Your faithful Certis is ill and tired; I am only the latter. In his hour of need, Certis called upon Lobo and said unto him, "Get in that room and don't come out until The Week Ahead is all done and stuff." I told Certis he could depend on me like a crutch. What he doesn't know is that this crutch has a few loose screws right now, to say the least, and when he rests his full weight on me I shall cast his unsuspecting body to the ground. He will collapse, and then he will gather himself up, brush himself off, and become wrathful. But I'm just a couple of wooden struts and a few loose screws, oooh, whatcha gonna do? If you break me over your knee my sharp splinters will embed themselves permanently in your ailing thigh-flesh, and you will never be well again.
The Game of the Week is now Batman Begins, various incarnations of which will be debuting this Tuesday on Xbox, PS2, Gamecube, and GBA for $39.99.
If you're into that whole DVD fad, you might want to look for Jaws: 30th Anniversary Edition, Au Hasard Balthazar, WWE Greatest Wrestling Stars of the 80's, or any of these other fine products.
Ranger: Mogadishu (06/14)