Gamer With Job
I have nothing to say about video games here.Ã‚Â
Today is a hard day for me.Ã‚Â It is my last day as a stay-at-home dad.Ã‚Â When IÃ‚'ve talked on this topic in the past IÃ‚'ve tried to have something clever to say, or some anecdote to make, or at least tied my thoughts awkwardly into the illusion of a general point.Ã‚Â IÃ‚'m not so sure IÃ‚'ve got that this time.Ã‚Â In the end being a stay-at-home dad is not at all what I thought it would be, though it was both better and worse, and a year later maybe my experience has some value.
Tomorrow I return to the world of the gainfully employed; the specifics of my employment being the topic for another time.Ã‚Â My wife, who has been the right-hand (wo)man at a design and print shop for five years now, will be embarking on an adventure all her own, returning home to take care of our son and working freelance graphic design.Ã‚Â IÃ‚'ve said in the past that freelance is just another word for unemployed except in the most rare of circumstances.Ã‚Â This is such a circumstance.
The why of the whole thing is a tricky beast.Ã‚Â There is no simple answer as to why weÃ‚'d risk throwing our personal worlds into upheaval and shake the firm foundation weÃ‚'ve built, though I think we both knew on the day my wife returned to work from her maternity leave that a change was inevitable.Ã‚Â Some people have the facilities to Ã‚"just get overÃ‚" leaving their newborn for the workplace.Ã‚Â Some people are in a position where they have no choice but to Ã‚"just get overÃ‚" it.Ã‚Â In the end, my wife fit neither category.Ã‚Â So thatÃ‚'s part of the answer right there; when someone you care for wants something that bad you just make it happen.Ã‚Â
But being a stay-at-home dad is no simple thing itself.Ã‚Â I know many fathers are envious of the opportunity, and I donÃ‚'t want to diminish the rewards in the least, but it is at times a very isolating experience.Ã‚Â Ã‚Â The resources aren'tÃ‚Â in place to support and encourage the stay-at-home dad.Ã‚Â The parks and playgrounds are filled with stay-at-home moms that would certainly give vocal approval to the idea, but naturally keep their distance.Ã‚Â I had no friends who were stay-at-home dads to fall back on, or with whom to get the kids together.Ã‚Â Make no mistake, I loved spending time with my son, but for months now itÃ‚'s just been him and me.Ã‚Â Truth is, thatÃ‚'s not doing either of us any good.
IÃ‚'m proud of the work IÃ‚'ve done in helping craft a little boy who smiles all the time, who is interested in the world, and who explores with an enthusiasm I envy on every level.Ã‚Â IÃ‚'m not necessarily taking credit for that, as itÃ‚'s probably a function of being an eleven-month old, but I will pat myself on the back for not getting in the way of his natural development.Ã‚Â But, IÃ‚'m glad to see my wife take the helm, glad that weÃ‚'ve never had need to put him in daycare, glad that she will have the resources to expose him to kids his own age, glad that weÃ‚'ll both have a social circle, glad that things are working out the way they probably should have to begin with.Ã‚Â My wife deserves this chance.Ã‚Â SheÃ‚Â put me through school and gave me this past year, so IÃ‚'m grateful to be able to repay her with time.
So I return to work tomorrow.Ã‚Â What will that mean for GWJ?Ã‚Â Almost nothing.Ã‚Â IÃ‚'ll still be exorcising random thoughts onto the web, still be playing games when I find the time, and still be using a cascade of polysyllabic words where simplicity would suffice.Ã‚Â But, for now, IÃ‚'m going to stop here and spend what remains of the day with my son.