I've Got an Audible For You!

As is my custom lately I'm going out of town on Friday. This time, rather than relying upon hotel Internet, which I know doesn't even exist in this universe, I'm just going ahead and posting it tonight. I've been spending a lot of my free time losing on ESPN's NFL 2K5 HTML WYSIWYG FYI etc. In fact, my profile is free for the downloading now if you need a good laugh. You will encounter some of my patented moves such as: send every player in motion except for the one you intend to give the ball to; never ever ever run the QB forward; and the quick-release long bomb to the most uninhabited area of the field. (Elysium, if that was an improper use of the : and ;, please feel free to edit.) If you're still nervous about playing against me, I've included a quick glimpse of the most frequently used pages of my playbook. Have a look, but, remember, I can always FLIP them and totally throw you a curveball (mixed sports metaphor).

IL Comic


I'm going to have to remember that 50 X Wrong Man!

Hilarious and describes my playing style exactly. Great job Sway!

All I see on LIVE are you people playing this damn game. I can't wait for it to be released in the UK; I want to be as crap as Sway too.

Oh my god I laughed so hard when I saw those plays. I better start using new plays, here I thought I was the only using those! No wonder Certis kicks my ass everytime I play him at his place.

Although you did forget the ever popular 4th and 10, on your 15 yard line, of course I am going to go for it!

I can sort of see where Sway was going with this, but American Football is still a pretty deep mystery to me, hence the humour is out of my reach :(.

For me American Football will always be "that sport where all of the guys run into each other all of the time".

For me American Football will always be "that sport where all of the guys run into each other all of the time".

It is for me too, but I still found it funny. I love the last one.

Yeah - even knowing zilch about football, it's STILL funny!

Strong QB Flee must be related to my "which *&))(*(*) button makes this QB tuck the ball and scramble" play followed closely by the hahaha I tricked you take a knee by accident play. But most important WR Streak and then step out of bounds instead of going all the way to the end zone play - thats my fave... Usually happens so I am at the 4-5 yard line. I couldnt put a ball into the end zone with a bulldozer from there.

Don't forget the "I'm a sissy.. Please Don't hurt me so I'll pass you the ball everytime so you can score" QB move

I get that a lot when I play with my friend on 2002 Blitz or something like that (I refer to it as the "Mike Kicks my ass at this Game")

Beautiful. You left off my personal favorite, the "Weak Toss to Back Who Will Get Levelled Within A Picosecond." Though the quarterback scramble is priceless. Hell, who am I kidding, the whole thing is perfect.

That rock's sway. You are


Past several weeks.

This one should be on a mug......

I couldnt put a ball into the end zone with a bulldozer from there.

And the nice thing about that is with the VIP system you can now prove it to people.

Oh wow, I want this on a shirt. This is absolute gold. Although, i'd like to add to the list my personal favorite "Three Step Drop And Toss To Man Covered By 4 People, Watch In Dismay As Ball Is Intercepted And Returned For TD"

With all the Doom 3 love has the Commish put out a team selection thread yet?

Sway, that was on the button- I was going to write an editorial about the same thing on some *koff* other site... but this did the job better than I could ever have.


nah, I'll probably write it anyhow.

Excellent Stuff, Sway. You really captured the essence of my play style.

Although you forgot my patented play, which I cal "Not in the face!", in which my QB just keeps dropping back, looking in vain for an open receiver, until he gets pig-piled by the D-Line for a 20 yard loss.