DOAX is Not Porn


ItÂ's not porn but it sure felt like it when I went into EB to pick it up. I entered the store and made my usual sweep of what was on the shelves until the DOAX box stopped me in my tracks. Among the sea of futuristic covers featuring tanks, guns and sports equipment was this case displaying three busty DOA chicks in two-piece bikinis.

I found that among all of the other customers, it took me a surprising amount of time to pick up the game and inspect the back. I hardly even read what was there, I was too busy nervously glancing left and right to make sure no one was staring at me. Maybe they should curtain off an area of the store so I can read the case in peace. After a few seconds of awkwardness, I placed the game back on the shelf and continued browsing around the store. Gaald, who had joined me on this little excursion finally asked Â"Are you going to buy the game or what?Â"

I thought about it for a second and said Â"I think IÂ'm trying to work up the nerveÂ" which kind of surprised me since IÂ'm usually very uncaring about what the people around me think. I took a deep breath and approached the counter where the EB drone was waiting for me with a little smirk on his face as if he knew exactly what I was there for. Â"One copy of Dead or Alive Volleyball pleaseÂ" I said a little too loudly as if to over-compensate for my inexplicable sense of embarrassment. His response didnÂ't help matters.

Â"Are you over eighteen?Â"


He held the case out and tapped his finger on the bottom where a little disclaimer said Â"Mature subject themes, gambling, nudityÂ" and stared at me.

Â"Yes IÂ'm over eighteen, you canÂ't sell the game to any kids?Â"

If he tried to card me instead of answering the question I would have reached across the counter and clocked him. Â"Yeah, we canÂ't sell to anyone younger than that, itÂ's the same for all of the storesÂ"

With that, he rang up the game and I left a little poorer and feeling like IÂ'd just done something horribly, horribly wrong. Well, at least now you can look forward to some kind of review on Monday. IÂ'm going to go spend some more quality time with my hard-won ladies.


- Certis


It may or may not be porn, but it certainly is like buying porn.

You should have responded, "Uh, no, I'm not 18...nevermind...I guess I'll just get a copy of GTA3 instead."

OT, but



See thats what you get for not ordering online >_<

Oh you english canucks are so prude! I even talked about it out loud with the EB clerk and another customer for a good 10 minutes.

Despite what naysayers are saying the game is a lot of fun.

Well, well.  Looks like the whole goddamn gang is here.  Cool.  Hey guys.

I'll agree that the game was fun for the little amount of time I played it, but it has no staying power. I could easily see getting bored of it within a few hours.

The volleyball games, when you can actually get a partner to play with you, are fun and thankfully not too hard to get a handle on.  Everything else about the game is boring! Snooze fest!

However, if you are addicted to gambling and soft core porn, run out and by one ASAP you will cherish this game forever!

Id have to disagree, Im really starting to get hooked on it. It doesn't have staying power if you don't like collecting things. If you do like collecting things, its worse than SSB:M. By worse I mean theres more stuff to collect. Im having alot of fun, but sitll getting my ass kicked at volleybal

Yeah, hey folks. I just stumbled in here from a link Visceral Monkey dropped on the Shack. It's like the whole ex-EA crew in one basket!

Exactly.  That's how I got here as well.

Damn, I got carded buying this as well! I was actually surprised - when I was buying it, the EB counter dude was double-checking with some parent who was trying to buy GTA: VC for her 8-9 year old son. "Are you sure you want to buy this for him? It's got swearing, prositutes, drugs..."

The game's pretty good - you really need a Controller S because of all the hammering you'll do on the buttons. I didn't think analog button control would work as well as it does, but it's quite good.
I wish you could see the whole court during the game though - I keep getting caught out by my character suddenly appearing to spike a return from the other side.