Old School Games Put to the Test


Over at EGM they decided to put thier nostalgia for the Golden Age of gaming to the test and put 9 kids ages 10-13 up against the best of the old school games. The results are pretty entertaining. Here's an excerpt.

Playing Donkey Kong
Andrew: Someone take over before I lose my dignity. [Mario picks up the hammer power-up]
Andrew and Niko: Hey, that's from Super Smash Bros.
Andrew: So that's where they got the idea from.
EGM: Who's that chick Mario is rescuing up there?
Brian: It's Princess Peach.
Kirk: It's a hooker.
Niko: She looks cut in half.
Tim: Oh wowÂ"”she's one of those pole dancers.

Needless to say the results were less than encouraging. Many times the kids were heard to say things like "Oh, 300 points. That's it? All you get is points? That's lame. Can't you do something with the umbrella?". When talking about Space Invaders they said, "Where's my rapid fire?" and "This game needs a super bomb or something."

I'd just like to thank EGM for going out of thier way to make me feel very, very old. If you'll excuse me, I need to get some youngins off my porch.


I read that...made me want to punch most of those kids..

I'm going to make a great parent.

"Sheldon: No! No! Not E.T.! Kill! Kill! Kill E.T.! Glock E.T.!
John: This game is so confusing.
Kirk: No wonder it's the worst ever.
Brian: A flower grew!
Kirk: Piss on it."

Glock ET? Jeez, too much CS I think, plus, surely you'd be deagling?

It's nice to know I could crush those little bastards in classic games even if I'm no match for them in CS or UT2003.

Okay, I can see how a game like Pong might have lost its original appeal over time, but - geez - Tetris?

I agree, most 10-13 year olds I meet I want to punch.  I'm being serious.

Oh and another thing...that small "focus" group should just go to show what Nintendo is up against.. a much more "sophisticated" younger audience that neither cares for or really looks at Nintendo they way many older 25+ gamers do.

I would love to get some demographics on who actually purchased the Zelda and Mario games for the cube.

EGM: Yeah, we use them to end our articles. They do kinda look like they're from Space Invaders, don't they?

Tim: They're going to sue you.

Kirk: I'm sure everyone who made this game is dead by now.


Seriously, I'm not surprised. These games were cool because they were the only thing available back then. How can they compete with GTA? Imagine someone dropped a PS2 in front of you back in 88. JEEZ!

On the other hand, my 9 year old brother sat down with me and we played Super Mario Bros 3. He enjoyed it a lot. Because it's STILL a great game. And for a few weeks, my ol' 8-bit nes got more attention than the PS2.

I grew up with the NES so...I think that is what they should have used on these kids.


Yeah they went too far back for the most part. however my gut feeling is these comments were "enhanced".

"I'm sure everyone who made this game is dead by now."

LMAO .. wow