Holiday Cheer

Hello. My name is Fletcher1138. You may recognize me from such posts as Asshats and H2, Apoplexy of the Week: H2 Ending, and Halo 2 Vs. My Soul.

I've been asked by the management to share a little bit about myself before dumping you straight into the swirling vortex of vitriolic (stole that word from Ely) bile that is my outlook on life, games, the games that people play and the people who play the games that people play, etc.

But first I'd like to thank the team at GWJ for giving me this chance to soil the front page with my rambling drivel. And I hope that the case of scotch I sent over goes down real smooth. [/finger gun]

Now then, about me; I'm originally from Texas, but I've lived all over. I currently live in Boston, where I run a small unit of elite vigilante terrorists out of my basement. (Okay, that's not really true. But damn! That'd be cool woodnit?) In a former life I was the Head Writer and Producer of The Screen Savers on TechTV (The Leo and Patrick version, not the crappy ones). I've also contributed to the odd website now and again. I've also seen Wayne Brady naked (but that's another story).

But my true passion is gaming. Gaming and women"…. My TWO true passions are gaming, women and a fanatical devotion to booze"… My THREE true passions are"… (Get on with it. –ed.)

"… anyway. Thank you for tuning in, and I hope that y'all will find what I have to say at least a little bit interesting.

I mean, I think that if you don't you can all go to hell, but they told me to pretend to care. So there! Happy Certis? I can be considerate when I freakin' feel like it! Don't make that face at me! I'll take away your wubby!

(And now the article. –ed.)

Holiday Cheer

I've found that how one characterizes the Holiday season says a great deal about that person. Not in any "What Your Boyfriend's Sheets Say About Him" kind of way, but in more of a "This is What Matters to Me" kind of way.

For example, most of the talk on this and other gaming forums for the past two months has been about the avalanche of new releases that are sitting in stores, taunting us, challenging us to spend our money in wise and responsible ways (like on rent, food, heating oil, etc.) rather than on the pleasure of taking them home. What this says about us is that we are big fans of games, which would seem to be obvious.

Others I speak with prattle on about things like eggnog, ginger cookies and caroling at Grandma's house. Granted, I enjoy these things too, but not as much as gaming. Therein lies the rub: at what point this holiday season should we, as gamers, be reasonably expected to lay down our controllers and join in the holiday cheer?

If our mothers and significant others are to be believed, we should have stopped playing games ten years ago and devoted our lives entirely to hanging Christmas lights from the third story windows and setting off on week-long caroling adventures until no living man, woman or child could rest without a sugar plum dancing in their head.

And yet the voice inside our heads (the same one which claims that wearing two sweaters and a hat indoors for the entire winter is a small price to pay in exchange for the Limited Collector's Edition of every game ever created) urges us to go all Scrooge on the whole damn season and tell the family to cram their figgy pudding where the sun don't shine.

Clearly a happy medium must be found.

Allow me to make the following suggestion: starting the first week of the season, devote one entire evening to your family and/or friends. Make popcorn strings, drink mulled cider and laugh about memories past "… whatever. Then, as the season progresses, expand this time for holiday cheer to include one extra evening per week. Whichever major holiday you celebrate, the goal should be to eventually wind up with one whole week devoted to expressing your love for your fellow men (not like that, sicko) and sharing that love with those who are closest to you.

Don't hang up yet.

After the holiday passes you may then feel free to tell everyone to go to hell and spend the next eighty-nine hours straight playing whichever of your ten thousand recently neglected games bests suits your mood. That is, if you still want to.

Some of you may discover that you've been missing a whole level of human interaction. You may find that people, not games, provide warmth, understanding and meaning to your lives and therefore decide to try not playing for a while longer just to see what kind of spiritual and intellectual enlightenment may come your way.

And after those two or three people log off, the rest of us can then resume blowing each other to tiny little bits.

Happy Holidays.

-Fletcher1138

Comments

Big welcome to the site Flectcher, I hope you have a high tolerance for physical and mental abuse.

Certis wrote:

Big welcome to the site Flectcher, I hope you have a high tolerance for physical and mental abuse.

And for people misspelling my name.

Congrats Fletcher.

And for people misspelling my name.

Don't sass me on your first day Feltcher.

Congrats Fletcher

Here's to hoping all 3 of your passions will be brimming over this holiday season..

I did help out my girlfriend when setting up the tree, I think I put on an ornament at one point. But the rest of the time she said things like "no, not there - here. Wait, that doesn't look right. Argh, just let me do it"

Well at least I got to hang the Christmas pickle. Yeah, I said pickle. Best ornament ever.

Welcome Flecher138,

None too soon, either... I needed more cowb...errr... content.

Welcome to the front page Fletcher. We will expect weekly articles without fail, or the community as a whole will subject you to ridicule and emotional abuse.

Good luck!

Swat wrote:

"no, not there - here. Wait, that doesn't look right. Argh, just let me do it"

...... that was from the setting up of the christmas tree.. or something else?

j/k

Oh yeah, 'grats Fletch.. may you write a thousand words and have meaning in only your last sentence.

Yeah, I had to do one of these when I read:

the rest of us can then resume blowing each other

but was relieved when my eyes scanned the next line.. phew..

Swat wrote:

Yeah, I had to do one of these when I read:

the rest of us can then resume blowing each other

but was relieved when my eyes scanned the next line.. phew..

Hmm. Forgot to turn off the Subliminal Sex Insinuator. Sorry boot that. That sort of thing is usually BeLOW ME.

I currently live in Boston, where I run a small unit of elite vigilante terrorists out of my basement.

I tried that once, but I could not get used to the smell of lye burns and soap making in the kitchen.. oh those were the days!

And yet the voice inside our heads (the same one which claims that wearing two sweaters and a hat indoors for the entire winter is a small price to pay in exchange for the Limited Collector's Edition of every game ever created) urges us to go all Scrooge on the whole damn season and tell the family to cram their figgy pudding where the sun don't shine.

Wow! Use of "Figgy pudding" where you don't sound like a total loser... Impressive

Fletcher1138 wrote:
Swat wrote:

Yeah, I had to do one of these when I read:

the rest of us can then resume blowing each other

but was relieved when my eyes scanned the next line.. phew..

Hmm. Forgot to turn off the Subliminal Sex Insinuator. Sorry boot that. That sort of thing is usually BeLOW ME.

We haven't set up our tree yet, mainly because my wife is to busy playing Sims 2 on the weekends. That's right, for once she's the one to busy with games to do holiday stuff.

Nice work Fletcher! Congrats and welcome!

Hah! You had me going. Yeah, quit playing games and actually spend time with family.. bwahahah!

Congrats and looking forward to more.

n a former life I was the Head Writer and Producer of The Screen Savers on TechTV (The Leo and Patrick version, not the crappy ones).

Awesome.

I've also seen Wayne Brady naked (but that's another story).

Awesome.

.... wait, I didn't mean that part!

Quote:
I've also seen Wayne Brady naked (but that's another story).

Intentionally? By choice?

Cool, another poor bastard that we get to poke with sticks.

Congrats.

congrats fletcher I hope you enjoy writing for the front page.

Nice job, Fletcher. Although, I should note that I myself would never make the mistake of telling my extended family to "cram their figgy pudding where the sun don't shine." They just may oblige!

Congratulations Flitzberger, and welcome to the front page! Nice to have your with us.

Congrats Fletcher! Looking forward to future articles.

In a former life I was the Head Writer and Producer of The Screen Savers on TechTV (The Leo and Patrick version, not the crappy ones).

Cool, I used to be a huge fan. Now don't let me down.

I've also seen Wayne Brady naked (but that's another story).

I'd like to hear *that* story, please. ;p

I want to read the other submissions too! Congrats Fletcher.

Same here, don't let Edwin's wireless headset review go to waste I was holding one in my hands today and because I hadn't read his review, well..

Seeing as there's a few of us who enjoy writing reviews, is there a possibility we'll see a forum dedicated to this in the future?

Great article Fletcher.

There's some good lines in there. I kept waiting for that whole paragraph about gaming less to turn into a joke, and was satisfied when it finally did

WRITE US MORE!

Nice article, welcome Flatulence!

As the only on topic reply, I'm going to say I usually balance it out by spending most of my vacation time at home with family and crappy internet, interspersed with a LAN party / late night console gaming when I can get it. That way, I get a day or two to completely zone out and play games constantly, and the other days I spend with family and friends. It works pretty well for me.

Is good Fletcher, papa like.

Elysium wrote:

Congratulations Flitzberger, and welcome to the front page! Nice to have your with us.

[sniff!] He noticed me! [sniff! gasp! swoon!]

Thank you back. And to everyone who's been so kind: I'm looking forward to seeing that love and affection turn to hatred and cruelty!