New Console Announced, Fails to be Taken Seriously

Infinium Labs Corporation announced today that they will fail horribly like every other console that wasn't released by a company with more money than god. Oh wait, sorry, that's not what they said. They said it would out-perform the PS2, Gamecube and Xbox and that it would be released next November. Go ahead, click on "Read more" for all the hilarious details.

The product (called 'Phantom', at the moment) will be geared towards hardcore gamers and PC users, and will be the first always-on broadband console. This next generation game console provides a robust, fault tolerant delivery system that supports games on demand, game rentals, game demos, seamless upgrades and patch management. The official spiel claims.

HereÂ's some more lofty aspirations of the Phantom:

  • Fastest console on the market
  • Broadest selection of preloaded games
  • Cross Platform capabilities
  • State of the art design and architecture
  • Advanced accessories and wireless capabilities
  • Online connectivity for multi player gaming
  • Seamless upgrades and patch management
  • A multi tiered subscription service that meets the needs of casual, moderate and hard-core game players
  • Demo games before purchasing or subscribing
  • Games on demand
  • Game Rentals

    Rumour has it, that the broadband potential of this console will allow gamers to instantly purchase and acquire new games through the system, whilst an intuitive design will mean that the console is easy for kids to use, as well as gaming veterans.

    Online gaming will also be key, along with subscription-based games, and Infinium claim that youÂ'll be able to compete in tournaments against players from all over the globe.

    Infinium continue introducing the Â"˜PhantomÂ', claiming that there are currently 32,679 retail game titles available and 418 shareware game titles not including; adult, casino, sequels and new releases of the past 6 months. A lofty claim indeed. Moreover, all these titles will be distributed electronically.

    The Phantom gaming Console is apparently the first to offer a bundled 2.4 GHz wireless controller along with the ability to add-on additional wireless controls, racing steering wheels, joysticks, keyboard and mouse.

    Prototypes of the console will be available in March this year, whilst Infinium Labs plan to officially launch the product in the US come November.

  • Yes, we are indeed witnessing what may be the most important console announcement of all time. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm really, really sleepy and a little hungry. Maybe I should grab some lunch.

    Yanked from Ferrago!

    - Certis

    Comments

    So this is what? A Linux box with MAME and Shockwave pre-installed, and a video card with TV Out? Actually, pair that up with the X-Arcade controller and maybe, just maybe, that's not such a bad idea. Oh, sweet Dig Dug, lavish your monster-inflating love upon me.

    "Broadest selection of preloaded games"

    All it needs is Solitaire to qualify for that one.  Hrm.