Damn Bots

I love playing games online. In fact, since getting the Xbox, I rarely play any single player games anymore. I enjoy the social aspect and it's more reassuring to me to compete against human beings with all their inherent flaws. I know that when I beat a computer at something it's only because the computer was basically programmed to let me win. So the problem that comes into play is when I find myself facing human opponents that are more difficult to beat than the computer opponents. I saw this most recently with my current obsession, UT2K4, when I decided to brush up on my aiming skills and hopped into an Instagib server. For those of you unfamiliar with the gametype, it is a standard deathmatch except that everyone is armed with lasers similar to the beam mode of the shock rifle, and this weapon is a guaranteed one-hit one-kill. This keeps the playing field pretty level and emphasizes aim and dodge skills. The first one with 50 kills wins. I never won. I never even came within 30 kills of winning. I had typically racked up 12 or 13 kills by the time the first player reached 50. I played several rounds because I assumed I would get better with practice. In fact, I simply got madder with each round. It was beyond comprehension that someone could be that much better at me at, for the most part, pointing and clicking their mouse. I hate playing games online.IL Comic

Comments

OH MY GOD! What is R2 doing to that poor computer!

OH MY GOD! What is R2 doing to that poor computer!

Judging by the exclamation points, he appears to be enjoying whatever it is...

Great strip!

The scariest parts are the "wiggle marks" around R2, implying some creakin' and grindin'. He's gettin' his lube on.

NOOOO!!!! Not an R2D2 penis too!!!!

Now I feel as violated as when I saw the C-3PO card that had the "golden rod."

You are all horrible people. I never thought that was a penis Sway! You didn't do anything wrong!

Hilarious! One of my new favorites!

Sanjuro wrote:

You are all horrible people. I never thought that was a penis Sway! You didn't do anything wrong!

Thank you, Sanjuro. But if you didn't, it's only thanks to about 20 re-draws of said appendage. Of course, once I had redrawn it enough so it didn't immediately look robosexual I had to go back and draw in the hump-wobbles that ColdForged mentioned. So I can't claim complete innocence in this matter.

Oh, and would you mind editing your quote and putting a comma before "Sway"?

Bah! thats what I felt like playing you guys on UT at the weekend, in particular Zedian!

Lol, good comic. I get owned in UT2k regularly. I attribute it to playing on a laptop with a 32MB video card. That's it, uh huh. I'll completely rule on my new system. Uh, huh.

Oh, and would you mind editing your quote and putting a comma before "Sway"?

Hmmm, I would have asked him to put a hyphen between the two, not a comma. As in, look out for that penis-Sway!

Elysium wrote:
Oh, and would you mind editing your quote and putting a comma before "Sway"?

Hmmm, I would have asked him to put a hyphen between the two, not a comma. As in, look out for that penis-Sway!

True, that's how I say his name in my head, there's always an implied "penis". Just like "Vulvalysium". I'm helpless to stop it, really.

ColdForged wrote:

True, that's how I say his name in my head, there's always an implied "penis". Just like "Vulvalysium". I'm helpless to stop it, really.

Let's not forget Squirtis.

That droid is hung like a griffon.

Personally, I prefer C3PO's codpiece.

Personally, I prefer C3PO's codpiece.

You prefer girth huh? Understandable.

I happen to think that it's not the size that matters, it's the processor cycles.

i cant stop laughing!
hilarious cartoon and anyone with penis-sway should see a doctor!

ow, my ribs hurt.

worst.thread.evar.

it's like 3rd grade in here.

CodexMatt wrote:

worst.thread.evar.
it's like 3rd grade in here. ;-)

I'm ashamed of myself for instigating such behavior. I hang my head in shame. I assure you the intent of the drawing was to illustrate that Artoo is a 1337 Hax0r.

Aimbot kiddies are currently easily spottable because having one in a game is akin to that scene in Terminator 1 in the future where he enters a human shelter and kills everyone.

99.9% of the time you die without seeing who shot you because they shoot all players from any point of the level, continuously, no matter how far they are.

I'm sorry but people who killed you did not use aimbots.

And, when playing with other people online you're dealing with far more than reflexes.
Many of these people have an understanding which transcends and encompasses typical "noob behavior".
They can predict what you will do before you know it yourself.
They can goad you into moving where they want you.
Hence you get killed.

Then you get mad, your andrenaline shoots up, and BAM, you lose your fine motor skills.
Everyone starts running circles around you and you feel like a developmentally challenged, is that the current term, person.

If you can play a Deathmatch game for ONE HOUR without getting pissed or hyperventilating, I guarantee you will notice an improvement by the end.

shihonage wrote:

I'm sorry but people who killed you did not use aimbots.

I think one of the points of the comic is that R2 does not need to use aimbots.

Zedian wrote:
shihonage wrote:

I'm sorry but people who killed you did not use aimbots.

I think one of the points of the comic is that R2 does not need to use aimbots.

Oh. I thought it meant that people have aimbots plugged in... but now I understand . Yeah its funnier this way.

It kinda kills the joke when you have to explain it.

What joke?

LOL thats the best especially coupled with the messages below this is great...one of the reasons I keep reading this comic is the feedback lol...

This is my favourite thread. Anything with the words "Penis-sway" (shouldn't it just be "Penisway?), "Vulvalysium", and "Squirtis" should be nominated for thread of the year. Hey, there's an idea. How about an awards ceremony? Or a post of the week/month thingy?

Vector wrote:

This is my favourite thread. Anything with the words "Penis-sway" (shouldn't it just be "Penisway?), "Vulvalysium", and "Squirtis" should be nominated for thread of the year. Hey, there's an idea. How about an awards ceremony? Or a post of the week/month thingy?

Thats not a bad idea we can call them pink slips or the jobbies and we there is a nomination button in the forum that we can submit for yearly review and vote at the end of the year or at least at the yearly aniversary of gwj...I like it!

The Jobbies?

Uh. That sounds, uhm... a little controversial.

I'd love a Jobbie right about now. Is Sodoman[FO] available?

KrazyTaco doesn't seem to be here, no.

Theres a nasty aimbot for Wolf:ET floating around that AFAIK has not been able to be detected by Punkbuster yet..

Its tracks based on color and the GUI to activate it pops up when you turn it on then disapears...

Scum that use this are the lowest form of life....