well worth it.

Has anyone ever thought Konami should make a comedy? What if I told you to check out Metal Gear Solid 3? I busted a spleen laughing at the waterfall scene in game. Best stealth comedy sci-fi cold war conspiracy hippy romantic game ever.

This is starting to get long winded so let's move on and just pretend I made some comments on Battlefield 2, F.E.A.R., Pirates!, Call of Duty 2, Far Cry Instincts Multiplayer, and Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War: Winter Assault (game of the moment). Maybe I should let my Xfire profile do the talking for me.

See what I did there? Instead of picking one favorite I stalled by defying your boundaries of makeshift rules by listing all I consider favorites, less those not chosen be lonely in the not favorite category. Me so smart.

IMAGE(http://miniprofile.xfire.com/bg/bg/type/0/therealedwin.png)

5) Which game are you looking forward to most?

Do I have to pick one again? Too bad! I hear Black by Criterion is the new color. Maybe Front Mission Online (typed as I listen to the Front Mission 4 soundtrack) will finally let me use my damned PS2 network adaptor that I bought for the Syphon Filter BETA, and Ratchet and Clack BETA but I used it twice! What a waste. Speaking of disappointments, here is hoping that Hitman: Blood Money, Commandos Strike Force, and Final Fantasy XII don't suck.

As for PC, I eagerly await Oblivion, Rise of Nations: Rise of Legends with everyone one else and quite possibly Hammer & Sickle. Recently removed was S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl. Quite possibly my most anticipated is Company of Heroes since it has fully destroyable environments that made Silent Storm so enjoyable.

6) What is your fondest gaming memory?

Without a doubt my first lan party while I was in high school. We had the entire library to ourselves which was brand new and very nice. This was easily early 2001 when someone had a leaked gold copy of Win XP about six months before it was suppose to be released. No one played any games till much later at night. Everyone just f*cked around trying to get Office and Win XP installed. As a prank the staff members dressed up as SWAT team and raided the lan party shouted "BSA! BSA! Get down on the floor!"

At the same lan party we pulled out this guy's brand new GeForce 4 Ti4600 which had just been released when he wasn't looking. That was probably the first time I saw someone ninja something. So many good memories like the PC we opened up to find a family of spiders and cob webs everywhere. The porn, and anime leaching was overloading the hubs (switches were too expensive!).
If only those days would come back.

7) Which is the better 12th century historical text by William of Malmesbury: "Gesta Regum" or "Gesta Pontificum"?

Are, are you coming on to me? I know you like the beard and all since Elysia can't grow one (that I know of) but hitting on a big burly man is... HELP I NEED AN ADULT!

8) Finally, why do you play games at all? Why haven't you outgrown them?

Biggest reason for playing games is because I was ordered to by the court system. You see this one time at militia camp I"… don't want to talk about it anymore.

Don't tell my mom that you can outgrow games. Otherwise I am screwed.

9) Thanks for taking the time to answer our hard hitting questions! Any last words?

Anyone need a new room mate? Preferably some place where there are no hurricanes.

Comments

Lovely attire, Edwin

I think we should all be frightened, however. Too many nipples and rugs!

Gamers With Jobs - Forcing you to question your masculinity since 2003.

Awesome! My long-burning desire to learn more about Edwin has been fulfilled!! Almost!!

I think Edwin found the latest style. Don't ya hate pants?

DrunkenSleipnir wrote:

I think we should all be frightened, however. Too many nipples and rugs!

Is that a rug, though? It looks to me like he photoshopped static over...I dare not contemplate it. My sanity hangs in the balance.

Also:

Last thing you need to do is explain to your professor why JMDanny just yelled "Eat that you c*ck sucker of a Roman!"

Amazing.

but I made so many new friends (Bean and his fiancé...

Whacka-whacka. Yes, out of all of that I can unerringly yank the wheat from the chaff. Menage baby!

Mr E.B. Slugworth wrote:

Don't ya hate pants?

Yes.

Anyone need a new room mate? Preferably some place where there are no hurricanes.

I'd help you out, but you'd probably get mistaken for one of the mexican migrant workers up here and forced to do landscaping or something. On the plus side, you can take your driver's test in spanish at the local DMV.

IMAGE(http://chirol.svist.net/chirol_as.gif)
{ed: what the living hell is that thing?!}

Dear god, I think Kirby got into Edwin's pr0n collection.

Love the boat's name Edwin.

Mixolyde wrote:
Anyone need a new room mate? Preferably some place where there are no hurricanes.

I'd help you out, but you'd probably get mistaken for one of the mexican migrant workers up here and forced to do landscaping or something. On the plus side, you can take your driver's test in spanish at the local DMV.

I don't know where they import your Mexican's from but I have never seen a tall pale mexican.

Also that's a photoshop filter. I figured since the picture would be on the front page and all. If you are super curious I got a myspace thingie.

My, you are a tall one! Nice to see The Real Edwin!

Also that's a photoshop filter.

Really, I mean how would he be holding up a rug or floor mat with no hands?

SillyRabbit wrote:

My, you are a tall one! Nice to see The Real Edwin!

Also that's a photoshop filter.

Really, I mean how would he be holding up a rug or floor mat with no hands? :wink:

Static electricity in the wang area. Super charged to the extreme.

Oh man, finally a face to match all the crazy posts... now I need to poke out my eyes.

The question that matters is, was it Edwin that applied the filter, or Elysium ?

My money is on Elysia. She wants to keep that image all to herself.

What an awesome pic. That's one of the best boat names I've ever seen.

Ely, next employee profile? We needs some breasts.

That. Is a. FANTASTIC. Boat. Name.

Yes it is.

Logan wrote:

Ely, next employee profile? We needs some breasts.

Dude, knowing the people running the show around here, you'd better becareful what you wish for.

Do you want the breasts shaved or hairy?

Logan wrote:

Ely, next employee profile? We needs some breasts.

I thought Bagga's (unclothed) and mine (properly clothed man-breasts) would suffice.

So....THIS is the agile ninja-like Splinter Cell opponent who snuck up on me time and time again unseen, snapping my neck before I could see his face? If he had no pants on then, I'm GLAD he killed me. It could have been so much....worse!

Great to "meet" ya, Edwin!

How did you ever find a boat with your namesake? If it's not your boat it should be. Pretty cool pic.

Great profile. Whoever did the photoshop edit, THANK YOU!

The boats mine. The photo was taken in my driveway right after Katrina hit us. The boat is a Sea Fox so all I did was just get someone to put the wording I wanted on it. I kept the Sea Fox logo because it looks like a pair of briefs to me.

So, now I know the guy who has been on my X-fire list for the longest time.

On a related note, the pantsless humor is a great thing in this day and age of the world.

Enjoyed the profile of the crazy Edwin.

"Crazy Edwin, sir!"

"Which way is he turning, Jonesy?"

"To the pantless, sir!"

Let's keep these profiles going, powers that be!

Good to see you're alive deadend. You should speak up some more.

Edwin wrote:

Good to see you're alive deadend. You should speak up some more.

First thing: nice boat.

Second thing: Yes on the speaking up for Deadend. He knows old friends of mine from high school that moved to MI.

Alright, I am changing my homepages around. I have just been on EvAv and Michigangamers mostly. Even though I prefer the posts on here, a bit more mature, and fewer people. So I am going to speak up more, and possibly just more than quoting someone and saying "ditto to that!"

heck yeah, Thin_J and I went to High School with the same person(s).