DOAX is Not Porn
ItÃ‚'s not porn but it sure felt like it when I went into EB to pick it up. I entered the store and made my usual sweep of what was on the shelves until the DOAX box stopped me in my tracks. Among the sea of futuristic covers featuring tanks, guns and sports equipment was this case displaying three busty DOA chicks in two-piece bikinis.
I found that among all of the other customers, it took me a surprising amount of time to pick up the game and inspect the back. I hardly even read what was there, I was too busy nervously glancing left and right to make sure no one was staring at me. Maybe they should curtain off an area of the store so I can read the case in peace. After a few seconds of awkwardness, I placed the game back on the shelf and continued browsing around the store. Gaald, who had joined me on this little excursion finally asked Ã‚"Are you going to buy the game or what?Ã‚"
I thought about it for a second and said Ã‚"I think IÃ‚'m trying to work up the nerveÃ‚" which kind of surprised me since IÃ‚'m usually very uncaring about what the people around me think. I took a deep breath and approached the counter where the EB drone was waiting for me with a little smirk on his face as if he knew exactly what I was there for. Ã‚"One copy of Dead or Alive Volleyball pleaseÃ‚" I said a little too loudly as if to over-compensate for my inexplicable sense of embarrassment. His response didnÃ‚'t help matters.
Ã‚"Are you over eighteen?Ã‚"
He held the case out and tapped his finger on the bottom where a little disclaimer said Ã‚"Mature subject themes, gambling, nudityÃ‚" and stared at me.
Ã‚"Yes IÃ‚'m over eighteen, you canÃ‚'t sell the game to any kids?Ã‚"
If he tried to card me instead of answering the question I would have reached across the counter and clocked him. Ã‚"Yeah, we canÃ‚'t sell to anyone younger than that, itÃ‚'s the same for all of the storesÃ‚"
With that, he rang up the game and I left a little poorer and feeling like IÃ‚'d just done something horribly, horribly wrong. Well, at least now you can look forward to some kind of review on Monday. IÃ‚'m going to go spend some more quality time with my hard-won ladies.