http://www.seacoastonline.com/news/h...
Urgh...too funny..though why anyone would have wasted $40 on a show by her is a mystery to me.
The ladies in the article were just pissed that it wasn''t their cousin Celine up on stage.
She told everyone to stop looking at her teeth and look at her breasts.
No problem. Been doing that for years.
My favorite is the part where she came out for an encore but instead she yodeled for a minute then left.
Is there some narcissistic idiot gene that suddenly expresses itself in ""pop stars"" when they suddenly add ""former"" to that title?
""I saw her live in Boston and it was the greatest show I've ever been to,"" Dion said. ""I don't know if she was having a nervous breakdown or what. She told everyone to stop looking at her teeth and look at her breasts.""
Trying to get in touch with the men in the audience I guess. Maybe she''s trying to one-up Britney?
I fully expect the current crop of pop queens to have on-stage meltdowns of this calibur in the next few years. Of course, Christina Aguilera will do it while dry-humping one of her dancers, Britney Spears will lipsync hers while crying, and Jessica Simpson''s will be triggered when she forgets the lyrics to her own song.
Oh man. I would have totally paid 40 bucks to see her break down on stage. Sounds like she didn''t get her Paxil.
Oh man. I would have totally paid 40 bucks to see her break down on stage. Sounds like she didn''t get her Paxil.
That''s what I was thinking Mex. I would have enjoyed that more than listening to her sing.
Do you guys remember that book of poetry she busted out with 7 or 8 years ago? I leafed through it at Borders when it came out and it was some of the most laughably bad excrement disguised as verse that I''ve ever read.
Oh, but Sanjy, she''s so deep! And thoughtful! And, uh, deep!
[size=5]She has big boobies.[/size]
Do you guys remember that book of poetry she busted out with 7 or 8 years ago? I leafed through it at Borders when it came out and it was some of the most laughably bad excrement disguised as verse that I''ve ever read.
So was her ""album"". Every song on it was from the jilted female category.
She''s proof that even experienced performers sometimes forget the basic rules, including, ""Don''t drop acid from a source you don''t know before going on stage.""
She has big boobies.
Them boobies are wired to one crazy broad.
"baggachipz" wrote:She has big boobies.
Them boobies are wired to one crazy broad.
They all are son, they all are.
"Rat Boy" wrote:"baggachipz" wrote:She has big boobies.
Them boobies are wired to one crazy broad.
They all are son, they all are.
Testify!
Do you guys remember that book of poetry she busted out with 7 or 8 years ago? I leafed through it at Borders when it came out and it was some of the most laughably bad excrement disguised as verse that I''ve ever read.
<pulls book off shelf>
I''ve read worse. Ann Coulter comes to mind 
Perhaps you''d like to share something less fetid with the class?
Still, if you want from that to a booty-shaker who''s become the topic of her own establishment-hating songs, you''d probably be hooked and anti-depressants too.
Keph- I do not possess the book and thusly can produce no specific examples from it, but the next time I''m in a bookstore (undoubtedly the next couple of days) I''ll jot some down in my Palm.
In terms of less hideously rank poetry (assuming that my memory of her poetry is accurate), where to begin? How about Fredrico Garcia Lorca? Or Siegfried Sassoon?
Here''s a sample of Jewel''s lyrics, scraped off from under someone''s shoe by Google:
She''s an ugly girl, does it make you want to kill her?
She''s an ugly girl, do you want to kick in her face?
She''s an ugly girl, she doesn''t pose a threat.
She''s an ugly girl, does that make you feel safe?
Ugly girl, ugly girl, do you hate her
Cause she''s pieces of you?
Wow. That''s intense.
"Rat Boy" wrote:"baggachipz" wrote:She has big boobies.
Them boobies are wired to one crazy broad.
They all are son, they all are.
Mateo, that literally made me lol.
She''s an ugly girl, does it make you want to kill her?
She''s an ugly girl, do you want to kick in her face?
She''s an ugly girl, she doesn''t pose a threat.
She''s an ugly girl, does that make you feel safe?
Ugly girl, ugly girl, do you hate her
Cause she''s pieces of you?
Oh christ, I''m crying with laughter.
It''s like Phoebe''s songs from Friends.
I saw her when she was opening for Peter Murphy (allmusic.com is unbearably slow right now or I''d do a link) about a year or two before she got ''big''. Needless to say her type of music didn''t gel with Peter Murphy fans and after about two songs everyone started booing and ''asking'' here to get off stage. She proceeded to just scream full boar into the microphone for about 20 minutes.
I guess she had quite a few shows like that before ''breaking through'', there was an incident in Detroit where the show sold out in 20 minutes because they thought it was a Jew-El (a rapper) concert, needless to say there were riots when it was a white woman.
Sherrif Bart - ""Where are all the white women at?""
about a year or two before she got ''big''
You mean they aren''t real?? 
To be honest I didn''t notice her breasts that first night. I didn''t even put it all together until I read an article about her after she had become a star detailing her early years on the road. It told of the mismatch in hers and Murphy''s music, the yodelling, the screaming and the Detroit Jew-El story.
Her breasts are probably real but then again, she is getting into movies now and none of the actor seem to want to age naturally.
I have no problem with paying $40 to hear her breasts but there better be jiggling! jiggle I say!
I have no problem with paying $40 to hear her breasts but there better be jiggling! jiggle I say!
Hell, in order to hear that in a concert setting, you''d need a rather good microphone.
Guess I am in the minority here but I like some of Jewel''s music.
Of course she is nuts but almost all artist/musicians are from what I can tell.
Her lyrics may not always be the greatest but the music often sounds good to the ear and that is ok with me. Not every song has to have deep lyrics to be a good song in my book.
Never read her poetry but then again I learned that lesson long time ago when I ordered chocolate moose for desert in a Japanese restaurant. Stick to what they do you like. 
Rat Boy wrote:
baggachipz wrote:
She has big boobies.Them boobies are wired to one crazy broad.
They all are son, they all are.
Hoo yeah, I second/third or fourth this one
"Rat Boy" wrote:"baggachipz" wrote:She has big boobies.
Them boobies are wired to one crazy broad.
They all are son, they all are.
(visualizes a crazy broad with 8 billion boobies wired to her)
(visualizes a crazy broad with 8 billion boobies wired to her)
That ain''t no broad, pally, that''s a mutant gopher!
There''s a weird crazy narcissism you need to have to want to sing professionally, center stage and all. Boobies or no boobies. It''s a pretty ugly business.
I''ll stick to teaching. Or backup singing. Whichever.
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