A Call for Writers

For a multitude of reasons the front page has been a little light on
the content lately. WeÂ're hoping that will settle out come January but
IÂ'd rather bring one or two new people on board and get moving sooner
than later. Typically when we want new writers I put on a cape and
stalk the prospective new employees until they fold under the pressure
of my intense, creepy gaze. This time is going to be different however,
this time I want anyone interested in seeing their name on the front
page to submit an article to me. The requirements are pretty simple:

1) You have to be able to write once a week
2) You canÂ't cry if we donÂ't pick you
3) It can be anything from editorials to reviews

ThatÂ's about all there is to it. You read the site, you know what we do here so feel free to send in your articles and IÂ'll get started on crushing your hopes and dreams. I mean, considering your works.

*Update* I'm going to be going
over submissions over the weekend and early next week with Elysium. If
you want to be considered make sure you have something in my mailbox by
Sunday at the latest!

Comments

I wish I had time to do something like this, as it would be a fun and refreshing way to pick on people, but alas, no time.

Well.. that or I'm extremely lazy.

I shall just sit here and yell at the screen and shake my fist at whomever you choose.

I think all my articles would be turned down do to them being too happy... <--- and too many of these.

Sounds great Certis, I'd love a chance to write but I was unsure of how it worked at GWJ. I can't promise I'll use the big words like Elysium or have the wit of IDg4f, but I'll try

I can't promise I'll use the big words like Elysium or have the wit of IDg4f, but I'll try

Hey I don't have either and I write here all the time! I think the only real requirement is that you suck up to Certis alot on ICQ.

Painthappens.. yeah I need to cut back on my smiley habit too. But then I think I sound terribly serious. Or cranky.

Ooh, pick me!

Though I do have a problem with crying for no good reason.

Like this morning, I saw this puppy, and...

Excuse me...

Yay, I am up for some hope crushing! Who needs hope anyway?

Now I just have to find my inner article...

I would be interested in occasional reviews (or rants) or other types of things.

Of course, if you don't pick me, I understand it's because you guys are afraid of my popularity skyrocketing past yours more then it already has..

With my lack of time and attention I would be more interested in being a random contributer. Sort of what Reaper did. When I do have the time to do something I could submit it and then have my dreams crushed on my schedule. Its like TiVo but with more mental anguish! Look for a review of the Wireless headset for xbox, Evil Genius, and the iRoomba discovery from me soon.

How about "Videogame Porn Review" ? I'd write that.

Swat wrote:

Painthappens.. yeah I need to cut back on my smiley habit too. But then I think I sound terribly serious. Or cranky.

I think I'd die if I cut back TOO much though... I now try to limit it to one per post

Wait a minute, you mean the stuff I was writing on here all along wasn't being collected for publication on the front page?

Man, that hurts. To think of all the time I put into "WoW v. Everquest: Which 1 rox0rs moor?" for no reason.

I might send something in. I would definitely do it, but the whole 'one a week or die by my sword!' thing is a little imtimidating.

Oh, what the hell, I'll draw something up tonight. Since when was I concious of my own failures at self-motivation?

Once I get done with this HELLAVA release come December 31st, I was thinking of getting back into writing.

I wrote that Rome: Total War short story for this forum a couple months ago and I've written and had ideas of other ones. Maybe if the powers that be would like an ongoing, weekly adventure, I would more than gladly like to try it

PAR

Dr.Ghastly wrote:

Of course, if you don't pick me, I understand it's because you guys are afraid of my popularity skyrocketing past yours more then it already has..

Or perhaps they fear your misuse of "then" over "than".

EDIT: I swear I intended to smiley that. Like paint!

With my lack of time and attention I would be more interested in being a random contributer. Sort of what Reaper did. When I do have the time to do something I could submit it and then have my dreams crushed on my schedule. Its like TiVo but with more mental anguish! Look for a review of the Wireless headset for xbox, Evil Genius, and the iRoomba discovery from me soon.

You can always randomly submit stuff, but there's no guarantee it'll get posted. However, if you've got a good article written up about a game, Certis or somebody on the staff will probably look it over.

Who had that funny sig about someone asking to be a writing contributor and how they use spellchecker but had all those awful spelling errors? I think it was Sway.

Anyways,

ColdForged wrote:
Dr.Ghastly wrote:

Of course, if you don't pick me, I understand it's because you guys are afraid of my popularity skyrocketing past yours more then it already has..

Or perhaps they fear your misuse of "then" over "than".

EDIT: I swear I intended to smiley that. Like paint! :D

You have no idea how stressed out I am here at work right now. I'm surprised I didn't mistype "Certis" as "My hoe"

I am SO not even going to bother.

I'm not nearly well-written enough to fit in with the rest of the people that already write for the site.

Speaking for Certis - and to a lesser degree myself - I can say consistency is a key element to what we're looking for. If you would like an example of consistency look at my output lately, and do the opposite. While we always take in the random article here or there, I wouldn't necessarily sign up for this unless you really are comitted to sticking with it.

No crying?

Damnit, I'm out.

I can post a weekly list of the motherf***ers that have pissed me off and will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes. I'll call it "Fear and Loathing in Cyberspace". Sound good?

Oh yeah? You just made the list.

Who had that funny sig about someone asking to be a writing contributor and how they use spellchecker but had all those awful spelling errors? I think it was Sway.

It's Gaald's sig but the line itself was said by Sway.

"Can I have a job? I donut have much experiences, butt I always use an spellchecker spellchecker on my articles."

I would love to write but what exactly I would write about is completely unknown.

SwampYankee wrote:

I can post a weekly list of the motherf***ers that have pissed me off and will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes. I'll call it "Fear and Loathing in Cyberspace". Sound good?

Oh yeah? You just made the list.

I'd read that article every time.

I say hire Swampy.

I'd be happy to submit content and generate some traffic. I'll whip up some reviews shortly.

The requirements are pretty simple:
[...]
2) You can't cry if we don't pick you

Logical flaw. If you don't pick someone, then there'd be no reason for them to need to meet the requirements any longer. As such, they wouldn't be bound by this.

I say you need to outsource these writing duties to India.

Gorilla.800.lbs wrote:

I say you need to outsource these writing duties to India.

Yeah but then anytime you have information it'll come back as informations... they just can't seem to get the concept of a no "s" Plural word

painthappens wrote:

Yeah but then anytime you have information it'll come back as informations... they just can't seem to get the concept of a no "s" Plural word :D

Chinese do that too.

Count me in. I'll submit something by Sunday.