So one of my employees almost got locked up.

Ugh. Now the new guy can't seem to read the freaking schedule. Seriously. How fcking tough is it to look at the damned schedule and see when you're working next? Especially since it hasn't changed in two weeks.

I need to put a sign on the air compressor room that says "Ass kicking room" and use it for employee disciplinary sessions.

This thread makes me want to go out and purchase a gas station. My life is way too damned ordinary.

This thread makes me want to recommend Paleo for a reality TV show.

Mixolyde wrote:

This thread makes me want to recommend Paleo for a reality TV show.

I don't think I'd do well on reality television. Don't they usually have legal weaselword language about not being allowed to beat the snailsnot out of other contestants? Well, unless it's like The Ultimate Fighter or something?

Mixolyde wrote:

This thread makes me want to recommend Paleo for a reality TV show.

I would actually get cable if this was a show.

Mixolyde wrote:

This thread makes me want to recommend Paleo for a reality TV show.

I would actually get cable if this was a show.

Oh, I should also mention that my mechanic (who may very well be the best mechanic in Baltimore) is a former marine and complete misanthrope. At first I just thought he was a racist and misogynist, but no, he just pretty much hates everyone equally. It doesn't stop him from being an absolute genius where cars are involved though. He's sort of like the Dr. House of cars.

One of my regular customers looks just like Will Smith, but he's constantly drunk at 10am, so I call him Hancock. At first I was afraid it was racist for me to say that because if a Korean dude says something like that other folks will say "you just think all black people look the same", but the first time I said that everyone in the room busted out laughing because they saw it too. Now every time he comes in everyone calls him Hancock and he gives me the Will Smith "See what you started?" face.

Paleo, have you tried monkey swing or low level singles?
Those were pretty fun to drill back in wrestling, and at least the monkey swing could be useful in a non-wrestling set up.

boogle wrote:

Paleo, have you tried monkey swing or low level singles?
Those were pretty fun to drill back in wrestling, and at least the monkey swing could be useful in a non-wrestling set up.

They can and do work, but the danger in using straight wrestling moves is that they aren't terribly punch proof. Another reason I don't shoot the double nearly as often as I used to is that it almost always seems to land me in the opponent's guard (which isn't punch proof either btw). A properly executed single leg takedown often ends you up in side control or at least the half mount. And considering how many times my training partner has made me tap from the guard, I really like to start from an advantaged position whenever possible.

On people missing work, what if you took mobile numbers and had a system where you'd text them the day before they were due to come in. Or would that make them argue that if you missed the text, it's your fault they didn't show?

Before anyone says 'They should come in themselves', I'm proposing a solution for the reality, not the expectation.

LarryC wrote:

Ah. Well. In that case, kick their gosh darned assess! I applaud your efforts to be the community's pioneer into the good life. It'll be hard, but you'll be rewarded in many ways. Sucks to have to fight, but tanstaafl, I guess. If you ever come to the Islands, I got your back.

The thought of Paleo and LarryC joining forces fills me with foreboding.

Also, tagging the thread. Hope you don't mind.

Mixolyde wrote:

This thread makes me want to recommend Paleo for a reality TV show.

I can see it now.

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/d1gbd.jpg)

Dimmerswitch wrote:
Mixolyde wrote:

This thread makes me want to recommend Paleo for a reality TV show.

I can see it now.

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/d1gbd.jpg)

My wife and I literally laughed out loud at this. She said that Paleo should do this.

Yoreel wrote:

The worst part is that you weren't even supposed to be here today.

Sometimes, in my mid-30s, with a mortgage and a wife and a car payment and a million other responsibilities, I wish I could just settle back and have a job like Clerks again. The 7-11 guys I talk to all the time have the most fun and see the weirdest stuff sometimes.

InspectorFowler wrote:
Yoreel wrote:

The worst part is that you weren't even supposed to be here today.

Sometimes, in my mid-30s, with a mortgage and a wife and a car payment and a million other responsibilities, I wish I could just settle back and have a job like Clerks again. The 7-11 guys I talk to all the time have the most fun and see the weirdest stuff sometimes.

I had that feeling briefly, until I stop by the Sunoco on the way home at 1:30 in the morning and have a chat with the dude who looks like he's either going to kill himself or someone else, and I remember having that exact same thought while working retail.

Prederick wrote:
InspectorFowler wrote:
Yoreel wrote:

The worst part is that you weren't even supposed to be here today.

Sometimes, in my mid-30s, with a mortgage and a wife and a car payment and a million other responsibilities, I wish I could just settle back and have a job like Clerks again. The 7-11 guys I talk to all the time have the most fun and see the weirdest stuff sometimes.

I had that feeling briefly, until I stop by the Sunoco on the way home at 1:30 in the morning and have a chat with the dude who looks like he's either going to kill himself or someone else, and I remember having that exact same thought while working retail.

Every time someone comes in for a job application, I tell them that the job isn't difficult or complicated. It just requires that you care and pay attention.

The hardest part about it is the boredom.

In a rare exercise in role reversal, my wife actually acted as the voice of restraint last night when I went on my tirade about firing the kid. He's had a number of issues lately including drawer shortages and the no-show for work had me pissed enough to kick his ass. The wife (usually the hothead among us) actually told me to give the kid another chance.

So he's got another chance, but he's got about 6" of leash.

Kick Gas: Next On A&E!

Okay. I just caught a grown man stealing my last squeegee. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he said none of the other gas stations had any so he thought he'd keep it for when he needed it next.

Un fcuking believable.

Paleocon responded "None of the other gas stations have eyeballs, so I think I'll keep yours for when I need them next."

Parallax Abstraction wrote:

Kick Gas: Next On A&E!

I'd watch it.

Parallax Abstraction wrote:

Kick Gas: Next On A&E!

*cough*

Spoiler:

Unless you're speculating on which network would carry Paleo's show - in which case I agree :)

This thread needs to never end.

How about "Martial Gas" or "Fist Pump of Fury"

Episode 1: PUMPED WITH RAGE!

Episode 2: DRIVE OFF AND DIE!

Episode 3: SQUEEGEE IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE!

Is this on Netflix yet?

Tagging thread for future submission to Commandments/Hall of Fame.

Also, Dimmerswitch photoshops are best photoshops

A Fistful of Kimchee
For a Few Squeegees More

Episode 4: "Blow a Gasket"
Episode 5: "High Grade Justice"
Episode 6: "Shocks and Suspension"
Episode 7: "Undercairage Wash"

Episode 8: "Pump-Action Shotgun"
Episode 9: "Last Station to Hell"
Episode 10: "The Good, The Bad, The Korean"

Episode 11: "Flammable and Inflammable ARE THE SAME!"