So I got the Gamecube a while back right? Well one glance at the Nintendo logo and the music from the original Zelda started running through my head non-stop. After about a week of greeting friends and coworkers with my rendition of Doooo – doo – doo – du – du – dooo"… I say to myself, "Self, you're obviously remembering fondly the days of yesteryear, so why not use this fine opportunity with which the horribly evil New England winter has presented you and relive them by playing The Legend of Zelda all over again?"
"Hey, self!" says I. "That's a pretty good idea. You're a freaking genius!"
And then I got to thinking. I haven't owned a Nintendo product since I sold my NES for beer money in college. So I missed out on a lot of great games for the SNES and N64, particularly the Zelda sequels, which I hear were excellent, but never played. Why not play all of them now? There's even a new one coming out in June. This could be the year of Zelda! All Zelda, all the time baby.
So here it is. The quest: I'm going to play all of the Zeldas (except game boy Zeldas) in order, starting with the very first, my one true love, The Legend of Zelda, and ending with the new Legend of Zelda coming in June.
Prepare yourself.
Day one
Legend of Zelda
Gamecube
Am I the only one who gets chills when that opening screen comes up with the waterfall and the Zelda theme starts playing? The music! It's the theme that's been running through my head for weeks! At last I hear it in all of its 8-bit glory! Man. I have some fond memories of this game. Ah, the nights we spent together"…
Day One.Five
Legend of Zelda
Gamecube
Halfway through Zelda. Damn those two midi songs get old. Just two songs huh? And what's with the graphics? I thought Link was green, not pea soup. Maybe I need to adjust my TV. Anyway. It's been exactly as I remembered so far. Except I don't remember a damn thing, so I downloaded a map off the internet. Sweet. I never got all the heart containers before. I feel like a god. Like a 1985 god with feathered hair, a sleeveless t-shirt and a pair of Angelflights. Just like David Lee Roth "… Panama – ah – oh – oh – uh – oh!. Reach down "… between my legs ... and grab the silver boomerang "…
P.S. I hate wizrobes.
Day Two
Legend of Zelda
Gamecube
Okay, gotta finish level 6. Stupid pancake things keep eating my shields. The flaming balls of death coming out of those statues suck too. Why can't you kill the statues? Magic statues? You can move boulders, but you can't topple statues? Where's that company of marines with the armored crane? I try beating the statue with my shoe but it keeps spitting flaming balls of death at me and I die. Bad idea then.
I hate level 6.
Day Two.Five
Legend of Zelda
Gamecube
Level 9. Where's the stupid red ring? Redring redring redring! I give up.
Day 3
Legend of Zelda
Gamecube
I remember when this used to take me fours hours tops. I'd play through the game three times in a day. Wow. How simple life can be when you're ten. When did sex and booze start taking up so much of my time? Do you know how hard it is to kill a wizrobe when you're drunk? Don't they have an "adult" difficulty setting for these games? Hard, Medium, Easy, Drunk. That's how the world should be.
Okay, I've forgotten how to beat Gannon. Back to the internet "… "slash blindly" "… okay. Now I feel stupid.
Hooray I saved the princess. Play through the "B" side? No thanks. One down a few more to go. At this rate I'll be done with this quest by March and I'll have all spring to sit back on my heels and laugh at how little work I have left to do! I think I'll start now. Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Ow my heels hurt.
The Legend of Zelda: Completed
Day Four
Link to the Past
ZSNES
I'm going to try playing Zelda 2 any minute now. Just thought I'd fire up LttP to see if I remembered anything useful. Oh yeah. Right. Throwing pots. Heh. Oh and you get to name your character. Cool. They even call you by your real name "… um "… but aren't you Link? This is confusing.
Day Four.Six
Link to the Past
ZSNES
This one is even more addicting than the first. I can't stop playing!
Rescued Zelda after about five minutes in. Okay, but isn't that supposed to happen at the end of the game? Now I'm more confused. She says she "knew I was getting close." Heh. That's what the GF said.
Love Link's new dying animation. Of course getting killed by a mouse is a bit emasculating. Good time to stop.
Day Four.Nine
The Legend of Zelda 2: Link's Adventure
Game Cube
Yep. Sucks about as much as I remembered. Hey, there's a lady in Rauru who kinda looks like a whore. Says she'll restore my life if I "come inside." Wow. Nintendo really let the kids off the leash for this one didn't they?
Ten minutes in and I'm done. I just can't continue playing this crap. Sorry. If I remember correctly, that's how I felt about it the first time I played it twenty years ago, too. If I feel like playing a poorly designed Castlevania clone set in the Zelda universe between now and the time the next Zelda comes out, maybe I'll plug this one back in. Of course there's some broken glass and rusty nails out on the back porch that I could chew on instead, so maybe I won't get around to Zelda 2. We'll play it by ear.
Day Five
Link to the Past
ZSNES
Got past those mousey things. Tough little f**kers. I like how the people in the village run away from me screaming. Is it because I'm a little kid running around in a green suit with a bloody sword and a string of mouse scalps hung around my neck like some midget Green Beret? Perhaps.
Modern RPG and action games have kind of ruined me on the straight forward, always-the-good-guy gameplay environments from the eighties and nineties. I wish that just once I could make Link say "F**k you, buddy. It's not my fault your pansy-ass kid took to flute playing and ran off into the woods to play with animals. Jeebus Crispy, what the hell did you do to him anyway? Now give me what I want or I'll slice your throat open! I'm trying to save the planet here. You get that? Save the planet. I've killed mice, for f**k's sake, I could do you in a heartbeat!"
Day Five.Five
Link to the Past
ZSNES
Killed the first big level boss. Or bosses to be more precise. Bunch of knight-type things bouncing around trying to squish me. What's up with the bouncy bad guys in this game? I'm going to need more bourbon if I'm going to make it through this one. And a map. Thank god for the Internet and people with far more free time than I.
"… to be continued "…
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I think, even more so then the Mario or Metroid games, that Zelda occupies a special and unique place in many gamer's hearts.
I've never understood what it was about an elf in green tights that appealed to so many people, but he did! Please don't forget about Zelda II! So many gamers do, and it's really quite a worthwhile game, I swear!
Oh yes, and if you REALLY want to complete the Zelda experience, try to find the Lengend of Zelda Board Game.
The only Zelda game that I have ever actually played through was Zelda DX on the Gameboy colour. I did get fairly far in Orcrina of Time but other than that I have barely touched any Zelda games. Sacrililage, I know.
Final Warrior Quest - Play it for free!
Agent of Fate - Play it for free!
Oh damn that's funny stuff Fletcher. You are a brave man for playing such classics. Shame on you for coming so late to the party! It's ok though, I think I've only completed one or two myself, I never got through all of Ocarina or Majora.
Oh yeah, and by the way..
Reach down "… between my legs ... and grab the silver boomerang "…
Ahem.. yeah, it's sig time baby. I hope you don't start wearing an elf costume around the house, remember to take a break and smell reality every now and then. Or you'll turn into this guy.
*edited out pic due to flood of hate mail*
XBL/PSN/STEAM iPhone (Game Center): swatr2
Waitasec... shouldn't that say wooden boomerang?
Anyway, nice article Fletcher, as usual. You go kick back with a bottle of wine to celebrate. I'm going to go kill Swat for a second. BRB.
The market has much to answer for as to why gaming is NOT an art. -- illum
Zelda: LttP is as far as I could go back. Still love the graphics, the music and the overall atmosphere. I enjoyed Zelda I&II the time they came out, but I couldn't get back into them when I tried some years ago.
I went out and bought a GBA SP and all of the Gameboy Zelda's just recently so I am also going through teh year of the Zelda myself. Impresses the hell out of my seven year old son but for some reason it hasn't done a whole lot for the wife. Do you get a badge for beating every Zelda? And that theme song has the same effect on me ...
"I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's." Twain
Good article as usual buddy.
Especially sacrificing yourself by playing the Gamecube, ugh!
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So what's your schedule like? Here's what I can come up with
Zelda 1 - check
Zelda 2 - wimped out
Zelda: LTTP - in progress
Zelda: OOT
Zelda: Majoras Mask
Zelda: The Wind Waker
Anything else? No gameboy games so I think that should do it.
I played Zelda OOT on an emulator once and had a blast...what a great game! I'd love to play windwalker sometime...
"You know, hubbinsd, as much as I don't want to go into library science, I still think you're pretty sexy." -Wordsmythe
To be continued?
We want the rest. Now!
Oh and Swat, posting that pic again was very low. I'll get you for that!
"I assure you, I have no -- nor have I had any -- ill will toward anyone in these threads aside from Green, but we all despise that aggrandizing turd." - ColdForged
Zelda II is definitely underated. I'm not sure why its become normal to point it out as a low point in the series, when I remember playing the hell out of it when I was younger and still enjoying it through emulators now.
Its different from the other Zeldas, but different doesn't make it a bad game and certainly not a cheap Castlevania knock off.
Give it another try if you haven't really progressed beyond the first area.
Steam | PSN: Aphesian
I think the reason Zelda II gets such a bum rap is because it wasn't originally a Zelda game. Just a standard action/adventure hybrid type. Nintendo evidently revamped the property to include Zelda elements after an internal review showed that it wasn't really up to snuff (and thus wouldn't sell millions of copies).
I played through the game when it came out, but it's by far my least favorite Zelda (the CDi releases notwithstanding).
Zelda 2 is infuriating with it's non-standard playstyle and graphics. I know my Zelda Collection save for the gamecube has me stopped at the third temple - stopped due to mass frustration. Love Zelda though.
Funny trivia note - Sony pillaged the hell out of Zelda 2 for Everquest 1(why? who knows, Zelda fans I guess). There are tons of names and places stolen, the biggest one being the Lake of Ill Omen and Swamp of No Hope.
Gotham City is in trouble, so I put on a rubber suit and go save innocents from psychotic men in stage makeup. It's more straightforward than you might think. - Sanjuro
What are you my manager now?
Don't be saucy with me, Bernaise. - Count DeMonet
FalseGravity - My first blog.
Fear for your lives! A acoustic version of the Zelda Theme song!
Hey I'm in the same boat. Just got a gamecube. I had an NES way back when but didn't have any of the consoles in between. I'm wimped out tho and started at Wind Waker. So far Wind Waker is truly spectacular.
No four swords for the cube?
I like to make lists, leave me alone.
Just for that, you have to play the CDi releases as well! My God, I had no idea they released an FMV Zelda. *shudder*
I've never heard this about Zelda II. I know the US Mario 2 was originally a different game entirely, but had never heard this about Zelda. Do you have a link?
Steam | PSN: Aphesian
System of a Down made a version of the Zelda theme. That's pretty freakin funny, if you know system of a down that is.
Here!
"I assure you, I have no -- nor have I had any -- ill will toward anyone in these threads aside from Green, but we all despise that aggrandizing turd." - ColdForged
I though this one was just a party game. Does it have a SP component? Hell, even if it doesn't it might be good for some laughs. Sure, why not.
Add that to the list Pyro.
Don't be saucy with me, Bernaise. - Count DeMonet
FalseGravity - My first blog.
Hee hee...I keep my ancient NES around just so I can play Buck Rogers.
I'm pretty sure, statistically, coffee increases violence more than marijuana....I'm going for my second cup and when I get back I'm bringing a shovel.
Okay here's the updated list.
Zelda 1 - check
Zelda 2 - wimped out
Zelda: LTTP - in progress
Zelda: Pay Pyro $50
Zelda: Wand of Gamelon
Zelda: The Faces of Evil
Zelda's Adventure
Zelda: OOT
Zelda: Majoras Mask
Zelda: The Wind Waker
Zelda: Four Swords
Fletcher, 4 Swords is a must if you have a Gameboy advance. Hell, pick up one for yourself and the wife, and let the fun begin. It's one of the best Zelda games I've played, and it's an adventure game, not a party game. (Although there are a couple deathmatch modes).
With all this talk about Zelda I'm wondering if I should go fire up and try and finish Wind Waker.. hmm..
XBL/PSN/STEAM iPhone (Game Center): swatr2
As long as we're tacking extra games on the list, I must insist that the two newest GBC games be added: Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages. These are some spectacular games that came out in a time when I thought the GBC was about to be abandoned.
Yes, yes, I know this requires extra hardware. But it's worth it!
I just found out that I'll probably owe the IRS monmey this year, so that flame-colored GBASP I've been fantasizing about is probably not going to come in time for this assignment. But who knows?
Pyro, I've never even heard of some of those games.
Don't be saucy with me, Bernaise. - Count DeMonet
FalseGravity - My first blog.
I added the CDi games for Sass!
Okay here's the real list
Zelda 1 - check
Zelda 2 - wimped out
Zelda: LTTP - in progress
Zelda: OOT
Zelda: Majoras Mask
Zelda: The Wind Waker
Zelda: Four Swords
Though you still have to pay me $50.
Heck yeah! tch tch.
"I assure you, I have no -- nor have I had any -- ill will toward anyone in these threads aside from Green, but we all despise that aggrandizing turd." - ColdForged
Hey, don't forget Zelda: Link's Awakening on the GameBoy.
I think we all need to stop avoiding the real question here:
WWMCD?
Mr.Green you should have been at the last Halo night, there was a lot of the finger gun sound going around. Tch Tch! Hey guy!
XBL/PSN/STEAM iPhone (Game Center): swatr2
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