Rapture is May 21st. Save the date.

Saturday is my wife's birthday, and we're having a garage sale. If you believe you're one of the chosen, make sure you stop by early. Also, please pay for your stuff immediately and don't just float off upwards with it.

Did the Bible take Daylight Savings Time into account?

I remember when the Rapture was supposed to be May 21st 2001. I guess they left a one out of the year that time. Ok, really, this time they've got the date right!

My moment of prophecy: On May 22nd, these yahoos will declare that, while the underlying calculations were sound, they got one thing slightly wrong - and that the rapture will happen on October 21, 2011.

To steal something I saw on Twitter, it would be awesome if all the atheists just hid on Saturday to freak these people out.

The number of people who believe they will be among the 144000 lifted into heaven seems to be FAR larger than 144000. If this thing ever happens there are going to be a lot of people hit with the horror that they didn't make the cut and are about to suffer immensely.

krev82 wrote:

The number of people who believe they will be among the 144000 lifted into heaven seems to be FAR larger than 144000. If this thing ever happens there are going to be a lot of people hit with the horror that they didn't make the cut and are about to suffer immensely.

IMAGE(http://raul.markrowan.com/raul/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/haha.jpg)

Dimmerswitch wrote:

My moment of prophecy: On May 22nd, these yahoos will declare that, while the underlying calculations were sound, they got one thing slightly wrong - and that the rapture will happen on October 21, 2011.

Damn Jesus scheduling his rapture after my birthday. No one is going to want to party the night before the rapture. Such an asshole.

boogle wrote:
Dimmerswitch wrote:

My moment of prophecy: On May 22nd, these yahoos will declare that, while the underlying calculations were sound, they got one thing slightly wrong - and that the rapture will happen on October 21, 2011.

Damn Jesus scheduling his rapture after my birthday. No one is going to want to party the night before the rapture. Such an asshole.

C'mon, Boogle, this can really work for you. "Baby, the Rapture's tomorrow, this might be our only chance!"

Parallax Abstraction wrote:

The bible guarantees the McDonald's Judgment Day is coming? I dunno, cheeseburgers raining from the sky could be pretty good...

Yeah, it's pretty funny. That McDonalds is just down the road from me too.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
boogle wrote:
Dimmerswitch wrote:

My moment of prophecy: On May 22nd, these yahoos will declare that, while the underlying calculations were sound, they got one thing slightly wrong - and that the rapture will happen on October 21, 2011.

Damn Jesus scheduling his rapture after my birthday. No one is going to want to party the night before the rapture. Such an asshole.

C'mon, Boogle, this can really work for you. "Baby, the Rapture's tomorrow, this might be our only chance!"

Yeah, of course she's going to be sobbing in contrition afterwards to buy her ticket into heaven.

MrDeVil909 wrote:
Parallax Abstraction wrote:

The bible guarantees the McDonald's Judgment Day is coming? I dunno, cheeseburgers raining from the sky could be pretty good...

Yeah, it's pretty funny. That McDonalds is just down the road from me too.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
boogle wrote:
Dimmerswitch wrote:

My moment of prophecy: On May 22nd, these yahoos will declare that, while the underlying calculations were sound, they got one thing slightly wrong - and that the rapture will happen on October 21, 2011.

Damn Jesus scheduling his rapture after my birthday. No one is going to want to party the night before the rapture. Such an asshole.

C'mon, Boogle, this can really work for you. "Baby, the Rapture's tomorrow, this might be our only chance!"

Yeah, of course she's going to be sobbing in contrition afterwards to buy her ticket into heaven.

Well that was pretty much a given, rapture or no..

Tanglebones wrote:
MrDeVil909 wrote:
Parallax Abstraction wrote:

The bible guarantees the McDonald's Judgment Day is coming? I dunno, cheeseburgers raining from the sky could be pretty good...

Yeah, it's pretty funny. That McDonalds is just down the road from me too.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:
boogle wrote:
Dimmerswitch wrote:

My moment of prophecy: On May 22nd, these yahoos will declare that, while the underlying calculations were sound, they got one thing slightly wrong - and that the rapture will happen on October 21, 2011.

Damn Jesus scheduling his rapture after my birthday. No one is going to want to party the night before the rapture. Such an asshole.

C'mon, Boogle, this can really work for you. "Baby, the Rapture's tomorrow, this might be our only chance!"

Yeah, of course she's going to be sobbing in contrition afterwards to buy her ticket into heaven.

Well that was pretty much a given, rapture or no..

He can also avoid the awkward next-morning stuff and sneak out before she wakes up without consequences. "Oh, he vanished! He must have been Raptured!"

Don't forget to sign up for Post-Rapture looting!!

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?ei...

mudbunny wrote:

Don't forget to sign up for Post-Rapture looting!!

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?ei...

I totally signed up for this!

Gremlin wrote:

Just once I wish the people who do the overly literal interpretations to support their supposed prophecies would note the part nearby where you're supposed to stone people who make false prophecies. If you take the one part literally, why do you ignore the other part?

I wouldn't mind seeing Westboro-style protests for this, but that's because I'm a bit more vindictive than Jesus.

MilkmanDanimal wrote:

Saturday is my wife's birthday.

And my brother's. Luckily, I think he's past the point of believing Left Behind as theology.

(Seriously, those books don't even sync up with most fundie theologies.)

Higgledy wrote:

It's a shame that the people who get caught up in these things don't realise that it's all happened before. It must be incredibly exciting to be building up to a date like this. You'd be feeling that all life's frustrations and disappointments were behind you, that you were going to be proved right and that your faith was soon going to be rewarded by an endless and blissful visit to heaven. The day after, when it's all turned to nothing, must be a killer.

Harold Camping, the guy behind all of this, has already experienced the big let down. He first claimed the world would end sometime in September 1994 and even wrote a book about it called 1994?. Instead of admitting he was wrong, he just doubled-down on the crazy and claimed that his 1994 prediction was based on incomplete information and that he's double-checked his Biblical math this time.

Math is hard.

OG_slinger wrote:
Higgledy wrote:

It's a shame that the people who get caught up in these things don't realise that it's all happened before. It must be incredibly exciting to be building up to a date like this. You'd be feeling that all life's frustrations and disappointments were behind you, that you were going to be proved right and that your faith was soon going to be rewarded by an endless and blissful visit to heaven. The day after, when it's all turned to nothing, must be a killer.

Harold Camping, the guy behind all of this, has already experienced the big let down. He first claimed the world would end sometime in September 1994 and even wrote a book about it called 1994?. Instead of admitting he was wrong, he just doubled-down on the crazy and claimed that his 1994 prediction was based on incomplete information and that he's double-checked his Biblical math this time.

I want my undersea dystopia. Get your sh*t together, Camping.

OG_slinger wrote:
Higgledy wrote:

It's a shame that the people who get caught up in these things don't realise that it's all happened before. It must be incredibly exciting to be building up to a date like this. You'd be feeling that all life's frustrations and disappointments were behind you, that you were going to be proved right and that your faith was soon going to be rewarded by an endless and blissful visit to heaven. The day after, when it's all turned to nothing, must be a killer.

Harold Camping, the guy behind all of this, has already experienced the big let down. He first claimed the world would end sometime in September 1994 and even wrote a book about it called 1994?. Instead of admitting he was wrong, he just doubled-down on the crazy and claimed that his 1994 prediction was based on incomplete information and that he's double-checked his Biblical math this time.

The truly amusing thing is that book has a number of five-star reviews on Amazon, all written after 1994.

Nomad wrote:

Interesting

God wrote:

“But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only. Matt. 24:36

I guess that doesn't apply to these guys.

Maybe they're making an educated guess?

Personally, I'm waiting for this:

IMAGE(http://images3.cpcache.com/product/235131993v7_480x480_Front_Color-Black.jpg)

This would have to fall on my daughter's birthday.

Velocirapture would be so awesome. Why don't more doomsday cults incorporate cool stuff like that?

As long as I get to be the guy in the top hat and tails, I'm all good.

OG_slinger wrote:

Harold Camping, the guy behind all of this, has already experienced the big let down. He first claimed the world would end sometime in September 1994 and even wrote a book about it called 1994?. Instead of admitting he was wrong, he just doubled-down on the crazy and claimed that his 1994 prediction was based on incomplete information and that he's double-checked his Biblical math this time.

Well its good to know he didn't let being wrong get him down. He just beheld the problem and got right back on that pale horse.

OG_slinger wrote:
Higgledy wrote:

It's a shame that the people who get caught up in these things don't realise that it's all happened before. It must be incredibly exciting to be building up to a date like this. You'd be feeling that all life's frustrations and disappointments were behind you, that you were going to be proved right and that your faith was soon going to be rewarded by an endless and blissful visit to heaven. The day after, when it's all turned to nothing, must be a killer.

Harold Camping, the guy behind all of this, has already experienced the big let down. He first claimed the world would end sometime in September 1994 and even wrote a book about it called 1994?. Instead of admitting he was wrong, he just doubled-down on the crazy and claimed that his 1994 prediction was based on incomplete information and that he's double-checked his Biblical math this time.

Ouch.

LobsterMobster wrote:

Personally, I'm waiting for this:

IMAGE(http://images3.cpcache.com/product/235131993v7_480x480_Front_Color-Black.jpg)

The fact that this has not happened proves, to me, the non-existence of god! Agnosticism be damned, this has made me a fully-fledged atheist!

Velocirapture would be awesome. Someone who loves us would want us to have awesome things. God is claimed to love us. We have no velocirapture. Ergo: God does not exist.

To be fair, we don't know that Velocirapture won't happen. It's just it hasn't happened yet.

davet010 wrote:

So Man City win the FA Cup after 35 years without a trophy, and then the world bleeding ends. Well I suppose it was either this or the Large Hadron Collider.

Thanks a lot, Jesus. You do know that it's Man United who have the devil on their badge, right ?

I LOL'd.

Also, how did we get this far without this?

Everybody learns to skateboard after the rapture!

Rallick wrote:
LobsterMobster wrote:

Personally, I'm waiting for this:

IMAGE(http://images3.cpcache.com/product/235131993v7_480x480_Front_Color-Black.jpg)

The fact that this has not happened proves, to me, the non-existence of god! Agnosticism be damned, this has made me a fully-fledged atheist!

Velocirapture would be awesome. Someone who loves us would want us to have awesome things. God is claimed to love us. We have no velocirapture. Ergo: God does not exist.

I once convinced my younger brother of the non-existence of God using very similar logic and the fact that I had a headache.

Debate team is a dangerous weapon.

wordsmythe wrote:
Rallick wrote:

Velocirapture would be awesome. Someone who loves us would want us to have awesome things. God is claimed to love us. We have no velocirapture. Ergo: God does not exist.

I once convinced my younger brother of the non-existence of God using very similar logic and the fact that I had a headache.

Debate team is a dangerous weapon.

I have a friend who gave some Jehovah witnesses a very hard time because the image of heaven on the front of their pamphlet had parrots in it. His heart felt argument was that it wouldn't be heaven for him if there were parrots there.