"Bet you can't make a film based on Battleship."

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"You're on."

Wikipedia wrote:

A story of an international Navy fleet engaged in a very dynamic and intense battle against an alien race known as "The Regents". The aliens come to planet Earth, on a mission to build a power source in the ocean. Upon their visit, they come in contact with a navy fleet. The film is also purported to show both sides of the story, from the aliens' perspective, as well as the humans' so the audience knows exactly where the opponent's ships are.

MV: "So, when do they set up the grid?"

*camera pans out to aerial view*

MV: *uncontrollable laughter*

First the Star Wars "prequels", then Clash of the Titans, and now this? If I were Liam Neeson, I'd toss my agent through a wood chipper feet first.

So in the end I assume that one pesky destroyer that the aliens couldn't find takes out the whole alien armada.

Odds on Liam shouting "B5!" at the top of his lungs sometime during the movie?

I'm waiting for the Chutes and Ladders movie.

My game didn't come with the Abyss ripoff Michael Bay robot alien pieces. I never knew I was missing those.

Paleocon wrote:

First the Star Wars "prequels", then Clash of the Titans, and now this? If I were Liam Neeson, I'd toss my agent through a wood chipper feet first.

Hey he gave us Taken amongst that so I'll allow it.

Not sure what the general GWJ opinion of Cracked is, but this is applicable. http://www.cracked.com/blog/novelization-trailer-movie-battleship/

Liam Neeson is starring in this film ironically.

I actually think knowing both sides' positions is neat, though. I hope they pull it off. It will be glorious if this movie actually turns out to be good.

Mr. Neeson enjoys being the best thing about the movies he's in.

Wait, what?

Then there's this:

Current Hollywood laziness does not seem solely to blame for this one as it looks like the trend dates back to at least 1985 with Clue.

They'd probably sell more tickets with something based on Twister.

krev82 wrote:

Current Hollywood laziness does not seem solely to blame for this one as it looks like the trend dates back to at least 1985 with Clue.

They'd probably sell more tickets with something based on Twister.

The difference being Clue was and still is good.

I could be wrong but this will be no Clue, unless this was just the worst trailer ever made for an OK movie.

If I were optimistic, I'd say this premise has potential. A good plot would have both sides participating in an intense and multifaceted battle of wits. Bonus points if they can somehow bring game references into the script. A disappointing plot would be this:

imbiginjapan wrote:

So in the end I assume that one pesky destroyer that the aliens couldn't find takes out the whole alien armada.

Just judging from the trailer biginjapan is more likely to be right than not.

I almost feel like attending the opening night doused in gasoline and lighting myself on fire the minute someone screams "you sank my battleship!"

4xis.black wrote:

I almost feel like attending the opening night doused in gasoline and lighting myself on fire the minute someone screams "you sank my battleship!"

Thing is..they have to say it, right? It's like making a Terminator without saying "i'll be back." Regardless of how cliched and expected it is at this point.....it's unfinished without it.

A superior film would find some clever way around saying it while still hinting at the fact that you were kind of expecting them to say it. Perhaps Liam Neeson will tell his ship that it just sank his battle.

4xis.black wrote:

A superior film would find some clever way around saying it while still hinting at the fact that you were kind of expecting them to say it. Perhaps Liam Neeson will tell his ship that it just sank the battle.

"they just sank my battleship."

"which battleship sir?"

"all the battleships"

"that's alright sir. at least we've got the patrol boat! she's only two pegs long and they'll never find her down there in J10."

All of the fireworks are going to be revealed as a dream, and the central issue is post traumatic stress disorder. Our protagonist is going to be struggling to fight 'an alien', when in fact it was his dissolving marriage and alienation from his wife that he was battling against all along. We see his hands.. missing fingers from the injuries inflicted during his service time, toying with the pegs that fit the game board, but shadowy, brief, distant. He can't fit the pegs into the god-damn game-board. He reads a children's book out loud, one he remembers reading to his son before custody battles and deployment, while shakily trying to insert a peg into a hole on the board, failing. Ends up knocking the table over, sobbing, staggering off. Tensions mount, world powers suspicious of each other's motives in wake of the unexpected energy signatures and cosmic phenomena. Nuclear exchange.

The final scene is him lying on his back on an aircraft carrier, arms behind his head, and finally the aliens are revealed, roiling out of the ocean in an orgasmic CGI display in the last 20 seconds of the film. They were never above us, always beneath us. Roll credits. No battle. Game over.

I already have my cosplay outfit for my favorite character, the red peg, ready.

That looks absolutely awful. Why on earth am I gone for the summer of good movies, but assuredly will be home for what's looking like the summer of crap?

James Cameron seems to think it degrades cinema.

IIRC Universal made a deal with Hasbro to make at least four movies based on Hasbro brands. I'm pretty sure one of the other 3 is a movie based on monopoly. No idea about the remaining two are but Hasbro owns an awful lot of stuff to choose from.

SpacePPoliceman wrote:

I already have my cosplay outfit for my favorite character, the red peg, ready.

Slow down sexy, this thing is PG-13.

I heard about this a while ago. Just as puzzling is the fact that Candy Land, Monopoly (apparently involving Ridley Scott) and, strangest of all, View Master are apparently being made into movies. On the video game side they are supposed to be making a Joust movie too.

I know it's a merchandising thing but it's a shame to see when there are so many great ideas and books out there that actually would make great movies.

Guess Who: A hard-boiled, near-retirement cop and also Chris Tucker must identify and apprehend a serial killer by finding hidden cellphones around New York City (Vancouver) and asking him one yes-or-no question about his appearance per phone call.

Connect Four: Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson must prevent the guy who played Dr. Bashir from collecting four matching nuclear launch keys and using them to wipe out California.

Simon: Like Saw, but instead of being punished by death the victims just have to play Simon.

4xis.black wrote:

Guess Who: A hard-boiled, near-retirement cop and also Chris Tucker must identify and apprehend a serial killer by finding hidden cellphones around New York City (Vancouver) and asking him one yes-or-no question about his appearance per phone call.

Connect Four: Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson must prevent the guy who played Dr. Bashir from collecting four matching nuclear launch keys and using them to wipe out California.

Simon: Like Saw, but instead of being punished by death the victims just have to play Simon.

Candyland: Tony Todd stars as the lost king of Candyland.

4xis.black wrote:

Guess Who: A hard-boiled, near-retirement cop and also Chris Tucker must identify and apprehend a serial killer by finding hidden cellphones around New York City (Vancouver) and asking him one yes-or-no question about his appearance per phone call.

Wow. If it wasn't Chris Tucker, this might actually work. Bravo!

Candyland has the best potential of those discussed so far, if they went crazy (see Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland) with it while Viewmaster is so vague a source material that nothing they can do will make sense. And to me, Monopoly would just be another Wall Street.

I also heard an Asteroids film is in the works. That ones a lot easier to add aliens to it so they'll probably do better with it.

Hasbro owns Wizards of the coast, surely that presents a far better selection of things more suited to film. . .

I've given it some thought, and I think Scrabbleship would have been a superior movie.

IMAGE(http://i54.tinypic.com/2eowbpw.png)

I could see a Wishmaster-like rendition of Viewmaster. You see your desires in the Viewmaster, and in real life they become horrifyingly real in some weird twisted way.

Don't forget Tetris: The Movie

krev82 wrote:

James Cameron seems to think it degrades cinema.

Wait...Not only did a bunch of movie executives green light a film about a board game, but they're spending *$200 million* to make it?

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