Hi there! :) :p lolol! Cool site! Did you know that guy in the bannerÃ‚'s name is Stan!?!?! LOL, thatÃ‚'s so funny, cuz its soooo boring, like, a DADÃ‚'s name or somethingÃ‚"… Cool!!!
Just kidding. And, ow. I think I strained something.
Hello. This is Hoochie speaking. Certis left the keys to the website lying around while in the shower, and I figured that Elysia could use some help injecting some estrogen into this place. Look, you can see the boobies sprouting as we speak, turning your grey, overworked male superstructure vaguely hermaphroditic. DonÃ‚'t get too used to my sweetly scented presence Ã‚– unlike some people I have a job that requires me to bathe, dress, and actually leave the apartment Ã‚– but on occasion you may see more vaguely editorial "She Said"s popping up.
And on to the show. Love in the Time of Everquest
If it were not for Everquest, I donÃ‚'t think that I would be marrying Certis. ItÃ‚'s true. Our geek loveÃ‚™ is a product of Sony, or more accurately, Verant Interactive.
It all began in the September of 1999, when Gaald, Certis, his older brother, my old roommate and myself moved into a house together in the downtown of Winnipeg, Manitoba. Linked by our common goals of cheap rent and enough people to seriously cast doubt on the issues of Who Drank the Last of the Milk and WhoÃ‚'s Turn is it to Wash the Dishes, we soon settled together peaceably enough. Until Certis got into the Beta test of Everquest.
Like airborne Ebola, one by one the game struck us down. The day was split into shifts, during which one of the gradually more pale and flabby inhabitants of 364 Balmoral St. steered their badly rendered avatars around the walls of Qeynos and killed rats. Ã‚"No way is it your turn yet! IÃ‚'ve only had four hours!Ã‚"
Then Gaald got into the next Beta round, and things changed. With two computers running EQ, we could play together in pairs. Locked in a small, dingy computer room, our backs scant inches from one another, united in epic quests such as Deliver this Letter and Bring Me Some Rat Teeth, how could romance but blossom?
Thankfully, Gaald and CertisÃ‚' brother realized that it was just game-induced infatuation, and things got back to normal quickly. For Certis and I, however, it was just a stepping stone to long, late-night conversations. And we all know what that means. (cue porn beat)
If not for Everquest, I would never had a reason to spend so much time in such close proximity to Certis. I would never had a reason to try out other games. I would never have been the kind of person who could understand why it is that Certis owns three consoles, or spends night after night in front of his computer, chortling over the headset to people I have to take his word for actually exist. But I do. I do understand. And he has Everquest to thank that I donÃ‚'t start flinging his PS2 games out the window one by one til he looks at me, and I donÃ‚'t mean that sideways crane-the-neck-so-you-can-still-see-if-your-villagers-are-at-the-gold-mine-yet look, I mean look at me! Take your hands of the keyboards when you talk to me, dammit! I repress those urges because I empathize. Also because I can just fire up Jedi Knight or Buffy and soon forget heÃ‚'s even there. And playing co-op games is about the best fun there is for us. (insert provisos regarding Ã‚"sheetsÃ‚" and Ã‚"being verticalÃ‚") If only Dungeon siege had half as much depth as it promised. But I digress.
My point is, once Everquest became a part of my daily routine, the damage was done. Previously a light user of SNES and possibly the occasional game of PC Solitaire, Everquest was a dive straight into the underbelly of gamerhood. I was playing Half-Life, Drakan, Heroes of Might and Magic, Dungeon Keeper, and The Sims before the year was out. Everquest made me a gamer. Certis is about to marry a girl gamer.
And you say that it never did nothing for nobody.