Tribes was my first real internet game, it nearly consumed my life during my first semester at college. Adjusting to life at college was hard, nobody told you when to get up, when to go to bed, or even when to attend class. My main motivation for getting up was to get out of the dilapidated dorm I'd found myself in, when my neighbor cranked his Limp Bizkit techno remix at 3 in the morning I think the mold on the walls actually pulsated with the beat. The worst was the internet access, I'd went from barely being able to use dial-up to inhuman internet speed. I could browse anything, anywhere, instantly! Of course after about a month the novelty wore off and I cursed the network admin's black heart for not upping my bandwidth. But for a brief few weeks I was enamored with the internet, and my first real love was Starsiege: Tribes.
So needless to say I'm pretty excited about Tribes: Vengeance. The demo plays well, the reviews are looking solid and there's even supposed to be a story! The novelty of it all, to have a story in a Tribes game. I know, I know, there's some sort of story behind that Ã‚"StarsiegeÃ‚" in front of Tribes, but my only knowledge of the universe comes from Tribes. Like all great sci-fi stories, I'm sure the story of Starsiege is full heroism, emotional turmoil and clever plot twists, but I'm just not seeing it. From my experiences in Tribes and Tribes 2, I just can't see a fictional universe full of drama and intrigue. The Starsiege universe I know and love from playing Tribes is quite different than that. Quite different indeed ...
The snow drifted lazily at my feet. Generators hummed deep in the earth. Motors whirred, turning silent inanimate sensors. Except for the wind, I couldn't notice a sound. Everything was just too damn quiet. I leaned back in my heavy armor and my servos whirred in agreement. My name is Cpt. [DLN]JazzyDennis, Jazzy to my friends. Actually pretty much everyone calls me Jazzy, even the newbloods. That jackass that calls himself Ã‚"ur momÃ‚", he really likes to call me Jazzy. He always laughs after he does it, I'd like to put a spinfusor up his ...
Ã‚"Hi, anything happening?Ã‚" said [DLN]HotPants, in her ever too cheerful voice. She strolled over, bouncing around with her jetpack, falling off the ledge twice on the way over. I don't know why she's so cheery, she's not even a woman. It's just some guy who likes to wear the female armor. Though it's not like we ever use it, we see a woman out here about once every never. Which is probably why I forget about the deeply confusing feelings in the back of my head and let sleeping dogs lie. As long as she doesn't take her helmet off, I can keep pretending one more day.
Ã‚"Hello? Are you linkdead in there, I said how's it going?Ã‚" She tapped on my helmet, I hate it when she taps on my helmet.
Ã‚"Nothing, nothing at allÃ‚" I replied, shaking my head.
She gives me a look, I assume, Ã‚"You're not thinking about teamkilling again are you? You know how the Chiefs feel about teamkilling.Ã‚"
Ã‚"But his name is 'ur mom'! I mean seriously, look at the little jackass newblood. Sniper rifle pointed at your ass, just waiting to 'accidentally' fire one off, he makes me sick. These damned newbloods, it's not like the good old days, not anymore.Ã‚"
Ã‚"Yes it is, it's just like the good old days. He was here last week. And you shot him last week, remember?Ã‚" she said as she folded her hands across her chest.
Ã‚"Ah yeah, good times.Ã‚" I tilted my head back and smiled, that was a good day to die. It took half our base's generators and inventory stations, but I got the little bastard. I'd like to think that when he went to the great beyond that day, his ass still hurt on the other side.
Ã‚"Duck!Ã‚" I screamed as I shoved her out of the way. An incoming spinfusor blast missed her head by inches. One of Blood Eagle's deadly warriors soared down on us from above. Could this tribal be here for the precious flag? Or merely to destroy our generators? Maybe this one came to duel with me, the greatest warrior the Diamond Sword tribe has ever known? This could be a worthy battle.
The enemy bore down on our position at breakneck speed, he was targeting us with pinpoint precision . My armor whirred around after him, straining with speed to face my opponent. My spinfusor was loaded, aimed and ready to deal out death. He slammed into the wall with a thud, clearly hurting himself. I was taken aback, he cares not for his own health, instead sacrificing it to get to the enemy just a little faster. Clever man. He charges his spinfusor and lets fly.
He fires at his feet, causing his armor to burst into blue flame and fly apart. Okay, maybe calling him clever was a little premature. Maybe he wasn't exactly targeting us as much as he was careening in our general direction. Maybe he had his blaster out firing wildly on the way down. Damn, I need to get out of the Pubbie frontier.
A clicking of heels behind me got my attention, I haven't heard that sound since boot camp. Ã‚"Sir, what should I do, sir?Ã‚" a fresh newblood recruit barked at me from inside his shiny new light armor. This guy looks prepared, no pack, default weapons, not even a dent in his armor. This should be fun.
Ã‚"Ah yes Private, I'm sure you're aware of the situation.Ã‚" I prompted in my best captain's voice.
Ã‚"Sir, yes, sir! I am to assist you in capturing the standard of the Blood Eagle clan, which is kept at their base across the valley over there. I am awaiting orders, sir!Ã‚"
The standard, this kid is green. Ã‚"Flag, it's a flag newblood. Out here we call it the flag. I'm sure at boot camp suckin on your mama's teet you learned all kinds of fancy words. Well I'm here to tell you, if those words can't be typed with one hand they're useless out here, you understand me?Ã‚"
Ã‚"Sir, yes, sir!Ã‚" the private was shaking so badly, his armor's servos couldn't compensate. He looked like an epileptic terrier would if they let dogs wear armor. Well, if they let small dogs wear armor, I'm well aware of the famous 102nd Flying Labradors.
Ã‚"It just so happens I've got a special assignment just for you, newblood.Ã‚" I smiled inside my helmet, screwing with newbloods was one of the few joys I got out here on the frontier. Ã‚"I want you to infiltrate the enemy base with your stealth pack.Ã‚"
Ã‚"Sir, yes, sir! I read about them at the academy. However I didn't pick one up from the armoryÃ‚"
Ã‚"Yes you did, you're wearing it right nowÃ‚"
The newblood started in Ã‚"But I don't see ...Ã‚"
Ã‚"Of course you don't see,Ã‚" I barked Ã‚"it's invisible!Ã‚"
Ã‚"Sir, yes, sir!Ã‚"
Ã‚"Now you activate your pack by hitting the Ctrl and K buttons at the same time, do you see those buttons soldier? Or are you still trying to find your ass with both hands?Ã‚"
Ã‚"Sir, I see them, sir!Ã‚"
Ã‚"On my mark, launch for the enemy base. When at the peak of your arc, and not a moment before newblood, you activate your stealth pack, is that understood!Ã‚" I was doing a very good impression of someone with authority.
Ã‚"Sir, yes, sir!Ã‚"
HotLips was doubled over behind the newblood with her comm turned off, laughing hysterically. The newblood eagerly rocketed into the air toward oblivion. As he reached the top of his arc, I pulled HotLips to her feet so she wouldn't miss the show.
5...4...3...2...1... The newblood flew apart into 1000 pieces, throwing bits of shiny new armor all about the landscape.
We both laughed for a good while about that one, my helmet fogged up from the tears. Goddamned newbloods.