LoveFAQs

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In a strange twist of fate, I've been asked by The Escapist to write LoveFAQs, a new weekly advice column about sex, dating and relationships. Frankly, I'm beyond excited about it, and we've already gotten some great submissions for it.

But we need more. So help me, Obi-Wan Goodjers.

Got questions? I got answers.

I'll give you the same general spiel I posted in The Escapist forums: I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm not a therapist. I'm not even a dentist. But I do know a thing or two about finding love and making it last. After a long string of comically awful relationships -- I once dated a bisexual cheerleader who called himself Batman, and he was one of the normal ones -- I somehow still found the love of my life, so who knows? Maybe I can help you find yours, too.

No question is too saucy or too strange, and everything's strictly confidential and anonymous. Like I said at The Escapist, think of me like your older sister -- if your older sister were a foul-mouthed, hard-drinking math geek who could kick your ass in Smash Brothers.

So if you have any burning love, dating or relationship questions, please email me at [email protected] (DON'T post them to this forum thread, or else Rob might get upset about spoilers). And I look forward to your submissions.

So, you know. SUBMIT.

o.O

Dr.Ghastly wrote:

o.O

I know, right? But you know this will be so full of awesome the vast reaches of the Internet will not be able to contain it.

Nice.

Congrats. If I ever have a need of advice to reconcile marriage & gaming, I'll be sure to come to you.

I've always wanted a big sister.

KaterinLHC wrote:
Dr.Ghastly wrote:

o.O

I know, right? But you know this will be so full of awesome the vast reaches of the Internet will not be able to contain it.

Well said.

Is there a place in a man's head where, if you shoot it, it will blow up?

[size=6]Gratz, btw![/size]

From what appears to be the usual demographic that participates in The Escapist's forums, I would say things like "What's the best way to get Suzie to ask me to the Sadie Hawkins dance" would be appropriate.

Grenn wrote:

Is there a place in a man's head where, if you shoot it, it will blow up?

In or on?

Yes, it matters.

KaterinLHC wrote:
Grenn wrote:

Is there a place in a man's head where, if you shoot it, it will blow up?

In or on?

Yes, it matters.

Given my aim, an answer to both is necessary.

Here's a doozy if you want it for your column: how do you deal with moving on (much less trusting someone again) after having an engagement broken off after 5+ years of living together?

Ok, so that one may be too much for your column.

A more approachable one might be: how does a rather newly single 30-something introverted geek go about finding a woman with whom there would be potential for a lifelong partnership? (i.e. not looking for advice on how to get one-night stands)

It must be said for posterity: Finger---> Butt

Paging Mr. Boogle... Mr. Boogle to the LoveFAQs thread, please.

Get your advice pants on, because I've got some doozies for you.

Farscry wrote:

Here's a doozy if you want it for your column: how do you deal with moving on (much less trusting someone again) after having an engagement broken off after 5+ years of living together?

Ok, so that one may be too much for your column.

A more approachable one might be: how does a rather newly single 30-something introverted geek go about finding a woman with whom there would be potential for a lifelong partnership? (i.e. not looking for advice on how to get one-night stands)

Sadly, I can't answer questions here, but if you really want an answer to either question -- and I hope you do, because I would love to sink my teeth into them -- ping me at [email protected].

It's all anonymous, although if you don't supply an alias, I can't promise that I will refrain from making up some ridiculous name for you, like "Baffled in Brinstar" or "Konfused in Kirkwall" or something.

Wondering in Winterfell.

Challenge Dan Savage to a gross-off.

Grenn wrote:

Wondering in Winterfell.

Dear LoveFAQs,
I am married to my deceased brother's fiancee, but I also fathered a bastard with another woman. My wife hates the kid, but I really want him to come live with us. Any advice?

KaterinLHC wrote:
Farscry wrote:

Here's a doozy if you want it for your column: how do you deal with moving on (much less trusting someone again) after having an engagement broken off after 5+ years of living together?

Ok, so that one may be too much for your column.

A more approachable one might be: how does a rather newly single 30-something introverted geek go about finding a woman with whom there would be potential for a lifelong partnership? (i.e. not looking for advice on how to get one-night stands)

Sadly, I can't answer questions here, but if you really want an answer to either question -- and I hope you do, because I would love to sink my teeth into them -- ping me at [email protected].

It's all anonymous, although if you don't supply an alias, I can't promise that I will refrain from making up some ridiculous name for you, like "Baffled in Brinstar" or "Konfused in Kirkwall" or something.

I was actually serious, but honestly wasn't sure if it was too much for your column. I'll shoot you an email!

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

From what appears to be the usual demographic that participates in The Escapist's forums, I would say things like "What's the best way to get Suzie to ask me to the Sadie Hawkins dance" would be appropriate.

The Escapist forums are populated by time-travelers from 1952?

When does this go live? Skimming twitter I think I saw it'll be on Fridays. Will that be this Friday?

And if I'm Neutral and about to die, what should my final words to my wife be?

Alright, I sent ya a question. Can you post a link to your column here so we can check it out when it's up.

Good luck with the column.

Cheers!

muttonchop wrote:
Grenn wrote:

Wondering in Winterfell.

Dear LoveFAQs,
I am married to my deceased brother's fiancee, but I also fathered a bastard with another woman. My wife hates the kid, but I really want him to come live with us. Any advice?

The answer to that question would take at least five books. Maybe seven. I don't think The Escapist has that in their monthly budget.

Congrats on the column! Sounds like it could be a fun and interesting read.

McChuck wrote:

When does this go live? Skimming twitter I think I saw it'll be on Fridays. Will that be this Friday?

And if I'm Neutral and about to die, what should my final words to my wife be?

I believe, if all things go as planned, we're shooting for June 24th (next Friday) for the first column. I hesitate to say, definitively, that is the day, because of course editorial calendars can change as needed. I'll link when the first goes live.

And you already know the answer to your second question: Hello.

Here is a question for you.

Do you think everyone needs someone else to be complete? Can you reach your full potential without someone to love and to love you back.

wordsmythe wrote:

Nicccce.

FTFY.

Congrats. I may ask about the great relationship conundrum.

and I hope you do, because I would love to sink my teeth into them

>.> I see what you did there...

Baron Of Hell wrote:

Here is a question for you.

Do you think everyone needs someone else to be complete? Can you reach your full potential without someone to love and to love you back.

+1 good question!

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