Need First Date Advice!

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Alright, I've been out of the game for a few years, and now I'm actively on the dating scene. I met a really hot girl on okCupid, and now we're going on a date tomorrow night. I'm f*cking petrified. She likes rock music, motorcycles, dive bars, and she's a runner. She seems really bad ass and cool, but I am scared sh*tless about this date because I haven't been on one in forever. So now I'm asking for advice so I can go into this with a game plan. We're going to a dive bar near West 4th in Manhattan, I think it's called the four faced liar. Things about me to consider: I'm 23, I'm a stand up comedian, I'm a stock trading systems software engineer, and I can cook. Advice go!

She can get drunk, you can't.

It's a first date. At the very, very worst, she won't like you, and you'll be just as single as you are right now.

You literally have nothing to lose. So no need to panic.

Assuming she's not a murderer or somesuch, of course, in which case you actually have something to worry about. Otherwise, not so much.

What he said and be yourself and just chill. She may sound cool and bad ass but what if she hates kittens or thinks Hitler was an okay dude? Just go in and have some fun and hey if all signs point to + then neat a GF has possibly appeared.

Oh and don't forget to bring a towel!

Do not at any point in the evening utter the phrase "I go by the username of 'casual alcoholic' on a gaming forum".

My advice (insert standard disclaimer here) is that the goal of the first date is to determine whether or not to have a second date. Really, it all comes down to deciding if you both feel comfortable around each other. So yeah, pretty generic stuff, but you do stand up, so I'll assume you're in a pretty good starting position when it comes to making first impressions.

finger --> butt

Someone had to.

Floomi wrote:

finger --> butt

Someone had to.

I am amazed it took this long.

Don't over do it with the jokes
But really, just think of it this way...you can only gain, nothing to loose.

Just relax and be yourself and try to have a good time. That's the whole thing really.

I've been doing this a lot lately, so I feel your pain. Don't think I can help without some more specific details though -- no, not her phone number.

I always pick a nice, public spot. Either a coffee house or a bar. The trick is that you want a situation that's incredibly easy to get out of. Remember, it's not just about her liking you -- you have to like her, too. Ask me sometime about the "Hipster Egg" for whom I bought a drink and quickly ran away from. Dive bar sounds about perfect.

As far as nervousness, that's normal. Remember that this isn't a date as much as it is an interview. BE YOURSELF. She's either into that or she's not, and there's nothing worse than setting your first impression as anything but who you really are.

Conversation is key. You know nothing about this person execept what she put on her okc profile. And if it's anything like the profiles I've encountered, she's been vague as f*ck. Ask her what she does, how long she's been in the area, how she got the tattoo between her wonderful ... eyes. If you find yourself doing all the talking, ask yourself why. Is it because you're rambling? Rambling's not so bad. Is it because she's not talking? Then you can do better.

On the other hand, if she hasn't asked you a question in 20 minutes, she has issues.

Confidence is also key. This is why you need to just be yourself. It's a conversation is all. You ask some questions, she answers and asks a few of her own in the process. Try not to apologize too much -- it's super annoying. Sorry for calling you annoying.

If you're really strapped for ideas, go pick out a few of the questions from her okc profile. Or, even better, think up a couple of ways you can talk about how completely f*cked okc is. I've had two great dates based simply on making fun of the online dating service both she and I use.

Finally -- and I really mean this -- make sure your apartment isn't a total mess and that you have condoms on hand. Trust me on this one.

Best of luck. Looking forward to hearing how it goes.

- Talk less; listen more. Actually listen and ask questions only when you're actually interested. Don't brag.

- Be nice to her and everyone else as well. "If someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not nice"

- Eat and drink slowly. No guzzling or chomping.

- Be calm. She's just as lucky to meet you as you are to meet her, so no worries.

Floomi wrote:

finger --> butt

Someone had to.

Whose finger in whose butt?!

Honk honk.

Bring your horn. Girls love horns.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Do not at any point in the evening utter the phrase "I go by the username of 'casual alcoholic' on a gaming forum".

What if your handle is casual alcoholic on okcupid?

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Do not at any point in the evening utter the phrase "gaming forum".

Corrected.

look out for red flags, like mentioning the ex-boy/girl friend more than 4 times in a 30 minute span or praising jesus after each limoncello shot

seriously - just be yourself. I thought you were super cute when you hung out with me & Tanglebones.

good luck!

casual_alcoholic wrote:

She likes rock music, motorcycles, dive bars, and she's a runner.

AW! Ask if he has an older sister. I am assuming, she is your age?

There is some good stuff over here too.

http://www.gamerswithjobs.com/node/1...

Watch me wax poetically in the last few pages about how I suddenly became a human being after 28 years.

Just wondering. Are you asking how to get laid? Or how to not c*ck up a potentially good thing that may last longer?

After this and this, you ask for yet more Goodjer dating advice?

Oh ok, I'll be a little serious... Relax. She wanted this date too and she wants it to be fun too. Work out if you like her. She's not the only hot girl in the world. If this works out, great. If it doesn't, it's not the end of the world. Be yourself so she can work out if she likes you.

Oh, and I'm thinking Demiurge's idea of an escape plan is futile - she's a badass runner and has a motorbike...she'll catch you.

casual_alcoholic wrote:

Need First Date Advice!

Then you've come to the wrong place.

Demiurge wrote:

*stuff*

Perhaps a wingman would help? *hint, hint*

Cod wrote:

After this and this, you ask for yet more Goodjer dating advice? :)

Don't forget this one. True, this story's a bit more of happy kismit than anything else, but it's something to shoot for.

Step 1: Wear dragon costume.

Step 2: Hand girl bus costume.

Step 3:

IMAGE(http://i956.photobucket.com/albums/ae50/marsman61/GWJ/For-Boogle.jpg)

Public place, not too loud. Conversation is key. Point and counterpoint, ask follow up questions about things you are interested in, but don't dwell on anything you are clearly not or any other type of bulls*ttery. Try not to ever talk for more than 20-30 seconds without giving her a chance to respond. Being a comedian, I recommend to cool it on the jokes, it's fine to make a witty remark or two to show depth of humor, but you're not there to perform for her and if you slip into that mode she'll probably think you're trying to hard.

In my experience, these things are the second date killers from a guy's perspective:

1. Under-confidence
2. Self-centeredness
3. Breaching the physical contact barrier too soon
4. Fixation on a topic that doesn't interest her
5. Rudeness but...
5a. Also trying too hard.

Feeank wrote:

She can get drunk, you can't.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/2936/burn-...

Cod wrote:

After this and this, you ask for yet more Goodjer dating advice?

Oh ok, I'll be a little serious... Relax. She wanted this date too and she wants it to be fun too. Work out if you like her. She's not the only hot girl in the world. If this works out, great. If it doesn't, it's not the end of the world. Be yourself so she can work out if she likes you.

Oh, and I'm thinking Demiurge's idea of an escape plan is futile - she's a badass runner and has a motorbike...she'll catch you.

Heh.. the escape plan is a good thing because it relaxes things. No matter how nice you are, women will almost always be a little bit leery of meeting a new guy. Having people around, and exits available reduces one potential source of tension on the date. You're in the city - there are roughly a billion museums that you probably haven't been to yet, so your opportunities for dates where you can walk around and have something to talk about are great

Don't be a try hard. As Day9 says. Don't be a try hard. Also, Boner Amanda.http://damnyouautocorrect.com/8381/close-siblings/

Relax.

1Dgaf wrote:

Relax.

IMAGE(http://i.imgur.com/q1Cbn.jpg)

and wear a hatte!

Definitely keep a detailed accounting of you dates, no holds barred, to get things of your chest. Preferably in this thread.

Floomi wrote:

finger --> butt

Someone had to.

This was my first thought as soon as I saw the thread.

Don't do the thing were you say "Oh man, I got gum on my pants" but it's actually your scrotum. That's more of a second date kind of gag.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Step 1: Wear dragon costume.

Step 2: Hand girl bus costume.

Step 3:

IMAGE(http://i956.photobucket.com/albums/ae50/marsman61/GWJ/For-Boogle.jpg)

I am crying with laughter right now. Simply brilliant.

To be fair, it's Marsman's work from the famed Boogle Dating Thread. I could never lay claim to such utter brilliance.

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