Duke Nukem Forever Catch-All

ccesarano wrote:

It's hard to really explain in only a paragraph, but for me, Duke Nukem Forever won't just be a game, it'll be a study on 3D Realms, their ego, and their downfall.

I was thinking the same thing earlier. I have been following DNF since 1997 (still have the Nov '97 issue of PC Gamer with DNF on the cover), and all this time I thought -- it's being delayed because of yet another engine change. That's often what we were told "Broussard wants to change the graphics engine ... again". Now I wonder if the delays weren't simply because ... it sucked. Apparently, there was just nothing there.

I don't want to write this game's obit before it's released, but these reviews are all saying the same thing.

ccesarano wrote:

It's hard to really explain in only a paragraph, but for me, Duke Nukem Forever won't just be a game, it'll be a study on 3D Realms, their ego, and their downfall.

Did you just talk yourself into playing Duke Nukem Forever? Though I'd read it. I read Scott Millers blog long enough to want some form of closure, even if I never really wanted to play the game in the first place.

Actually, I discovered something on Saturday. I'm not willing to wait fifteen minutes in line to play Duke Nukem, even if its running on a giant triple-widescreen setup with 3D glasses. Aliens: Colonial Marines looked kind of cool though.

LobsterMobster wrote:

Before we celebrate too much, can we take a moment and reflect upon this project? Over a decade in development? A company destroyed? Nothing but doctored, generic-looking screens and videos? All for a game that, yes, made contributions in its day but now is the very definition of generic?

This kind of offends my sense of justice. DNF does not deserve to see the light of day. When I think of all the other projects that could have been funded for the cost of this single failure, it kind of ticks me off that it should get even one penny more.

It's always a sad day when it turns out Lobster was right all along.

I wanted this game to be *good*, all I've read so far points to it being a huge waste of everyone's time.

I just hope Gearbox doesn't get hurt too bad by this. I want me some Borderlands 2.

I'm going to experience it for myself and decide if the entertainment value is there after all these years. I'll definitely go with the PC platform as it seems the 'lead' sku.

I'm not going to take it seriously. Not going to read into any deep messages. Not going to let my purchase define me or represent my world view. Not going to apologize for wanting to play out what will likely be the final chapter of this dusty 'franchise.'

I figure whatever they've chosen to depict in 3D is only more offensive, because the last time it was within the limited tech of the 2.5D Build engine. I will be contributing 3999 more US pennies to it. Maybe, I'll enjoy it, and it's with that intent that I will shell out all those pennies. If I don't, well then the story is done.

Well I bought it, pre-loading now. I feel like I regret it already, but I wanted to be part of gaming history. Plus, the 13 year old inside me would be horribly disappointed if I didn't buy this as soon as it was released.

Barab wrote:

Well I bought it, pre-loading now. I feel like I regret it already, but I wanted to be part of gaming history. Plus, the 13 year old inside me would be horribly disappointed if I didn't buy this as soon as it was released.

Worst case scenario, you supported Gearbox and (hopefully) Borderlands 2.

My last comment was that I would wait and see what Jeff Green had to say about it.
I think these comments on twitter pretty much sums it up:

Words, or tweets, cannot express how uninterested I am in Duke Nukem Forever. This is my cool story for you, bro.

and

Exactly. RT @andrewGuttman It was so much more interesting as a legend/joke than an actual game.
Gremlin wrote:

Did you just talk yourself into playing Duke Nukem Forever?

Pretty much. I was never a PC gamer, so all I knew of Duke Nukem was the box art for the PSX and N64 ports of the game. Then I heard Megadeth's theme for it, and eventually read an article on Gamasutra about the evolution of level design and development from Wolfenstein to Quake 2. I found out there was some genius design in Duke Nukem 3D, but not much else. It wasn't until around...2007? Someone showed me the original 2001 or so game trailer and I was surprised to find the game looked fun.

So technically I have no true emotional investment, but due to my interest in this industry, the mythos behind the game has left me curious and dying to just try the final product.

I think the best way to put it is that sheer morbid curiosity that cannot be killed. Every time I drive by nasty road kill on the side of the road, part of me just wants to pull over and examine what it looks like since I've never actually seen the insides of a creature outside of fake movie props and effects. Duke Nukem Forever is sort of the same thing.

I'm not terribly far in, but I'm liking it so far. It feels like one of those long-lost cancelled game projects that get dug up one day and then get distributed around all the ROM sites, maybe someone writes a small article or blog post about it and people like me go and check it out because they're curious about this brand new old game, except that this time the guy who found the project was Gearbox and the ROM site is paying $50-$60 to some kind of store. Luckily I have a friend who paid for it so I'm getting to play it for free.

The shooting is simple and fun, although the spaces you're fighting in at the beginning aren't terribly exciting. The weapons seem pretty good so far. The rest of the package (graphics, dialogue, whatever else you feel like putting in here) seems weird and outdated, almost like it was abandoned back in 2005 and never finished properly. The jokes are all terrible, but in a delightful way. I particularly enjoyed the jab at Gears of War 2 because it sort of came out of nowhere and didn't really make any kind of sense in context, which is a perfectly valid way to describe much of the game.

I threw some poop around. I threw poop at a corpse sitting on a step to see if it would splatter all over his clothes. It went through him and hit the ground right under his ass, so it looked like he had explosive diarrhea where he was sitting. That was the highlight of the game for me, so far. That's not supposed to be quite as sad as it sounds.

gains wrote:
LobsterMobster wrote:
gains wrote:

The topless woman is being raped by the alien baby-making hive.

What sickens me more than anything is that she is moaning in pseudo-pleasure. See also Hentai tentacle porn. Impregnated victims in Aliens beg to be put down as their insides are ripped up. They are not acting like they enjoy it on some level.

I am upgrading my dislike of this game to loathing. I must stop reading this thread because I will think less of anyone who posts here saying they like the game. I'm very sorry to say that and I hate to piss on anyone's fun but I'm revolted. I'm sitting here at my desk with a lump in my stomach and I have to correct frequent typos because my hands are shaking.

F*** Gearbox. They lost a customer. Borderlands 2 is on boycott and I may chuck 1 out of spite.

Sickens you? Or challenges your pre-conditioned, false beliefs about what is and is not, in fact, torture porn!?

Hoooooooo boy. Yep. That's a very difficult subject and something my wife and I were discussing last night. We're going to take on the subject of rape/revenge films for her horror film review blog and I'm not looking forward to it. There are certain conditions under which I can see that sort of thing and recognize it's value (Irreversible) and others in which it makes me physically ill. Duke falls in the latter category. Sorry. This just hits one of my buttons, as I had anticipated. I had a rough time with Prey as well when children were popped and impaled.

I thought you were so indignant that you were going to quit reading this thread?

garion333 wrote:

I just hope Gearbox doesn't get hurt too bad by this. I want me some Borderlands 2.

Well, its been at the top of the UK charts since release on Friday despite the crappy reviews, so they'll probably do better than they deserve to.

MechaSlinky wrote:

I threw some poop around. I threw poop at a corpse sitting on a step to see if it would splatter all over his clothes. It went through him and hit the ground right under his ass, so it looked like he had explosive diarrhea where he was sitting. That was the highlight of the game for me, so far. That's not supposed to be quite as sad as it sounds.

I'm just re-quoting this because, damn. I don't know what I expected from DNF, honestly something kinda lame... But Triple-A Turd Throwing Simulator wasn't it.

stevenmack wrote:
garion333 wrote:

I just hope Gearbox doesn't get hurt too bad by this. I want me some Borderlands 2.

Well, its been at the top of the UK charts since release on Friday despite the crappy reviews, so they'll probably do better than they deserve to.

Probably, but most UK retailers allow people to exchange their purchases within a week or two for reasons as simple as they just don't like it. I have to wonder how many will end up coming back after morbid curiosity has been fulfilled.

Giant Bomb posted their quick look. Surprisingly the biggest takeaway I got from watching it was how BORING and UGLY everything seems. A real shame.

This must be the first time the GWJ crowd has disabled me from buying a game. My wallet thanks you!

Spoiler:

disabled can be used as opposite of enabled, right?

Man this game is terrible.

ccesarano wrote:

I think the best way to put it is that sheer morbid curiosity that cannot be killed. Every time I drive by nasty road kill on the side of the road, part of me just wants to pull over and examine what it looks like since I've never actually seen the insides of a creature outside of fake movie props and effects. Duke Nukem Forever is sort of the same thing.

Reading this thread gives me all the fix I need.

Maybe I'll buy DNF when it's $5.00 on Steam during some sale- but not before.

dejanzie wrote:
Spoiler:

disabled can be used as opposite of enabled, right?

I think we need an official ruling from Wordy.

Gremlin wrote:
dejanzie wrote:
Spoiler:

disabled can be used as opposite of enabled, right?

I think we need an official ruling from Wordy.

I think the appropriate term would be disenabled. Maybe de-enabled or denabled.

Speedhuntr wrote:

Giant Bomb posted their quick look. Surprisingly the biggest takeaway I got from watching it was how BORING and UGLY everything seems. A real shame.

I just finished watching it, and I have to agree. Yesterday I was considering paying half price for DNF, but after watching the quick look, I'm not willing to pay more than $10.

Gremlin wrote:
dejanzie wrote:
Spoiler:

disabled can be used as opposite of enabled, right?

I think we need an official ruling from Wordy.

It absolutely can. It's very common to see in software development.

Feeank wrote:
LobsterMobster wrote:

Before we celebrate too much, can we take a moment and reflect upon this project? Over a decade in development? A company destroyed? Nothing but doctored, generic-looking screens and videos? All for a game that, yes, made contributions in its day but now is the very definition of generic?

This kind of offends my sense of justice. DNF does not deserve to see the light of day. When I think of all the other projects that could have been funded for the cost of this single failure, it kind of ticks me off that it should get even one penny more.

It's always a sad day when it turns out Lobster was right all along.

I wanted this game to be *good*, all I've read so far points to it being a huge waste of everyone's time.

I was hoping it'd be average, like a solid 75: a lackluster ending to a story that's gone on about five times longer than it should have. If it's not even that, then that's just really sad. After all this time, money and effort, they couldn't even manage that. How is a designer supposed to feel about that?

At least we can always remember the silver lining: I was right, and I made Feeank sad.

Aaron D. wrote:
Jeff-66 wrote:

You're not confusing SS1: the 2nd encounter with Serious Sam 2 are you?

Why yes...yes I am.

I thought you were talking about Second Encounter.

My bad!

For a moment there I thought you meant System Shock 2, and if you were, we'd have to have words. My friend. Angry ones.

gains wrote:

Stuff!

The difference is that Silent Hill is always very respectful to the material. The people in Silent Hill games are messed up, even before they get to Silent Hill. Silent Hill shows them things they don't want to see, and does it in the most horrible way imaginable. They're more likely to break down sobbing than make a sexist quip, and that's the point. It's a series about being in a horrible place that makes you - as the player - feel kind of uncomfortable. It's not like Resident Evil where the difference between being safe and being dead is a monster closet or a shotgun blast. It's about being in an oppressive environment that you can't really escape.

As for Bulletstorm, I'm kind of on the fence about that one. The profanity is dumb but they're clearly aware that it's dumb. When you have one character asking what it even means to murder a dick, and a man and a woman arguing about who is going to murder whose dick, that's funny for reasons that have nothing to do with male anatomy. It's ridiculous.

AndrewA wrote:

Maybe I'll buy DNF when it's $5.00 on Steam during some sale- but not before.

You know, Steam presently has 360 games on it, all of which are likely better in some way, that are $5 already

(OK, I lie. There's probably a game about breast-feeding babies... wait, no. That's probably an unlockable minigame in Duke. Let's try again... a game about babysitting adorable hamsters that is of lesser quality than DNF but, y'know, that dudebro meme had to start somewhere).*

* Look, it's presently 1:45 in the morning here. I don't know what the hell I'm writing. I don't even know why I'm still up, or even if I am, in fact, still 'up' and not in a fever dream where I'm about to get eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Pretendbeard wrote:

* Look, it's presently 1:45 in the morning here. I don't know what the hell I'm writing. I don't even know why I'm still up, or even if I am, in fact, still 'up' and not in a fever dream where I'm about to get eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

I have some good news for you. That is actually a Carcharodontosaurus Saharicus. So, there's that.

Pretendbeard wrote:
stevenmack wrote:
garion333 wrote:

I just hope Gearbox doesn't get hurt too bad by this. I want me some Borderlands 2.

Well, its been at the top of the UK charts since release on Friday despite the crappy reviews, so they'll probably do better than they deserve to.

Probably, but most UK retailers allow people to exchange their purchases within a week or two for reasons as simple as they just don't like it. I have to wonder how many will end up coming back after morbid curiosity has been fulfilled.

That's never been my experience.... nor when i was working in the retail sector for entertainment in the UK.... Which shops were you doing this in?

I played a few minutes of multiplayer during lunch. Holy crap is it bad.

I think this right here is pretty much the best review I've seen out there for this game, and sums up nicely my own feelings after watching Giant Bomb's quick look of it.

http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/...

I just read it and he is nailing it, unfortunately.

Switchbreak wrote:

I think this right here is pretty much the best review I've seen out there for this game, and sums up nicely my own feelings after watching Giant Bomb's quick look of it.

http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/...

Best line of the review - "The set piece is a provocative stunt by developers who have lost all sense of where the line between "edgy" and "we are all terrible people" should be, nothing more.

My schadenfreude-o-meter is dinging wildly.